Skills Of Counselling - The Fountain

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1SKILLS OF COUNSELLINGMICROSKILL MODELKinesics and Focusing are includedD. John Antony, OFM, Cap.Anugraha PublicationsAnugraha(Tamilnadu Capuchin Institute for Counselling, Psychotherapy and Research)Nochiodaipatti Post, Dindigul – 624 003, Tamilnadu, India2003

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3 D. John Antony, OFM.Cap., 2003Other Books by the Author:1. Dynamics of CounsellingMicroskill ModelTA & NLP are included2. Skills of CounsellingMicroskill ModelKinesics & Focusing are included3. Types of CounsellingLifespan Developmental & Situational ApproachDevelopmental Psychology is included4. Psychotherapies in CounsellingIncludes Theories of Personality6/!Nx Xh hMk Kl !gjz!F{ kqxe !likqiq!!7/!Nx Xh hMk Kkzqe !ujggt !uip U!LPjlg gie!uti fqjz!lx Xl ! pz !n[GLjx!uti fqjzg gie!dtfzuqbz !-j{g gh hm Mt tK!First EditionSecond Edition::Published by:July 1995June 2003Anugraha PublicationsAnugraha(Tamilnadu Capuchin Institute for Counselling, Psychotherapy and Research)Nochiodaipatti Post, Dindigul – 624 003, Tamilnadu, IndiaPrinted at:Vaigarai PathipagamBeschi College, Dindigul – 624 001, Tamilnadu, IndiaAvailable at:Asian Trading Corporation58, 2nd Cross, Da Costa LayoutSt. Mary’s Town, Bangalore – 560 084, IndiaTel: 080 – 5487444, 5490444E-mail: mails@atcbooks.net

4TOALLMYFORMATORSANDMENTORS

5ACKNOWLEDGEMENTSWith my heart welling up with gratitude I thankFr. Divakar, OFM. Cap., the Provincial for encouraging me to bringout the second edition of this book;Fr. R. Charles, OFM. Cap., the Guardian and the members ofAnugraha for their constant support to me while editing the book;Dr. K. Soundar Rajan, Ph.D., for his timely and generous help tocomplete the typing work, go through the material meticulously and dothe proofreading;Sr. Genevieve, SCC., for her careful language correction of thematerial;Sr. Mary Paul, SAB., Master Shakti S. Rajan and Fr. Isidore Toppo,CMF., for their generous offer to help with the typing work andFr. S. S. Sahayaraj, OFM. Cap., for his patient and painstakingproofreading of the material and suggestions for the improvement.May the Good Lord bless you, dear friends, for your extraordinarygenerosity towards me! Thank you ever so much.

6SKILLS OF COUNSELLINGTABLE OF CONTENTSDedicationAcknowledgementTable of ContentsKinesics (Table of Contents)Focusing (Table of Contents)Overview of the Microskill Model of CounsellingPrefaceINTRODUCTIONPRE-HELPIING PHASESTAGE - 1ACQUAINTINGCOUNSELLOR: ACQUAINTINGCOUNSELLEE: ASSOCIATINGCOUNSELLOR’S SKILL: ACQUAINTING1.2.3.4.5.6.7.WelcomingProviding Privacy' Small Talk 'ConfidentialityTime - limitPrevious CounsellingInvitation to talkCOUNSELLEE’S TASK: ASSOCIATING1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.WillingnessGreater ResponsibilityLaw of InertiaFear of ChangeReluctant ClientResistant Client' Coax me ' GameSilence

7STAGE-2OBSERVINGCOUNSELLOR: OBSERVINGCOUNSELLEE: MANIFESTINGCOUNSELLOR'S SKILL: OBSERVING1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.11.12.13.14.Body Speaks MostUnconscious peeps through the bodyBody speaks a languageEnergy levelEye ScanningBreathing (Calibration)Hand and Arm GesturesHand-to-face gesturesArm & leg barriersReadiness gesturesCourtship gesturesHead gesturesSmoking gesturesOwnership gesturesCOUNSELLEE’S TASK: MANIFESTING1.2.3.4.5.Displaced ActivitiesPsychodynamics of FreudFixed muscular patterns reveal attitudesSweatshirts & Ulterior TransactionsWritten Messages1)Slants2)Size of Script3)Spacing(1)Between Letters(2)Between Words(3)Between Lines4) Zones5) Pressure6) General Style(1) Garland

