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January/February 2021The AgriculturalEDUCATIONMAGAZINVolume 93Issue 4EMaintaining the Fence:Establishing and Reclaiming Your Boundaries

EDITOR COMMENTSBoundaries? We Don’t Need No Sticking Boundaries. Or Do We?Aby: Gaea Hocks we begin a new year,we are often encouraged(or pressured) to makea New Year’s resolution. Eachyear I think about what resolutionI will make and then I getdistracted and never set one. Thisyear, I am going to make one:setting boundaries.When I started teaching, I was asingle female living three hoursfrom where I grew up. I spentmost of my free time at schoolpreparing lessons, making copies,working ballgames, chaperoningdances, and other random schoolduties. I didn’t mind the hours Ispent at the school, but I didn’thave others relying on me athome.Times have changed! I nowhave a husband and two kids. Iam not able to be as engaged oncampus as I was B.C. (beforechildren). Instead I look forwardto the time I am home with myfamily. I am grateful to work in avery supportive department withcolleagues who help remind meof the importance of boundaries.We all have children and spousesJasper attending a Zoom meeting.2who need us to be present andavailable when situations arise.We are able to help each otherwhen necessary and remind eachother what is really important. Mycolleagues hold me accountablefor all aspects of my life.As we begin another year, livingthrough a global pandemic, I amcertain many of us had to take astep back from the “normal” andevaluate our work-life balance. Iknow the pandemic encouraged(or forced) me to assess mypriorities and refocus on whatwas most important to me. Theneed to establish and maintainboundaries to protect our mentaland physical health became veryapparent as the months passed.For me, I appreciate the term“work-life harmony.” There aredays in which I have to takemy children to work with meor hold them during a Zoommeeting. I stopped feeling guiltyabout missing out on workopportunities and instead focusedon enjoying the extra time I hadwith my children.As we look forward to when wecan return to “normal” we shouldalso consider what boundarieswe will continue to uphold andwhich we will establish. Theauthors in this issue articulatewhy we should establish andcommunicate our boundaries.They share their own personalexperiences in the classroomand how they have establishedboundaries to help them succeed.I hope the articles containedin this issue will help youevaluate your own boundaries,Corabel being entertained by mycolleague, Dr. Brandie Disberger.determine which need to berepaired or built, and how youwill communicate them to others.As it turns out, we do needboundaries to help us live a fulland rewarding life.Dr. Gaea Hock is a wife, mother,professor, and agriculturalistteaching at her alma mater,Kansas State University. Sheresides in rural DickinsonCounty, KS with her husband andtwo children.The Agricultural Education Magazine

CONTENTSMaintaining the Fence: Establishing andReclaiming Your BoundariesEditor Comments:Boundaries?We Don’t Need No Stinking Boundaries. Or Do We?.2by Gaea HockTheme Editor Comments:Lessons from the Giving Tree .4by Becky HaddadTheme Articles:A Letter to the Profession.5by Haley TrainiBalance in the Busyness.6by Roobie RichardsThe Boundaries that Weren’t.10by Bibiana GifftAn Early Introduction.12by Amber Rice and Quint MolinaPrioritizing Boundaries.15by Hannah WedgerThe How’s and Why’s of Building a Fence.19by JoAnn PfeifferAvoiding the Burn.21by Jay Solomoson and Trent WellsBook Review:Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend .23by Kayla LoewenhagenReady to Learn More.21by Becky Haddad and Haley TrainiDistributionBeginning with Volume 93, Issue 1,(July/August 2020), The AgriculturalEducation Magazine will be availablein electronic format only, free to all,accessed through the website of theNational Association of AgriculturalEducators at http://www.naee.org/profdevelopment/magazine. Allavailable back issues of the magazinesare archived at this web address, alsofree to all.Business ManagerDr. Jay Jackman, 2525 HarrodsburgRoad, Suite 200, Lexington, Kentucky40504-3358. E-mail: JJackman.NAAE@uky.edu.Article SubmissionArticles and photographs should besubmitted to the Editor or Theme Editor. Items to be considered for publication should be submitted at least 90days prior to the publication date ofthe intended issue. All submissionswill be acknowledged by the ThemeEditor and/or the Editor. No itemsare returned unless accompanied by awritten request. Articles should be approximately four double spaced pagesin length (1500 words). Informationabout the author(s) should be includedat the end of the article. Photos and/ordrawings appropriate for the “theme issue” are welcomed. Photos/drawingsshould be submitted in an electronicformat (jpg or tiff format preferred –minimum 300 dpi). Do not imbed photos/drawings in the Word document. Arecent photograph (jpg or tiff formatpreferred– minimum 300 dpi) of allauthors should accompany the articleunless photographs are on file with theEditor. Articles in the Magazine maybe reproduced without permission butshould be acknowledged.EditorDr. Gaea Hock, Associate Professor,Agricultural Education, Kansas StateUniversity, 315 Umberger Hall,Manhattan, Kansas 66506, Phone (785)532-1166, FAX: (785) 532-5633.E-mail: ghock@ksu.eduPublication InformationThe Agricultural Education Magazine(ISSN 0732-4677), published bimonthly, is the professional journal ofagricultural education. The journal ispublished by The Agricultural EducationMagazine, Inc. at 2525 HarrodsburgRoad, Suite 200, Lexington, Kentucky40504-3358.Front and Back Cover Photos Courtesy of Becky HaddadJanuary-February 20213

