MIND OVER MONEY - Amazon S3
MIND OVER MONEY:Change Your Thoughts,Change Your Financial FutureBy Hilary Hendershott, MBA, CFP
I’ve been a financial guide and advisor for women for more than 15 years now. In that role, I have the privilege of knowing the innerworkings of the financial lives of my clients, whom I respect and deeply care about. And because of those relationships, I also knowthat for a woman, having achieved wealth does not always lead to the experience of financial freedom.I found myself wishing that, along with a professional investment portfolio and trusted advice, I could offer my clients a transformationof thinking. I wanted to be able to set them free to enjoy their life, love, friendships, family and money freely and without reserve.Then, several years ago, after making my own money mistakes, I went looking for what scientists and brain researchers were sayingabout why smart, well-meaning people can still fail financially.I was surprised to find the answers to both of these questions in just one idea. I put them to use, and soon, Ihad both happier clients and fuller bank accounts.In this guide, you’ll discover the most important details of what I found.I was desperate, but I knew the answer had to be somewhere.What I discovered astounded me — I found that the academics and experts have already pinpointed the brain’s ability to processour understanding of money. They’ve already explained why some people are destined to amass fortunes and others, ifleft to their own devices, are doomed to failure. This information is already known, but not understood, and certainly not being taughtwidely to the people who really need it.I used what I had learned to transform my own financial life.When I finally stopped worrying, I felt confident, and knew the steps to take so that I could rebuildmy wealth and grow a successful company.I trademarked the phrase Money Operating System , to describe what I had found.
Your Money Operating System controls your entire financial life.What you think about money controls what you buy, what you spend, how you save and invest, how you interact with others who havemore and less than you, and how you think and feel about yourself in all of this.Maybe you think of these as “money blocks” or “limiting beliefs” or your “money mindset”—it’s all essentially the same thing, but this MoneyOperating System Technology TM takes it a step further in isolating, understanding, and gaining power over it.If you see it for what it is, you can finally overcome it.In your life, you’ll gain control and the ability to make conscious choices, increase your income, your wealth, expand your confidence, andtruly enjoy financial freedom.That’s the big idea.A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:I first spoke publicly about the Money Operating System in my TEDx talk which was called The Surprising Power of Language to MakeYou Rich.This guide integrates all of that research and content, as well as new and valuable distinctions that will help you identify the systems youcurrently have in place in your life that are preventing you from producing any new result, until now.If you read the guide and complete the worksheets and exercises at the end, you’ll have drawn a complete picture of the system you’vecreated that is your financial life.When I work with clients, I help them introduce a brand new money system—one that works.New systems, habits and beliefs are critical to financial transformation simply because you’ve got to replace what’s already there.I’ve yet to meet a human being who wouldn’t be willing to become someone who receives and keeps more wealth in their lives, and thatdoes happen as a result of this work for both me and my clients.And what’s also possilbe is achieving financial maturity—real and experienced security, freedom and peace of mind.That is the work I hope we’ll do together.HILARY HENDERSCHOTTFINANCIAL3
INTRODUCTIONAs human beings, we are systems unto ourselves. We workin a complex community of relationships that allow us tointerrelate and create our lives. We interact with other humanbeings and create our experience of life.We connect through these systems. Thoughts are transferredfrom one human being to another. We learn. We exchange.Inside this exchange—this idea of connection is this idea that,for conscious human beings, a life of success and achievement is often (soon) devoid of satisfaction.I assert it isn’t possible. If I’m not successful, you aren’t successful. If you’re not successful, I’m not successful. We riseand fall together.One world. One human race. One air supply. One watersource. One atmosphere. One gravity.But how we talk about this oneness—well, that happens inlanguage.Once our cups are full, we can live alone at the top for abrief moment in time, and then we become aware of what’sleft—the communities and people we care about and ourneighbors who live with less.Connection to that suffering brings back an awareness of theache left inside—the yearning—to make an impact—to makea difference—to do a human something about the state ofthings beyond our personal worlds. The great human hoax isthat one human being can be successful.HILARY HENDERSCHOTTFINANCIAL4
