Wedding Guide THE ULTIMATE - Villa Russo

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THE ULTIMATEWedding GuideHow to budget, plan and have a perfect wedding(718) 849 0990villarussocatering.com1

CongratulationsON YOUR RECENT ENGAGEMENTThe next few monthswill be a whirlwind of activityto make sure your wedding is asperfect as your match with your mate.This ultimate wedding guide provides youwith all the information you need tobudget, plan and take part in one of themost important events in your life.Ready to get started?2

MONTH ONE: BUDGET AND BASICS How many people will make up your wedding partyof bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls and ringbearers, ushers, hosts, etc.? A larger wedding partyincreases the costs for flowers, as an example.Determine Your BudgetThe first step to planning your wedding is determiningyour budget. While it was once customary for thebride’s parents to cover the cost of the wedding, it’sless common today. Brides, grooms, family and evenfriends all can contribute toward the wedding budget. How many people will you invite to the wedding?Having a large wedding requires a larger venue andwill cost more for catering and food. What’s your style? A more formal wedding, forexample, will be costlier than a casual rustic wedding.If you are struggling to identify what your budget willbe, here are a few things to consider: Who will be officiating your wedding? A minister orreligious leader? A justice of the peace? How much can you and your future spousecomfortably contribute toward wedding costs?Allocating Your Budget Who else wants to contribute to the wedding?Parents? Siblings? A family friend?Planning a wedding is stressful, delightful, fun andexciting. It can be easy to get caught up in theemotional enthusiasm of making the day extra special,which is why breaking down your budget can helpkeep your spending in check. While you may not knowyour exact costs yet, you can determine how much ofyour budget you want to spend on each aspect of yourwedding. What amount will they be contributing? Do thosecontributing to the wedding want to pay for specificcosts such as the flowers, bar tab, honeymoon, etc.? What’s most important to you? For example, goodfood, great music, the perfect dress, an incrediblevenue, breathtaking photography, etc. This will helpyou prioritize how the budget will need to be spent.The following list can help you evaluate and determinewhat’s most important to you and how much you arewilling (and able) to spend. What time of the year do you plan to be married?Summer weddings tend to be more expensive thanweddings taking place in the fall and spring months. What time of day do you plan to get married? Earlymornings often are more affordable than afternoonand evening weddings. If you plan to marry arounda meal time, you can expect to pay more in cateringcosts, as an example. Where will the wedding be held? A wedding in a bigcity can be more expensive than a wedding in a ruralsetting. It can also be more expensive if you plan adestination wedding, especially if this requires a tripoverseas.3

ExpenseBudget AllocatedMarriage License and Medical (e.g. blood work, physical, etc.) . . . . . . . . . . . . Premarital Counseling . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Save the Date, Invitations, Postage, Etc. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wedding Rings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ceremony and Venue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wedding Officiant Costs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rehearsal Dinner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dance Lessons (e.g. father-daughter dance, couple’s first dance, etc.) . . . . . . . . . Tips, such as for limo drivers, wedding officiant, musicians, bartender, hair dresser, etc. . . Parking and Transportation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Reception Venue and Catering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wedding Cake . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Flowers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Decorations and Party Favors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rental Fees (e.g. linens, tables, chairs, candelabras, etc.) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Permits and Licenses (e.g. venue requirements, etc.) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Photography (including engagement photos) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wedding Dress and Tux Rental . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Entertainment and Music . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Attire (if supplementing the cost for bridesmaids,groomsmen and other wedding party members) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hair and Beauty . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gifts for Wedding Party Members . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hotel and Lodging . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Honeymoon (including airfare, spending money, transportation, lodging, etc.) . . . . . . Overtime Costs (e.g. staying longer at venue than agreed upon) . . . . . . . . . . . Service Fees (e.g. parking attendants, coat checkers, bathroom attendants) . . . . . . . Weather Related Costs (e.g. umbrellas, space heaters, fans, etc.) . . . . . . . . . . . Unplanned/Emergency Costs (e.g. last minute dry cleaning, etc.) . . . . . . . . . . . Set Aside Budget (for “just in case” needs). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Unpaid Time Off for Wedding Needs, Wedding and/or Honeymoon . . . . . . . . . . TOTAL WEDDING BUDGET: PRO TIP: Keep a journal of the costs as you incur them. This canprevent going over-budget, but more importantly it helps you knowhow much you are spending.4