THEME EDITOR COMMENTSLessons from the Giving Treeby: Becky Haddad“nd the tree was happy.but not really.”consensus is the book is about the boy’sselfishness, and the tree’s selfless giving.Throughout the book, the boy was selfish.And for most of the book, the tree washappy. Until she wasn’t.We probably know the story--in fact, The Giving Tree by ShelSilverstein is one of my husband’s favorite books from hischildhood. Shel Silverstein was one of my favorite childhoodauthors too. I recently came across an insert for this book thatfocused on the tree setting boundaries. The tree said, “no,”and told the boy to find his own way. Of course, The GivingTree fans will tell you that isn’t the message of the story.Shel Silverstein didn’t really do interviews, but the generalHow often do we see The Giving Treeplay out in our own lives? We’re happy togive, until we’re not. We give our studentsour time, our talent, sometimes even ourfamilies, and we find joy in these things.One of the most beautiful things about ateaching career is how much of ourselveswe have the opportunity to share withA4The Agricultural Education Magazine

our students. Barnes and Noble offered tenlessons from The Giving Tree, and among myfavorite are these three: Focus more on what you need thanwhat you want Just be there Let love ruleThroughout the story, the boy focuses onwhat he wants: money, a house, a boat, aquiet place to rest. And for most of the story,the tree gives what she has, even if shedoesn’t have what the boy wants. In doingso, she loses what she needs--her leaves forphotosynthesis, her limbs to provide shade,and even the trunk that sets her apart as atree. In return, the boy doesn’t really get whathe needs. A temporary want is fulfilled, butthe deeper need remains unsatisfied untilthe tree is almost gone. Neither in this storytruly focuses on what they need, but whatthey want: The tree wants to make the boyhappy, but loses herself in the process. Theboy wants material things, and ends up nearlylosing the tree.for others had she saved some of herself. But she wasn’tconcerned about others. She was concerned about the boy.“She loved the boy, even more than she loved herself.”For most of us though, we don’t have just one “boy” inour lives. “Loving” doesn’t have to mean completelylosing yourself, but no one else can define what love willlook like from you. And that, my friends, is why it is soimportant to communicate how you’re able to share yourlove. That, in essence, is the definition of a boundary.What can be a tale of self-sacrifice and selfishness orgenerosity and love, likely depends heavily on your ownexperience with boundaries. I recently heard a speaker inmy class say, “Being generous means you have somethingto give.” It is my sincere hope that you find these pagesfull of stories and advice that connect you to the generosityfound in setting, maintaining, and owning the professionalfence that is your boundaries. I desire nothing more foryou than to communicate your boundaries in ways thatallow you to give of yourself generously without runningout. I hope you can reclaim your boundaries in fulfillingways that lead to your ability to provide personal andprofessional shade to others. Dear tree, it’s okay to say“no” so you can own your “yes.”But that isn’t the only lesson in this story.The tree was there for the boy. There couldn’tbe a more fitting analogy for a teacherand their students. We want to be there forour students. We might even consider itinappropriate to expect something in return.We are overjoyed when that one studentsends a note of thanks or stops by our roomyears later. And often, that little momentis what powers us through until the next.It doesn’t make it less wonderful when astudent comes back. In many ways, that iswhat the relationship is supposed to be.Even as a stump, the tree loved the boy. Andthe tree could have continued to be thereBecky Haddad is a wife, mom of two, learner, andteacher educator currently serving as a Lecturer atthe University of Minnesota.January-February 20215