8(2) Arcade(3) Angular(4) ThreadedSTATE - 3FOUNDINGCOUNSELLOR: FOUNDINGCOUNSELLEE: INVOLVINGCOUNSELLOR’S SKILL: FOUNDING1.Attending1)Distance2)Zone Distance3)Squaring4)Seating Arrangements(1)Cooperative Position(2)Corner Position(3)Independent Position(4)Competitive - Defensive Position(5)Counselling Position5)Eyeing(1)Business Eyeing(2)Social Eyeing(3)Intimate Eyeing6)Open Posture7)Leaning Forward8)Remaining Relatively Relaxed9)Mirroring10)Encouragements to talk2.Listening1)Kinds of Listening(1) Fake Listening(2) Partial Listening(3) Selective Listening(4) Projective Listening(5)Filtered Listening(6) Total Listening

92)Reasons for Inadequate Listening(1)Physical y of Problem(5)Dissimilarity of Problem(6)Over eagerness(7)Distraction3.Responding1)Reflecting Content2)Reflecting Feeling3)Reflecting Deeper Feeling4)Dealing sufficiently with Feeling5)Dealing with strong negative Feeling(1)Grief(2)Anger6)Responding to Silence7)Spacing Responses8)Kinds of Responses(1)Evaluating or Advising Responsesa.May not be usefulb.May be usefulc.Giving information(2)(3)(4)Interpretative or Analysing ResponsesSupportive or Reassuring ResponsesProbing or Questioning Responsesa.Facilitative Questionsa)Informative Questionsb)Specific Questionsc)Elaborate Questionsd)Personal Affect Questionsb.Non - Facilitative Questionsa)Curious Questionsb)' Why’ Questionsc)Closed Questionsd)Too Many Questionse)Continuous Questionsf)Two Questions

10g)h)i)j)k)(5)Leading QuestionsThreatening QuestionsAmbiguous QuestionsPoorly timed QuestionsQuiz Programme QuestionsUnderstanding or Paraphrasing Responsesa.Internal & External Frame of Referenceb.Usefulness of Understanding ResponsesCOUNSELLEE’S TASK: INVOLVING1.2.3.ExpressingLevels of t levelTypes of Problem Situation1)Experience2)Behaviour3)AffectSTAGE - 4DIAGNOSINGCOUNSELLOR: DIAGNOSINGCOUNSELLEE: INVESTIGATINGCOUNSELLOR’S SKILL: DIAGNOSING1.Problem Areas1)PsychoneurosesA.Background(1)Freudian Theory of Personalitya.Structural or Topographicalb.Functional or Dynamic(2)Dynamics of NeurosisB.Kinds of Neurosis(1)Hysteria

11a.b.c.d.(2)(3)(4)(5)2)3)2.3.HystericsAnxiety HysteriaConversion HysteriaHysterical Dissociative ReactionPsychastheniaPhobiaAnxiety State & Depressive ReactionPsychophysiological DisordersDevelopmental ProblemsDevelopmental Defects(1)Personality Pattern Deviationa.Paranoid Personalityb.Cyclothymic Personalityc.Schizoid Personalityd.Obsessive - Compulsive Personalitye.Explosive Personalityf.Hysterical Personalityg.Aethenic Personality(2)Antisocial Personality (Psychopathy)(3)Sexual ' Deviations'a.Satyriasis & Nymphomaniab.Incestc.Homosexuality & g.Necrophiliah.Sadismi.Masochism(4)Substance - Use Disorders (Drug & Alcohol Dependence)(5)Mental Retardation(6)Transitory Personality Reactions(7)PsychosesPinpointing the ProblemFacilitating ' Focusing'1)Introduction2)Advantages of Focusing3)Focusing Attitude4)Felt Sense5)Let the Client do the focusing

124.Asking for a Recent EventCOUNSELLEE'S TASK: INVESTIGATINGHELPING PHASESTAGE - 5PACINGCOUNSELLOR: PACINGCOUNSELLEE: EXPLORING1.COUNSELLOR'S SKILL: PACINGGenuineness1)Unfeigning Understanding2)Expressing Directly3)Responding Immediately4)Being Spontaneous5)Manifesting Vulnerability6)Clearing Pipelines7)Being Non - Defensive8)Being Consistent2.Respect1)Being Available2)Paying Attention3)Being for the Client4)Physically Prizing5)Valuing Diversity6)Valuing Individuality7)Assuming Goodwill8)Faith in her Potential9)Faith in her Responsibility10)Giving Freedom11)Remaining Neutral12)Being Honest3.Basic EmpathyA.Components of Empathy1)Understanding