The “will likely not attend anyway” method. If theperson you want to invite likely won’t attend due toillness, distance or financial issue, you can move themlower in the list.Set Your Guest ListGetting married is a time for celebration with the mostimportant people in the lives of your future spouse andyou. It can be difficult, especially if you have a largeextended family or many friends, to determine who willbe invited to your wedding. After you have whittled down your guest list, you nowhave your master guest list.Select a VenueHere are a few tips to help determine who goes onyour guest list:The venue or location sets the mood, tone and stylefor your wedding and will serve as a backdrop for yourwedding photos. Wedding venues can be selectedbased upon sentimental value, architectural or naturaldetails, and location as well as convenience and cost.For example, a venue that hosts both the wedding andreception can be very convenient for wedding guestsand can save money in transportation, decorations, etc.On the other hand, selecting a venue specifically forthe wedding and another for the reception can haverewards too. For example, a wedding venue could bequite formal such as in a church or historical locationbut the reception venue could be more celebratorysuch as taking place in a ballroom or catering hall. Sit down with your partner, your parents, and yourfuture in-laws. Start by creating a full list of everyonewho could be invited if budget was no object. Thiswill likely be a large list, but don’t worry! This is justyour starter list. Next, look at your budget, and determine how muchmoney you want to spend per wedding attendee.Now look at how many you have in your starter listvs. your budget. How many people will you need toremove from your starter list to keep your weddingcosts in check? As you look at your starter list, breakyour attendees into the following groups: Must –These are the people who are most importantto you and who absolutely must be at your weddingto make it special. This list should include those whowill be part of your wedding party.Some things to consider when selecting a venue include: Location – Is it convenient for your guests? Willtransportation or travel be required? Would – You would like to invite them, but you’ll seeif your budget will allow it. Type – Is it a hotel? Outdoor park or similar setting?Historical landmark? Restaurant? Ballroom? Religiousbuilding such as a church, synagogue, mosque, ortemple? Should – This list consists of people that you likelyshould invite such as extended family members.Working as a team (you, your spouse, your parents andfuture in-laws) determine who must be invited and thenadd in the should and would invites as applicable. Purpose – A cocktail party type reception, for example,will fit more people than a formal, sit-down meal. Alarge church may fit more people than a small chapel. If you are faced with a tough decision about whoshould attend consider breaking the tie using: Capacity – How many people can comfortably fit inthe space? The “pay for the plate” method. If the person you wantto invite will not pay for his/her plate at your weddingin the form of a gift, then move them lower on the list. Layout – Does the overall layout and design of thespace work well with how you plan to use it?PRO TIP: Don’t worry if you can’t invite everyone. A few days after yourwedding send a postcard celebrating the good news, which can be sent to thosewho could not or did not attend! (It’s also a perfect opportunity to send along apicture of the two of you on your wedding day!)5

PRO TIP: When reserving your venue, be sure to ask about price or marketchanges and how this might impact your cost. Ideally, you should have alocked-in price and formal contract, which specifies the cost you will pay. Licenses and Restrictions – Does the venue requirea specific license to play music or serve alcohol? Arethere restrictions such as no outside catering or nochildren allowed?Book an OfficiantA wedding wouldn’t be possible if there wasn’t someonewho can legally marry the two of you! If you havesomeone in mind, it’s a good idea to ask him or herahead of time and book the date. Here are a few thingsto keep in mind when choosing your wedding officiant: Parking and Transportation – Can guests park or getto the venue easily? Catering – Does the venue provide catering? Whatelse is provided such as a wedding cake or open bar? Is marital counseling required? Extras – Does the venue provide seating, tables,linens, audio/visual equipment, DJ/music, etc.? Isthere an extra cost associated with these extras? Is the officiating provided free of charge or is a therea fee involved? (Be aware that many ministers may notcharge officiant fees; however, it is proper etiquette to pay Cleaning – Who is responsible for cleaning after theevent?your officiant for his or her time. This should be at least 250500, which covers the time at the rehearsal and the wedding.) Are there any special steps you or your spouse willneed to take such as converting to a new religion? Ifso, what will that entail? Deposits and Fees – What’s required to reserve thespace? Is there a damage deposit required? What’sthe cancellation policy?6