THEME ARTICLEby: Haley TrainiDear Reader,I’m writing thisletter as a formerhigh school agricultureteacher, now agricultureand leadership educationresearcher who recentlybegan researching the waysagriculture teachers interactwith boundaries in theirwork. I’m here to sharemy experiences, researchfindings, and perspectives,not because I am an expert,but because it’s somethingI have the privilege to thinkabout regularly for my work.Through this work, mycolleagues and I have made6A Letter to the Professionan important discovery. Are you readyfor it? Here it goes Our profession hasa boundary problem. (Pause for effect)Before we unpack this, I want to sharehow I think about boundaries and my ownstruggles with boundaries in my work soyou can see where I’m coming from. Isee boundaries as limits defining you in arelationship with someone or something.Boundaries identify when your job startsand when it stops. Examples of boundariesin the workplace include statements suchas, “I will not bring work home with me,”“I will not check email on the weekends,”or “I have the right to think about a requestfor 24 hours before I give a response.”Boundaries protect your time, energy,emotions, and well-being. In other words,boundaries are good! Unfortunately,reclaiming boundaries can be challenging.In fact, I’ve had a recent runin with boundaries myself This summer, I took a twoweek vacation. It was a failure.During these two weeks, Imanaged to participate in13 hours of Zoom meetings,send 78 emails, start two newresearch projects, and plana one-day teacher trainingworkshop. Did I get a lotaccomplished during these twoweeks? You bet. Do I regretworking during my vacation?Absolutely. I had a two-weekopportunity to spend all daywith my baby, relax, go forwalks, read books, or catchup on TV shows. Instead,I worked. And I’ll neverget that time back. So whydid I choose to work whenI had a valid reason to stepaway? Because I strugglewith boundaries. I have adifficult time saying “no,”especially when the “yes”is work that brings joy andpurpose to my life. Can youresonate? My recent run-inwith boundaries didn’t come asa surprise. As I reflect on mytime in secondary education,boundaries were practicallynonexistent. I took work homewith me, spent several hours atschool on Sundays preparingfor the next week’s lessons,answered student texts andemails at all hours, sacrificeda social life, hobbies, andhealthy habits for work, andconstantly said “yes” to thingsI didn’t want to say “yes” to.My lack of boundaries wasThe Agricultural Education Magazine

innocent at first and, as a newteacher, I thought of it as normal.In many ways it was normal.Everyone else was workingat the same grueling pace andthe messages I received (bothexplicitly and implicitly) fromleaders in the profession told methey didn’t have a problem withmy lack of boundaries. If whatwe as Ag teachers did was inthe name of student success orstudent opportunity, it was worthit and it was our job to provideit. Boundaries, be darned. As Itransitioned from secondary topostsecondary education, I usedmy struggles as a high schoolagriculture teacher to propel myresearch. I wanted to know: WasI the only one who struggled?Was I the only one who felt likethe only way to be a “successful”Ag teacher was to win awardsand be recognized at the stateand national level? Was I the onlyone who felt like saying “no”was not an option? Did I haveto invest my entire identity intomy job if I wanted to be “good?”The findings of my researchrevealed that many other Agteachers across the country askedthemselves these same questionsand were encountering similarchallenges. While sharing theseresults aren’t the purposeof this letter, I can tell youthat boundaries come uptime and time again. Ok,back to the discovery: Ourprofession has a boundaryproblem. Agricultureteachers we’ve spoken toacross the country encounterboundary challenges on adaily basis. They expressedfeeling overworked,smothered, annoyed, resentful,disrespected, underappreciated,guilty, and shameful when theirboundaries were crossed. They feltthese emotions most poignantlyin three ways, 1) when perceivedexpectations are imposed uponthem, 2) when their personal timeis impeded due to various workrelated obligations and, 3) whenvarious individuals (e.g., parents,students, administrators) expectunreciprocated commitment. Hereare a few things participants sharedwhen we asked about times whenthey felt their boundaries werecrossed: “When ASB comes to me andexpects to use the shop for thisor that or for me to drop whatI’m doing to help them” “When I can’t attend a familydinner because I have a schoolmeeting” “When Ihave to takemy daughterto anotherbabysitter orgrandparentsafter pickingher up frombabysitter soI can attendmeetings/Ag teachers haveconnected the need for creatingboundaries to their likelihoodof staying in the profession.January-February 2021Boundariescan be (re)learned,(re)established,and (re)claimed.contests/school functions” “When I can’t focus on teachingbecause of a to-do list” “When I went out of my way andbarely get a thank you”These examples are not simplystatements about run-ins withboundaries. They are tied to intenseemotions and result in negative wellbeing. The Ag teachers in our researchinteracted with blurred boundariesor a lack of defined limits or boundsin their work. In other words, Agteachers didn’t know when their jobstarted and when it stopped. And, likemy experience, reclaiming boundarieswas discussed not as a simple choice,but one filled with angst. This isbecause the history, norms, culture,and various players in the gameexpect you to have no boundariesat all. What’s perhaps the mostinsightful finding of our research andconversation with Ag teachers is thatthey are connecting boundary creationand reclamation to longevity in theprofession. I’ll repeat that.Learning this pushed me and acolleague (who happens to be thetheme editor of this issue) to startconversations across the countryabout how we can reclaim boundariesas Ag teachers amidst a system thatcelebrates a lack of boundaries. Westarted these conversations because7