THE LANGUAGE OF YOURMONEY OPERATING SYSTEM We think the language we use is a reaction to our world. Werelate to the things we say about life as though they are anaccurate description. For example:“It’s 3 o’clock”Dr. Lera Boroditsky, a Stanford Psychologist, has shown thatlanguage doesn’t just express otherwise universal thoughts,language gives rise to our thoughts. Her work has shownthat if you change how people talk, you can change how theythink. If people learn another language, they also learn a newway of looking at the world. When bilingual people switchfrom one language to another, they report that they startthinking differently, too.“I can’t afford it;”I became very interested in how language was creating myworld when I suffered near financial tragedy in my twenties.I graduated from college during the height of Silicon Valley’sDot Com Craze in 1998 and was earning six figures withinjust a few years. But I spent every penny, and somehow myexperience was ALWAYS that there wasn’t enough.And, for the most part, the scientific and academic communities have agreed with this assumption—that our descriptionsare results of the world around us and that they’re largelyaccurate.And I was frustrated. How does an educated person withgood intentions fail to produce positive results? How did I,who had so much, still experience the world and my accomplishments in it as not enough?Let’s examine that, though.At the same time, I was getting my start as a financial advisor and began my one-on-one work with affluent clients millionaires and multi-millionaires.“The floor is dirty”“He’s not nice”Now, neuroscience research is finding that, at least in someareas, our language actually gives rise to our experience,thoughts and actions. Even though it seems obvious that weare describing our world, sometimes our language createsour world.Over time, I started getting to know my clients. And I realizedthat many people who are wealthy still struggle with money.Some millionaires have an irrational fear of running out ofHILARY HENDERSCHOTTFINANCIAL5
money, some have shame about being wealthy, and stillothers destroy precious relationships over money.Then, there are people, some of whom have less money, whoare confident, rational and peaceful about it.experience some happy memory of the past, time spent withloved ones or an especially exhilarating experience—a senseand space of fulfillment. An experience of joy. Maybe evena generous feeling welling up—like “ohhh, I’d like to do thatagain.”I was fascinated.Language gives rise to experience.It turns out that one area where language is particularlydefinitive is in describing concepts, things that can never beseen, touched or tasted.HOW YOU LEARNEDABOUT MONEYTime is an example of something that is entirely conceptual.So here are things we often say about time:“I don’t have time.”“Time flies when you’re having fun!”Just like time, money is also largely conceptual. It only actuallyexists in language. We think cash is money. But cash is just a representation of money. Actually, an increasing number of retailersdo not accept cash, and if you don’t believe me, try paying cash fora cocktail on any commercial airline flight.Nope. Cash is not money.Both of these statements refer to the experience of timemoving quickly. Yet, notice when you read the first statement,you probably experience some form of frustration, anxiety,pressure or perhaps confinement—some closing in—somelack—some sense that there is not enough.And when you read the second statement to yourself, youMoney is not the numbers you see in your bank balance.Your credit card does not physically contain money.Further, gold is not money and checks are not money.HILARY HENDERSCHOTTFINANCIAL6
We cannot actually see or touch money, because money is just apromise, delivered in measurable units that can be transferred atthe connection of exchange for something we want, we value, weneed.And I submit to you that that is the ONLY thing that is fundamentally true about money. But we don’t live like that, do we?Most of us live like money and wealth have intrinsic meaning, butthey don’t. Money has a role in your life, a job, but it doesn’t haveintrinsic meaning.When you were a child, money didn’t exist for you until it did.Money is a human construct, a mutual agreement reality thatadults participate in, so it was tough for you to grapple with itsintangible nature.You were a blank canvas, but not for long. As you reached forunderstanding, your mind sought out and replaced lack of understanding with what the environment provided—a superstitionabout money, a belief about what money is.The first thing your young mind found to be true about moneybecame your Money Operating System .Money is conceptual, and the young mind seeks to translate theconceptual into something it can understand.The formative mind might as well be saying, “I know I can’t understand what money is, so at least give me something