Some additional items that should be discussed withyour officiant include: What are your credentials?You can validate credentials by going to the NationalAssociation of Wedding Officials(http://www.nawoonline.com/) website. Would you feel comfortable conducting my weddingceremony?Listen to what he or she says but pay attention to bodylanguage and spiritual beliefs. If it isn’t a good fit foryou, look for someone else who can provide you withthe wedding you want. Can you travel to and from my wedding? Will yourequire travel expenses and lodging? Would you liketo attend the reception?If your wedding is taking place out of town, be sureyour officiant can travel to your wedding venue. Insome cases they may require you play travel expenses.Also, ask if they wish to attend your reception. Whilemany will not, it’s proper etiquette to offer and followthrough with an invitation.Buy Your Wedding Dress Do you have three to five references I can check?The wedding dress you select is perhaps the mostimportant choice you will make, second only to whomyou choose to marry! It will be both your fashionstatement and your most cherished heirloom.References from happy couples should be validated ifyour officiant is not known to you. May I use religious texts or poems in the ceremony?Some officiants will want to review them to makesure that they are acceptable, specifically if yourwedding takes place in a religious space. In othercases, knowing what texts might be read also help theofficiant understand the feel and tone of your wedding.While it is customary for a bride to look for weddingdress options with parents, siblings and friends,consider keeping your shopping companions toa minimum. The more opinions involved in dressselection will make it more difficult for you to find “the”dress. You can minimize your stress and streamline yourdecision-making by limiting your preview shoppers totwo to three people. How do you handle legal name changes?While it is traditional for the bride to change her lastname to that of her husband, some brides may want tokeep their maiden names. In other cases, you and yourfuture spouse may wish to hyphenate your last names.Be sure your officiant understands your name plans sothat your wedding certificate contains the correct names.Some questions to consider when selecting your dreamwedding gown include: Can I afford this dress?PRO TIP: If you want an extremely personal wedding service, selecting an officiantwho knows you well will help make your wedding that much more special. One wayyou can do this is to have a trusted friend marry you instead of traditional weddingofficiants. There are a number of websites that can make it easy for anyone to becomelegally ordained to marry a couple.7