there is good news! Ag teachers(and all professionals) can takeactive steps to identify instancesof their boundaries being crossed,then implement strategiesto mitigate those boundaryencounters. While you will hear allabout this in the other articles ofthis issue, here are a few strategiesthat help me work throughboundary encounters:1) The Tomorrow Test: If youreceive a request (e.g. siton the school technologycommittee, start a chapterInstagram), ask yourself, “Ifthis event or activity wereto occur tomorrow (or in aweek from now), would Isay ‘yes?’” If the answer is“no,” decline the request.This test avoids the pitfallof thinking you’ll be lessbusy in the future than youare right now.2) A Book with ManyChapters: Conceptualizeyour career as a book withmany chapters. What arethose chapters? As a newteacher, chapters one andtwo might be focused onclassroom instruction. Laterchapters might be aboutstarting new programs inyour school or leadingchange at the state level.The goal is to use thisto guide your decisionmaking. Do you need to bemaking big changes to yourFFA program during yourfirst few years or when yourkiddos are young? Probablynot. Outline your careerchapters and use them8to guide your decisionmaking.3) Opportunity Cost:Opportunity cost is theloss of potential gain fromother alternatives when onealternative is chosen. Inother words, if you chooseX, what are you givingup had you chosen Y? Ifyou choose to scheduleanother FFA meetingon a weeknight, youropportunity costs might bedinner with your family,a fitness class at the gym,or a night of self-care. Areyou OK with giving upthose alternatives? If theanswer is “no,” perhaps aweeknight meeting shouldbe reconsidered.While these strategies may appearsimple, they aren’t always easy toemploy. And if you ask me, “no”may be one of the most difficultwords to say. But I can tell youfrom personal experience andfrom the research that reclaimingboundaries is imperative if we (asindividuals and a profession), wantto stick around for the long haul.Haley Traini is a wife, mother, communityvolunteer, teacher, researcher, andAssistant Professor in the Department ofAgricultural Education and AgriculturalSciences at Oregon State University.The Agricultural Education Magazine

THEME ARTICLEBalance in the Busynessby:Roobie RichardsDear 2019-me,Do you rememberstarting that visionboard? The word you chose tofocus on was “balance.” Man,mama, you were on a mission.2020 was going to be your yearto finally strike that elusive agteacher balance. As 2020 quicklyapproached you took on themission to find balance in all thebusyness. There were so manymoments that led up to the needto focus on “balance.”Remember when your husbandshared that exciting news of hisbest friend getting married? Hewas so excited when he toldyou it would be in Brazil. Yourheart sank from excitement tonervousness when he told you thedates. The weekend of the countyfair. Please any weekend butthat weekend. Do you rememberhow confused and disappointedhe looked when you couldn’trespond enthusiastically? Youfelt pulled, hard, in so manydirections but you promised tomake it work. You needed tomake it work.of those sessions as you could.And to your own validation, theywere packed full of agricultureteachers who, just like you, werecraving and seeking that allelusive balance.The new year meant time to putyour focus word into action:“balance.” The 2019-you turnedinto 2020-you. Do you rememberFebruary? A crazy time wheneverything s

losing yourself, but no one else can define what love will look like from you. And that, my friends, is why it is so important to communicate how you’re able to share your love. That, in essence, is the definition of a boundary. What can be a tale of self-sacrifice and selfishness or generosity and love, likely depends heavily on your own

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