132)3)B.C.4.CommunicatingTo her SatisfactionSympathy - Empathy ComparisonBehaviour Modalities1)Reporting Content & Feeling2)Checking Accuracy3)Picking up Core Messages4)Keeping her on Agenda5)Being Flexible6)Not Parroting7)No Crazy Talk8)No Dawdling9)No Long-windedness10)Not being Impulsive11)Noting Client ResistanceConcreteness1)One Issue at a Time2)Direct Question3)Recent Event4)‘I’ Statement5)Specific Goals6)Specific Means7)Present FeelingCOUNSELLEE'S TASK: EXPLORINGSTAGE - 6PERSONALIZINGCOUNSELLOR: PERSONALIZINGCOUNSELLEE: UNDERSTANDINGCOUNSELLOR'S SKILL: PERSONALIZING1.2.3.Personalizing the MeaningPersonalizing the ProblemPersonalizing the GoalCOUNSELLEE'S TASK: UNDERSTANDING

14STAGE - 7REFRAMINGCOUNSELLOR: REFRAMINGCOUNSELLEE: REORIENTINGCOUNSELLOR’SKILL: REFRAMING1.Introduction1)Meaning Reframing2)Context Reframing3)Advantages of Reframing2.Alternative Frame of Reference1)Solvable Problem2)Concentration on Resources3)Positive Future4)Dreadful Future5)Open Future6)Another Angle7)Soft Pedalling8)Two Perspectives9)Changing Roles10)Challenging Values11)Challenging Beliefs12)Using 'I' Statement3.Advanced Empathy1)Expressing the Implied2)Identifying Themes3)Connecting IslandsConcluding from Premises5)Less to the More6)Summarizing4)4.Challenging (Caring Confrontation)1)Challenging Discrepancies Between(1)What She says and Does(2)Her View of Herself & Others’ View of Her(3)What She is and what she wants to be(4)Verbal & Non Verbal Expressions(5)Past and Present Utterances

152)3)4)5)6)7)5.Challenging DistortionsChallenging GamesChallenging ExcusesChallenging Irrational Inner RuleKinds of Challenging(1)Simple Didactic(2)Hot - SeatGuidelines for Challenging(1)Based on Relationship(2)Out of Love(3)With care(4)Depending on her State(5)Build on Success(6)Be tentative(7)Own your Thoughts & Feeling(8)Present it Neutrally(9)Rest the Responsibility on Client(10) Do not overdo it(11) Be open to challenge yourself(12) Be Specific(13) Challenge Strengths than Weakness(14) Encourage Self - Challenge(15) Present Challenges as FeedbacksSelf - Disclosure1)2)3)Kinds of Self - DisclosureSelf - Disclosure is a ChallengeAdvantages of Self - Disclosure(1)Freedom from Fear(2)Appearing Human(3)Modelling(4)Direction4)Dangers of Self - Disclosure(1)Burdensome(2)Appearing Weak(3)Dominating(4)Counter Transference5)Facilitative Self - Disclosure(1)Relevant & Selective

16(2)(3)6.AppropriateFlexibleImmediately (Direct, Mutual Talk)1)Kinds of Immediacy(1)Relationship Immediacy(2)Here and now Immediacy2)3)4)Components of essPurpose of Immediacy(1)To be immediate with Counsellor(2)To be immediate with othersContext of Immediacy(1)Trust Issue(2)Dependency(3)Counter Dependency(4)Different Stages(5)Directionless Session(6)Attraction(7)Social Distance(8)AngerCOUNSELLEE'S TASK: REORIENTINGSTAGE - 8INITIATINGCOUNSELLOR: INITIATINGCOUNSELLEE: ACTING1.COUNSELLOR'S SKILL: INITIATINGChange what can be changed1)Daydream the Goal2)Power of Possibilities3)Find Leverage(1)Attend to Crisis First(2)Attend to Pain(3)Attend to what is important for her(4)Attend to Manageable Sub - Problem