PRO TIP: The perfect wedding dress should make you feelwonderful. This confidence will follow you as you walk down the aisle,giving you the blushing bride glow!If the dress is more than you’ve allocated for yourbudget, you should consider a more affordable option.Often non-designer dresses can be just as beautiful,but far less expensive.Pick Your Wedding Color PaletteKnowing what colors you plan to use in your weddingcan help in picking out everything from bridesmaiddresses and bow ties to flowers and table linens. It’srecommended that you select one primary color thatwill be the main focus color and one to two secondarycolors that complement the primary color. Does the dress match the style of wedding I want tohave?Your dress is the center of the wedding. It, along withyour venue, sets the tone for the style of your wedding.A very modern dress will require more modern flairfrom flower options to the food you serve at thereception. A traditional wedding dress, on the otherhand, will lend itself to venues with classic style.If you need some inspiration for color palette options,Design Seeds (http://design-seeds.com) has beautifulexamples of color palettes that work well together andcan help you iron out your color scheme.Your primary color should consist of the color you wantto stand out the most. Typically these are deeper orbrighter hues such as yellow, hot pink, orange, blue orred. Secondary colors should be either next to your coloron the color wheel (so they are similar in color) or acrossthe color wheel (so that they contrast nicely with yourprimary color.) For example, if your primary color is yellowcomplimentary colors would be green (next to yellow onthe color wheel) and a contrasting color would be purple(which is opposite of yellow on the color wheel.) Will I wear the same dress during the ceremony andreception or will I switch to another dress during thereception?For many brides, having a large ball gown is what isdesired at the wedding, but a shorter more practicaldress for the reception makes for better partying fun!If you plan to wear more than one dress, be sure thatyour budget reflects both. What attributes do I want to highlight the most suchas my curves, my small waist, my toned arms?You can also consider a monochrome palette which willconsist of the same color but in various hues. For example,black and shades of gray or white and shades of cream.The dress that you will feel most confident in typicallyhighlights the part of your body you love the most.A tiny waist can be highlighted with a colored sashor corseted waist. Toned arms look best is sleevelessor strapless dresses. Minimal crinolines create anhourglass shape to highlight curves.PRO TIP: After you have identified your key wedding colors, visit a paint storeand gather up paint swatch samples. Use these swatches to ensure that your colorsare consistent and there aren’t variations of colors that will be noticeable or clashwith each other. You can leave the color swatches with your cake baker and florist toensure that colors match well.8

Will the caterer allow me to sample food before hiringthem? Good caterers will often prepare small portionsof their top menu items for you to taste during yourmeeting with them.Select Vendors and EntertainersWhile your wedding is all about you and your spouse, foryour guests it’s all about what they see, taste and hear. Ifyou want to ensure a good time that will create lastingmemories, meet with key vendors and entertainers earlyto help determine the ambiance of your wedding day. Is it possible to have a specific dish or menu prepared? Can the caterer accommodate dietary restrictionssuch as gluten-free, vegan or Kosher?Questions for Entertainers: Are the products the caterer uses to prepare the foodfresh? Local? Organic? Frozen? Pre-prepared? Do the bands/deejays that I’m interested in haveany videos of performances or other weddings? Aperformance live and in person may sound verydifferent than on an album or demo reel. Is there a difference between a child’s portion or anadult portion when it comes to catering costs?Are there any upgrades or extras that the caterershould discuss with you such as: Will musicians be able to play the type of musicsuitable to my personal wedding style? Cloth linens, flatware and china instead of disposableproducts Are there any special requirements needed suchas staging or electrical outlets required for theentertainers to perform? Table and chair rental Fountains, punch bowl or other rental itemsQuestions for Caterers: Lighting and décor which can be rented Given my budget and style of wedding, what wouldthe caterer recommend and why? Banquet hall rental9

Are there any hidden fees related to services such aspermits, delivery, servers, chef fees, cake cutting fee,banquet manager, etc. How does the florist ensure that the flowers will lookfresh and not wilted on your wedding day? What if something (e.g. vases I’ve rented) get broken? Will the caterers provide the alcohol? Do they havethe proper permits? Will they allow me to create asignature drink?For Wedding Photographers/Videographers Does the photographer/videographer have any specialskills or experience to capture my wedding on film? What will the caterer set up? Take down? Clean-up? What’s the server to guest ratio? What is the typicalserver attire? Will the photographer/videographer travel to aspecial location (e.g. a beach, a lake, a flower garden)for photos or videos? If yes, is there a trip charge?Questions for Florists Who will own the final work product? Who holds thecopyright? Is there a charge for the initial consultation? If so,what is the fee? What happens if there is an equipment problem oroutage? Is there a backup plan in place? Are there samples (e.g. photos) of the florists weddingwork that I can review? How many cameras and operators will be present?Will they be there just for the wedding or for thereception as well? Given my budget and my color palette suggestions,what ideas does the florist have to make my flowersbeautiful yet affordable? How will the video be edited? Will it contain theceremony including dialogue or will it be video withmusic? How far is the florist willing to travel? Does the floristcharge a delivery fee? If yes, what is it? Is a mock-up of the bouquet possible? Is there acharge for this bouquet? If yes, what is it? What extras or upgrades are available (e.g. weddingalbum, negatives for purchase, proofs for purchase,etc.)? How long does the florist need for set-up? Are thereany special needs (e.g. access to water, area to do anyfine detail trimming, etc.) How long will it take before the photos and/or videowill be available after the wedding? Are there any other items that are available suchas candelabras, vases, votives, etc.? What are theassociated costs? How many copies of the video or photos will beavailable? What format will the final product be delivered in?(e.g. MP4 video file, DVD Blu-Ray, etc.) When should I finalize my order with the florist? Is adeposit required? When do I pay for everything I’veordered? Will the final product contain watermarks or logosspecific to the photographer or videographer?PRO TIP: Be sure to get cost estimates in writing and do not enlist a vendoror entertainer without a signed contract which specifies the date of the event,the services they agree to provide, the cost, and any other terms such as refund,cancellation or overtime fees.10

