First published in Great Britain in 2017 by Orion Springan imprint of The Orion Publishing Group LtdCarmelite House, 50 Victoria EmbankmentLondon EC4Y 0DZAn Hachette UK Company10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1Copyright Jayne Hardy, 2017The moral right of Jayne Hardy to be identified asthe author of this work has been asserted in accordancewith the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988.All rights reserved. No part of this publication may bereproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmittedin any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without theprior permission of both the copyright owner and theabove publisher of this book.Illustrations by Dominic HardyA CIP catalogue record for this book isavailable from the British Library.ISBN: 978 1 4091 7758 6Printed in ItalyEvery effort has been made to ensure that the information in the bookis accurate. The information in this book may not be applicable ineach individual case so it is advised that professional medical adviceis obtained for specific health matters and before changing anymedication or dosage. Neither the publisher nor author accepts any legalresponsibility for any personal injury or other damage or loss arisingfrom the use of the information in this book. In addition if you areconcerned about your diet or exercise regime and wish to change them,you should consult a health practitioner first.www.orionbooks.co.uk
Times I've suckedat self-careWhat ittaught me
Describe 10 interesting facts about YOU12345678910
What balls are you juggling?
We're rarely at the top of the pecking order, wherewe belong. Where do you feel you're currently at?
Use the gauge below to mark how full,or un-full, your tank is right now.
This is a monthly mood tracker. Decide ondiffering moods for your colour-coded key andfill in an area of the fish a day, to represent themood which summed up the day for you.Mood keyeg. calm
I want to do, be, have and feel
Make a playlist of songs which inspire,uplift and make you smilemix tape12345678910
Pop your favourite quote/mantra in hereThen the things which calm, comfort and reassurein these:
Take time to write down all the negative thingsyou have been told:Now scribble over them – they're NOt your truth.Pinky promise.
What baggage are you carrying?
What, or who, keeps gettingin your way?
counter-arguments for play.‘Play’ encompasses any activities we do for no reason otherthan we just want to. Playful activities rejuvenate us, bringingjoy and fun. Because we’re out of the ‘play’ loop, we don’t alwaysknowto start in reclaiming that playful nature of ours.Find wherean image,The answers lurk in our childhood shenanigans: blanket-fortor draw an imagebuilding, Lego, colouring in, hop scotch, painting, reading,which respresentsday-dreaming, noughts and crosses, Buckaroo, tree climbing,how youfeel writing stories, reading . . . whatever brings backblowingbubbles,right nownostalgic,meaningful memories of play for you. Start there.Do the same for howyou'd like to feel
[your namehere]'s favourite things
Use the boxes below to describe yourselfin 10 positive words
We all have fears, use the signpoststo name yours
Name your acts of bravery
Your goalThe micro steps
What 'self-care' acts are taking your fancy?12345How will you make time for them?12345Quick! Pop them into your calendar/schedule.
Plan your ideal'self-care' day –each ray representsan hour
DAYTo doPLADrinksSleepThe best bit:Self-care shenanigans:OVERALL FEELINGThe worst bit:N
Who lifts you up?
Who holds you back?
What's missing? What support do you need?
Consider this: what advice would your elder-selfgive you right now? Pop it in the box below.That older self of yours is a wise 'ol owl145
Make a list of the things that comfortyou on lemon-pelting days
My self-care declarationI promise to:I will remember to:At all times, particularly in times ofstress or uncertainty, I will:I will try my absolute hardest to:I will choose kindness. Always.Signed:
Reflect on the things you enjoyed as a child
What's worrying you?Brain-dump in the space below.
Consider your bedtime routine. How could it betweaked to promote shuteye?
Self-care toolkit. What tools are in yours?
Your Emergency Self-Care Plan
Headspace: www.headspace.comI find their blog articles incredibly insightful and they aid reflection.Living Life: www.llttf.comI’ve used the CBT modules many a time, and will continue to do so.Samaritans: www.samaritans.orgI’m not ashamed to admit that I have called the Samaritans before andwouldn’t hesitate to do so again – for a dose of empathy and advice inthe darkest of times. Lifesavers.I’m Alive: www.imalive.org7 Cups of Tea: www.7cups.comFor the times anxiety has made using the telephone a really scarything to do, I’ve used these sources of online support and they’ve beenincredible. Lifesavers.Self-Compassion: www.self-compassion.orgI am getting much better at practising self-compassion and find thatreading this website helps me strive to be better at it. Always a work inprogress, right?!Thrive Global: www.thriveglobal.comDon’t we all want to thrive? I dip in and out of this website a lot asI love learning and reading other people’s perspectives on some ofthe problems I face.Quiet Revolution: www.quietrev.comIt took me years to realise that one of the reasons I didn’t feel as thoughI fitted in was because I was an introvert with lots of extroverted friends.It’s been liberating to learn about introversion and how schools, etc arebiased towards extroversion.Calm: www.calm.comMy go-to meditation and mindfulness app. I love that the recordingsaddress the difficulties that we may have when we begin meditating –I don’t find it easy at all and Tamara totally lets me off the hook for thatwhich means I embrace the quiet and solitude with very little beatingmyself up going on.183
building, Lego, colouring in, hop scotch, painting, reading, day-dreaming, noughts and crosses, Buckaroo, tree climbing, blowing bubbles, writing stories, reading . . . whatever brings back nostalgic, meaningful memories of play for you. Start there. Find an image, or draw an image