172.3.4.5.1.2.3.4.5.(5)Attend to that which will yield general Improvement(6)Attend to Benefits that will out weigh cost(7)Instil Confidence in the ClientDefine the Goal1)Outcome Oriented Goals2)Specific Goals3)Measurable goals4)Goals with Impact5)Realistic Goals6)Goals with no Obstacles7)Goals under control8)Economic Goals9)Goals Consonant with her Values10)Goals with a Time - Frame11)Satisfying GoalsHelping Clients commit themselvesEconomy in ActionReaching the Goal through Strategies1)Suspend Judgement2)Encourage more Strategies3)Encourage Crazy Thinking4)Let her choose a Strategy5)Make use of Old Strategies6)Sustain Strategies7)Operationalize the Goal8)Making Contracts9)Let her accept gracefully what cannot be changed10)Prepare her for the worst11)Prepare her to be happy12)Help her FocusCOUNSELLEE'S TASK: ACTINGWillingness to appropriateCourage to carry outSustained AttemptResuming after a relapseInvesting the maximum

18POST HELPING PHASESTAGE - 9EVALUATINGCOUNSELLOR: EVALUATINGCOUNSELLEE: REVIEWINGCOUNSELLOR'S SKILL: EVALUATING1.2.3.4.On-going EvaluationClient - Centred EvaluationSelf - EvaluationAdvantages of Evaluation1)Support2)Being with3)Overcoming Initial Difficulties4)Honouring the contracts5)Modifying Goals6)Modifying Strategies7)Getting Strengthened8)Learning Process9)Acknowledging Learning10)Moaning Failure11)Failure is Learning12)Celebrating Victory13)Enhancing RelationshipCOUNSELLEE’S TASK: REVIEWINGCONCLUSION1.2.3.4.5.IntroductionNon judgemental aritiesCourageous OwningFriendly AttitudeBeing Sensitive to Oneself

196.With a Sense of ExcellenceCHARTSChart1.2.3.4.5.I:Evolution of CounsellingClient - Centred & Non - Directive Model of Carl. R. RogersCharles A. Curran's ModelIntegrative & Directive Model of Robert R.CarkhuffDevelopmental Model of Gerard Egan4.1Brief4.2ElaborateMicroskill Model of D. John Antony5.1Brief5.2ElaborateChart II:Comparison of Counselling ModelsNon Directive - Directive - Developmental - MicroskillAPENDIXESAppendix I: Counselling FormatAppendix II: Focusing Manual1.2.IntroductionSix Steps Focusing1)Clearing a Space2)Having a Felt Sense3)Getting a handle4)Resonating5)Asking6)Receiving3.4.5.Ending the SessionIllustration (1)Illustration (2)ENDNOTESBIBLIOGRAPHY

20KINESICSTABLE OF 18.Displaced ActivitiesPsychodynamicsFixed Muscular PatternsSweat - Shirts and Ulterior TransactionsHead GesturesEye ScanningBreathing (Calibration)HandshakeHand & Arm GestureHand - to face GesturesArm & Leg BarriersReadiness GesturesCourtship GesturesSmoking GesturesOwnership GesturesWritten Messages1)Slants2)Size of Script3)Spacing 6)General Style(1)Garland(2)Arcade(3)Angular(4)ThreadedZone DistanceSeating Arrangements1)Cooperative Position2)Corner Position3)Independent Position4)Competitive - Defensive Position5)Counselling Position

21FOCUSINGTABLE OF CONTENTS1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.IntroductionAdvantages of FocusingFocusing AttitudeFelt SenseLet the Client do the FocusingSix - Step Focusing1.Clearing a Space2.Having a Felt Sense3.Getting a Handle4.Resonating5.Asking6.ReceivingEnding the SessionIllustration (1)Illustration (2)

22OVERVIEW OF THE MICROSKILL MODEL OF COUNSELLINGSTAGE tingActing9.EvaluatingReviewing

23PREFACECounselling is an art and as such like any art it requires certain specific skills ifit is to be effective. Skills are like techniques related to particular fields. One may have alot ofgoodwill but may not have the necessary skills or tools to dealwith the jobconcerned. Hence the need of acquiring the skills that go with the efficiency of a givenjob. For instance, take a person who is a born artist. He has only the potency to develophis talents of an artist but in fact he may clumsily do the painting without proper initiationand acquisitionof the skills. He may do a little better than we do just because he isnaturally more gifted than we are. But his performance can be enhanced if only he has thetraining requiredand acquires the skills necessary.In my previousbook entitled ' Dynamics of Counselling' I have rather elaboratelydealt with all that accompany counselling along with the skills. Of course, skills werespoken of but always in a wider context. That was to serve a particular need of placingthe skills in a context. Now in the presentattempt Iwould like to highlight the skills,giving special attention to their various nuances. It would serve me, my colleagues in thecounselling profession, those counsellor trainees who are learning thebasics ofcounselling and those lay persons eager to practise counselling. For all of them a systematicpresentation of the skills alone will be a handy referenceto meet the immediateneeds.Practically in training sessions we finally settle down for the skills, asking the trainees torememberthe skills they have learned and how they are applied or not applied in theircounselling skills practice.Counselling psychology is a vast ocean though only of late it has become anindependentscience with its own rights. Every time you deal with people in crisis or givetraining to the trainees you are rewardedwith new insights that go to enhance the wholethrust of counselling. Hitherto I have observed that most of the researches were done in