Visit Stores to Create Gift RegistriesYour friends and family members will customarilypurchase wedding gifts in celebration of this importantmilestone in your life. By creating a registry, you canmake sure they get you things you’ll actually likeand use. Keep in mind, it’s a good idea to registerat multiple stores since a single store may not beconvenient to everyone on your list.Here’s some more handy tips: Register for items at different price points. Noteveryone you invite will be able to attend yourwedding. It’s tempting for them to skip getting you agift if nothing on your list fits their budget.Break your registry into three specific groups: luxurywish list items, practical and cost effective, and heirloomitems. For example, a designer set of crystal goblets maybe considered a luxury item, where a flatware may bea practical alternative. A piece of artwork, on the otherhand, can be an important heirloom gift that will gracethe walls of your home for years to come. Err on the side of traditional when making pattern orstyle selections such as for china or flatware as theseage better than contemporary style choices. Ideally, your wedding registry should be handled byyour spouse and you alone. It’s a great time to learn tocompromise, find your mutual style and find gift optionsthat you’ll both enjoy. A typical registry should contain:Plan Your HoneymoonThe honeymoon should be a time to unwind and spendsome one-on-one time with your spouse. After all, themonths leading up to your wedding have likely beena flurry of activity. By planning ahead, you can avoidstressful complications. Here are some tips to help plana memorable honeymoon: Everyday plates and glasses Fine china Goblets, wine glasses or drinkware Flatware Small appliances Determine where you want to go and how long youplan to be away. Pots and pans Cooking utensils and tools Book your airfare, lodging and excursion plans well inadvance. Bath towels and bed linens Steak knife set Make sure passports are up-to-date if you are leavingthe country. Chef knives and cutting boardPRO TIP: If you have the same item registered in more than one retailer it canbe easy to receive duplicates. When you notice that something has been purchased,remove that item from other gift registries to prevent duplicates.11

PRO TIP: When making reservations, ask about special couplerates or no charge upgrades for couples who are honeymooning. When booking reservations such as airline tickets, besure to use the name that appears on your currentdriver’s license. While your name may legally changeafter the marriage ceremony, your identificationdocuments won’t be changed for a few more months. Include plenty of photos, especially of the two of youover the time you have been dating. Tell your story as a couple (how you met, gotengaged, why you are getting married, etc.) Becareful, however, about disclosing personal detailssuch as birthdays. Ask about cancellation and refund policies or refunds ifrates become lower closer to the date of your departure. Provide names and photos of the people who willmake-up your wedding party and what they will bedoing (e.g., mother of the groom, father of the bride,best man, maid of honor, etc.) Be sure, however, toget permission before using photos on your website. Get any necessary vaccines at least two monthsprior to your wedding so you won’t be sick on yourwedding day or during your honeymoon. Consider purchasing emergency travel insurance thatcovers the costs of missed flights and rebooking, ormedical care when traveling abroad. Indicate what you like to do together for entertainmentsuch as hiking, biking, sports, music, etc. Don’t forget about making plans for house or petsitting while you are on your honeymoon. Add your registry list and where you are registered,but don’t ask outright for gifts as that would be inpoor taste.Set Up a Wedding Website Consider adding a form to collect online RSVPs foryour wedding invitations.Wedding websites are all the rage these days and thereare a number of websites that allow you to create a freeaccount to create your wedding website. The processof setting it up is simple and most sites will have easy,step-by-step instructions. Here are a few tips to makeyour wedding website special: Avoid listing the specific location where your weddingand reception may be held. You don’t want peopleshowing up uninvited so it’s best to reveal the venuein an invitation.PRO TIP: Don’t forget to update your wedding site after you are married toinclude snapshots for those who could not attend. Be careful, however, about theuse of photos from your wedding photographer. These may be copyrighted so besure to get written permission to post them on your website.12