I can know tobe true about money.”And at that moment of translation from concept (nothingness) tosuperstition, human beings get stuck.You got stuck with a Money Operating System .Once belief is operating, it is, in fact, a kind of programming language upon which all the money concepts are coded.I call this your Money Operating System —and you can’t do anything about it until you understand that it is now installed and incharge.This operating system (as with the computer you connected withme on) draws its power from your belief and impacts every dayexchanges.This belief has now been installed as dominant across your entirefinancial landscape. The amount you save, the amount you spend,whether you invest, how you invest, how you negotiate for asalary, and how you feel about all of that is informed and controlled by that overarching belief that you, unwittingly, installed asboss.This belief might have been handed down through generations.HILARY HENDERSCHOTTFINANCIAL7
It’s almost certainly informed either by a story you were told oroverheard about money, or by a story you told yourself aboutsome experience you had that involved money.It’s not easily discovered. When you go looking for it, it’s like the airthat you breathe or the water that you swim in. It is a basic statement or assertion that you not only believe to be true, but is theway your money options are defined and controlled in your world.It’s your Money Operating System . It’s pre-coded. It determineshow you access and interact with the wider world.Here are five common Money Operating SystemsTM I see.5 COMMON MONEYOPERATING SYSTEMSTMFor example, I once met a man with this Money OperatingSystem who had just retired at age of 66 and was absolutelyconfident about his financial security. He only needed 50,000per year to live on, so he was shocked when I told him that the 120,000 in his savings accounts was likely to fund less than threeyears of retirement income.2. If I am good, the universe will give me what Ineed.While I do think this is a positive world outlook, it doesn’t tend tolead to productive financial behavior, like saving and investing,because these folks believe that their financial health is a functionof virtuousness.This Money Operating System often exists for people in conjunction with a religious belief system.1. There will always be enough money.3. Money gives me value./Money makes mepowerful.People with this belief can be high earners, sometimes they aresalespeople or their compensation is somehow performancebased. But sometimes they’re average earners who live simply,so they just don’t realize how much money they actually need tosave, and they need to be careful about being lulled into a falsesense of security around money.These people have money very intertwined with their self-worth.Other people often perceive them as powerful around money andbusiness. If they are successful, their ego and confidence growwith their bank account. If they are unsuccessful at producingresults, their confidence suffers and people can spiral downward. Interestingly, I when I discovered my own Money OperatingHILARY HENDERSCHOTTFINANCIAL8
System , I found that I two running my show. This was one ofthem.4. There will never be enough money.Pretty self-explanatory, and this actually was my other MoneyOperating System . It co-existed very destructively with “Moneymakes me valuable”.It’s unfortunate that I ended up with two that so obviously contradict one another, because as I was manifesting the Money OSTM“There will never be enough money” by overspending my income,my confidence was plummeting because I didn’t have any moneyleft to prove my value.5. Money is bad/the root of all evil.People with this belief conflate social problems with the fact thatwe live in a capitalistic society. They find virtuousness, if not righteousness, in living without a lot of material possessions, and arevery successful at finding evil rich people to vilify. Their negativeopinion of money leads to destructive financial behavior.These are just some of the Money Operating SystemsTM I’ve seenand discovered in my work with clients.I work with clients to identify their money beliefs so that they canremove money blocks and finally build wealth and create financialsuccess for themselves. It’s very common these days to talk aboutthe emotions of money, but that conversation is not complete without understanding the power of the Money Operating System .Your own Money Operating System might be something different. Whatever it is, the core of it will be in very basic languagebecause you created it as a belief you could understand whenyou were a child. You may have something very sophisticatedsounding that you say to yourself or other people NOW, but that’salways on top of something pretty elementary.THE WORLD OF THE MONEYOPERATING SYSTEM Your brilliant mind is very effective at not only gathering evidencefor what it believes, but at creating situations that reinforce it. Soyou’ll have complex patterns of behavior and dialogue that keepthese situations in place. A network of behavior that producesresults that reinforce your belief.It’s a belief and your belief created the system.When you commit to the Mind Over Money Journey, and can movepast the limitations of your belief system, you learn to act strategically and heed the lessons of your own psychology.HILARY HENDERSCHOTTFINANCIAL9