24knowing whatin the counsellor facilitated or did not facilitate an effective counselling.Because, any counselling interaction, it is presumeda positive influencemajoror a negativehurdle of not beingcannot be neural, for it either exertsone on the client. When counsellingmet with areally useful, since clients spontaneously improved evenwithout counselling, as much as the people who underwent counselling, the attentionturned to the person ofthe counsellor. The researches came upwith the astonishingconclusion that it is the quality of the counsellor that made a difference with regard to itseffectiveness. I am just wondering whether it is the whole story. Can there not be anythingthatis vitally required of a counsellee too, taking for granted that a counsellor should befunctioning at a higherlevel, towards worthwhile counselling. In this endeavourI ammodestly attempting to spell out those little attitudes of the counsellee that are as essential asthose of the counsellor if not more, towards an efficientwondering what they might be trying to identifycounselling. I myselfamin every situation those elusive attitudesin my search. I know counsellors who are experts in their profession and yet a sizeablenumber of clientsdid not profit from such persons. Definitely there could be a numberof things wanting in the same counsellors. But is itthe whole picture of the complexreality of counselling? With certain hunches, I attempt to trace some qualities needed inthe counsellee herself. It seemsrather a shared responsibility of the counsellor and thecounsellee. If a counselling is not successful, apart from various other reasons, it could beeither the deficiency of the counsellor or of the counsellee. In this book, I am making amaiden attempt to underscore the attitudes of the counsellee herself. In this way, this bookis different from the previous one in which I had just made mention of those attitudesof the counsellee without dealing with them in detail.For the above reasons ‘Skills of Counselling’Counselling’ mainly complementingand projectingcomes as a sequel to 'Dynamics ofthe aspects of skills, exploring intothe working of the client and adding new insights gained through experience and reading. Iwould also like to keep in mind the need of academic aspects being presented in a practicalway. Therefore I am concerned about giving a number of examples wherever possible to

25illustrate the point at issue. When all is said and done, I prefer to consider this search asa study-process beingopen to new insights and interpretations. Hence my concern is tokeep myself open to feedbacks and comments so that I can profit by them.The model I present in this book is called ‘Microskill Model.’ It is definitelyanattempt to break the skills into smaller units for the sake of the learning process. Anythingin smaller dose is assimilated more easily than a bigger chunk. That is the principle that Ikeep in mind while presenting the model. I would also like to caution you against thedanger of being bogged at every stage forgettingthe total vision. There may be twodangers in approaching counselling. The one is to break down into smaller units and getentangled in the steps without looking at the whole process taken together. Here one maylose the total vision and unnecessarily concentrate on a small unit more than needed.The other danger of seeing the whole process of counsellingtogether as integrativethough advantageous in itself has the tendency to overlook each step needed. One couldmake the mistake of being very superficialnot dealtwithsufficiently eitherwithout any substancesince the steps arefor want of skills or want of time. Microskill modelhelps you to master each step meticulously and keeps you reminded that the counselling hasto be taken as a whole in an integrative way. A balance of being on a step and looking atthe end will be the best attitude one could take in approaching counselling.You are invitedto approachconcentrating on each step. Whilecounselling as a whole organismclimbing up the stair

SKILLS OF COUNSELLING MICROSKILL MODEL Kinesics and Focusing are included D. John Antony, OFM, Cap. Anugraha Publications Anugraha (Tamilnadu Capuchin Institute for Counselling, Psychotherapy and Research) Nochiodaipatti Post, Dindigul – 624 003, Tamilnadu, India 2003 . 2 . 3 D. John Antony, OFM.Cap., 2003 Other Books by the Author: 1. Dynamics of Counselling Microskill Model TA & NLP are .

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