PRO TIP: Stretch your budget by looking for coupons online foryour printed items. Sites such as Retail Me Not (retailmenot.com)often offer steep savings!Prepare the Save the Date CardsSelect Dresses for Your BridesmaidsSave the Date cards are used to alert wedding guests ofthe official date of your wedding so they don’t make plansthat would hinder them from attending your ceremony.There are sites such as Shutterfly and Tiny Prints that havepre-designed templates to easily design your own card.You don’t have to include every detail about the weddingbut the things that should be included are:It’s great to go shopping at the store before yourattendants and have three or four styles selected.Having a few options in mind helps if your first choiceisn’t as becoming as you thought it would be. Whenconsidering dress options for your bridesmaids: The date and city where the wedding will be held Utilize the time of day to help determine dress length. Mimic the overall style (e.g. trendy, traditional, etc.) ofyour wedding dress for aesthetic cohesiveness A picture of you both together with your first and lastnames- Morning and afternoon weddings are suitable forknee or tea length dresses A link to your wedding website. That’s where theywill find information on your registry. (It’s considered- Evening weddings are suitable for floor length dresses Select a style and color that is flattering to the majorityof your bridesmaids. No bridesmaid wants to feeloverweight, over-exposed or look ill in wedding photos.to be improper etiquette to put where you are registeredon the Save the Date cards or invitations as it may seempresumptuous.)13

PRO TIP: Plunging necklines and strapless looks are extremely popular,however, they can be difficult to wear comfortably. Simple alterations such as anarrow strap or sheer, capped sleeves can go a long way for comfort, especially forbridesmaids with curves. When/How will the groomsmen walk in? Will theywalk down the aisle with the bridesmaids or come infrom the side at the beginning? Use your color swatches to ensure the color youselect will work well with other wedding décor Consider the affordability of the dress. A designerlabel may be what you’d like but it may not be a dressthat your bridesmaids can afford. Will there be a break before the bridesmaids come in fora song or speech (or at any time during the ceremony)? Factor in what foundational garments will be neededto wear the dress? A strapless bra? Crinolines? Do you want the flower girl and ring bearer to walkdown the aisle together or separately? Adjust the attire extras or needs based upon theclimate. An outdoor winter wedding, for example,may require dresses that have a velvet cape or furbolero. On the other hand, a tropical beach weddingmay be suitable for strapless and semi-sheer fabrics. Will there be any poems, religious readings or smallspeeches given during the ceremony? Will you light a unity candle, pour sand in a bottle,pass out roses etc.? When will you say your vows? Wil there be a greeting line? Or is there a specific wayyou want to dismiss guests?Make a First Draft of the Ceremonyand Sequence of Events Will the wedding party be announced as they enterthe reception? What order will they enter?While it’s still too early to plan everything, knowingapproximately when you want activities to occur canbe helpful. Of course, you’ll likely make alterations asyou get closer to the wedding date. For a relativelytraditional wedding

Save the Date, Invitations, Postage, Etc. . . the wedding and another for the reception can have rewards too. For example, a wedding venue could be quite formal such as in a church or historical location . wedding send a postcard

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