place of a history of daily thoughts, feelings and rituals that, untilnow, just seemed like how things had to be.You learn behavior modification.Then, with good planning and execution, you can experience themiracle of compound interest working with your actual regularsavings plan—and, no matter the number you need, it works tohelp you achieve your financial goals.Most people I meet would love to shift or change their experienceof money in some way. Most commonly, people find they’d like tobring in more money or just keep more of the money they’re bringing in.Sometimes the shift around money that would make the mostdifference is emotional—finding courage, healing old wounds,accepting the challenge to become economically independent,experiencing being worthy of wealth.Whatever your call to greatness, this guide is a critical componentto understanding the YOU that created your current financial condition, and establishing the YOU that will eventually prevail.True transformation is enabled by mastering the Money OperatingSystem distinction, and the remainder of this document containsworksheets and exercises that will have you reveal to yourselfwhat was previously hidden.Discovering your own money systems will give you tremendousinsight and help you see an entire world of new possibilities in theONLY ACTIONS MATTERI cannot overstress the importance of taking new actions to alteryour financial reality. If you simply read this guide and put it away,without doing the exercises and without taking new action in yourlife, your financial realities will continue, unaltered.The insights you’ve gained and will gain from this guide will notcause you to feel confidence enough to raise your prices or ask fora raise. New thoughts will not bring comfort where there is suffering or peace where there is regret. Only new actions will bring newthoughts and feelings. You must act, often in the face of, or despitea lack of inspiration.In the first few months and maybe even the first year of my ownfinancial turnaround, I felt no inspiration. No new energy fuelingmy new behaviors. It often felt like drudgery. There was only adecision that I was never going back to that place, and a knowingof the actions it would take to get there. I lived in that decision.And then, one day I woke up and the debt was gone. Soon, retirement savings was rebuilt. Now, I own a woman-centric businessworth more than a million dollars and growing. True financial fitness and financial freedom!HILARY HENDERSCHOTTFINANCIAL10
My current financial realities are a world away from where theywere. My thoughts and feelings have followed suit: I experienceconfidence, freedom and joy—but I needed to produce a history ofnew actions to generate the new thoughts and feelings.Remember, these exercises are for you. Answering them as honestly as you can will help you to gain the truest perspective onwhere you are now, so you can begin making real progress towardthe financial future you deserve.The choice is yours, but if you are interested in a financialtransformation, take new actions today.After you’ve completed the exercises, save them to a file on yourcomputer labeled “My Money OS”.“Excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of highintention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution; it representsthe wise choice of many alternatives – choice, not chance,determines your destiny.” AristotleAnd if you want ongoing insights and new training opportunities,by all means, subscribe to my podcast on iTunes.“A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken anew action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.” Tony RobbinsThe following exercises are designed to help you take the smallactions necessary to cement your decision to change your financialdestiny.You don’t need to do all the exercises at once, but I highly recommend setting aside an uninterrupted block of time to go throughthem. In some cases you’ll want to think through your answers. Inother parts of the exercises, you’ll want to be very spontaneousand respond with the first thing that pops into your head.HILARY HENDERSCHOTTFINANCIAL11
MONEY OPERATING SYSTEMTM EXERCISESWhat are your formative or first memories of money?How was money talked about and handled in your family as you were growing up?HILARY HENDERSCHOTTFINANCIAL12
What was your parents’ attitude toward money?What have you done with your own money as a way to either mirro
MIND OVER MONEY: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Financial Future By Hilary Hendershott, MBA, CFP. I’ve been a financial guide and advisor for women for more than 15 years now. In that role, I have the privilege of knowing the inner
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