This Is An Example Of A Student’s NAPLAN Persuasive Essay .

3y ago
31 Views
2 Downloads
3.41 MB
9 Pages
Last View : 1m ago
Last Download : 3m ago
Upload by : Abby Duckworth
Transcription

This is an example of a student’s NAPLANPersuasive Essay response to the topic:“It is cruel to keep animals in cages at zoos. ”The marks and comments for this essay havebeen attached after the essay. The matching‘level’ (high, medium or low) in our NAPLANrubric has also been added in.Read through the student’s essay response, andthen compare it to the feedback.Can you see where the essay has gained/lostmarks?Do you agree with the examiner’s comments?Can you see any ideas/techniques that youwould like to use (or avoid)?

zoos can have useful purposes70

zoos can have useful purposes71

zoos can have useful purposes72

HighHighHighHighHighHighMediumHighHighHigh/Medium

Here is another example of a student’sNAPLAN Persuasive Essay response to thetopic:“It is cruel to keep animals in cages at zoos. ”Marks have NOT been included for this essay.You will need to grade it!A copy of our NAPLAN Assessment Rubricfollows the essay. It will explain what is neededat each level. You will need to read it carefully.Use this rubric to mark the essay, giving it ahigh, medium or low in each criteria.Be prepared to justify your marks!

NAPLAN Persuasive Writing Assessment Rubric1CRITERIAAudienceDESCRIPTIONThe writer’s capacity to orient,engage and persuade the reader.2Text Structure3IdeasThe organisation of the structuralcomponents of a persuasive text(introduction, body and conclusion)into an appropriate and effectivetext structure.The selection, relevance andelaboration of ideas for apersuasive argument.4PersuasiveDevicesThe use of a range of persuasivedevices to enhance the writer’sposition and persuade the reader.5Vocabulary6Cohesion7ParagraphingThe range and precision ofcontextually appropriate languagechoices.The control of multiple ideas andrelationships across the text,achieved through the use ofreferring words, ellipsis, connectingwords, substitutions and wordassociations.The splitting of text intoparagraphs that assists the readerto follow the line of argument.8SentenceStructureThe production of grammaticallycorrect, structurally sound andmeaningful sentences.9Punctuation10SpellingThe use of correct and appropriatepunctuation to aid the reading ofthe text.The accuracy of spelling and thedifficulty of the words used.HIGHMEDIUMLanguage is used effectively to explainthings to the reader, persuade them, andmake them interested in the topic.Tries to show the reader what isimportant. Begins to use language topersuade the reader and make theminterested.There are AT LEAST two clear parts of thestructure (e.g. a clear introduction andbody, but no conclusion or a veryunderdeveloped conclusion).Text is either short and understandable,or longer but difficult to understand.Explains some things to the reader.There are several ideas, which have someelaboration (explained, linked back toargument, etc).There is only one idea with simpleelaboration, or there are a few relatedideas which are not expanded upon.AT LEAST two persuasive devices havebeen used a combined total of at leastthree times. The devices are usedproperly.Words used are precise, although somemay be inaccurate (Example: “my idea of aperfect zoo is ”)The meaning is clear and the text flows.Synonyms are used to avoid repetition.More complex connecting words are used(Example: however, although, therefore,additionally, instead, even though, finally).Just provides a personal opinion, and atthe most one or two types of persuasivedevices. May appear confused orcontradictory.Very simple words are used and simplecomparisons are made. (Example:“animals will feel sad”).Some links between sentences. Simpleconnecting words are used (Example: and,if, so, when, because, then, but)Writing is organised into paragraphs, witheach paragraph focussed on one idea or aset of closely linked ideas. At least twobody paragraphs, intro and conclusionStudent uses complex sentences (usuallywith words like: because, since, after,although, when, that, who, which)There are no paragraphs or paragraphsare used incorrectly (e.g. too many ideas,introduction and body paragraphsmerged, etc).Meaning is usually clear, but sentencesare simple (example: “some students liketo study in the morning”), or a pair ofsimple sentences joined together (withwords like: and, so, for)Capitals and full stops are used correctly.Other punctuation is not used or usedincorrectly.Most simple words are used and speltcorrectly, with errors in other words.There is a good structure, with anintroduction (with a clear contention),body (with reasons and supportingdetails/evidence), and conclusion (whichreinforces the reader’s point).There are several well elaborated ideas(e.g. issues for/against position,explaining cause/effect, attack otherarguments)A range of persuasive devices (more thantwo) are used throughout the essay in aneffective manner.A range of precise and effective wordsare used. (Example: “if humans can havea voice then why can’t animals?”)A fairly long piece of writing that flowsand ties together well. The ideas flowcontinuously throughout the piece.Paragraphs are used correctly and areorganised to effectively support theargument (the argument builds betweenparagraphs and throughout the essay)Sentence structure is correct andeffective (very few errors). Meaning isclear, precise. There is variety in thesentences (length, elaboration, use ofclauses, use of verbs and adjectives, etc)A wide variety of punctuation is usedaccurately and effectively to control howa person reads the text (e.g. for pauses)Correct spelling or all words and difficult/challenging words are used correctly.At least two of the following are usedcorrectly: apostrophes, commas,quotation marks, brackets, colons.Simple and common words are speltcorrectly, and difficult words are used.LOWThere is only one part of the structure(e.g. a body, without an introduction orconclusion), or there is no structure (e.g.just a list of statements/beliefs)

If humans can have a voice why can’t animals66

If humans can have a voice why can’t animals67

NAPLAN Persuasive Writing Assessment Rubric CRITERIA DESCRIPTION HIGH MEDIUM LOW 1 Audience The writer’s capacity to orient, engage and persuade the reader. important. Begins to use language to Language is used effectively to explain things to the reader, persuade them, and make them interested in the topic. Tries to show the reader what is

Related Documents:

In the 26 years since 有iley publìshed Organic 1于ze Disconnection Approach 色y Stuart Warren,由自approach to the learning of synthesis has become while the book Ìtself is now dated in content and appearance' In 唱Tiley published Organic and Control by Paul Wyatt and Stuart 轧Tarren. Thís muc如柱。okís as a

Aug 16, 2017 · Factoring out GCF and by Grouping[In Class Version][Algebra 1].notebook 1 September 17, 2017 Sep 17 4:14 PM Homework Assignment The following examples have to be copied for next class Example 1 Example 2 Example 3 Example 4 Example 5 Example 6 Example 10 Example 12 Example 9

Table 2. Wiring terminal references for non-Excel 10/12 devices signal T7460A terminal T7460B terminal T7460C terminal Excel 800 XF82x terminal (example) Excel 500 XF52xB terminal (example) Excel 500 XFL52x terminal (example) Excel 100 terminal (example) Excel 50 terminal (example) Excel 20 terminal (example) CPO-FB22344R terminal (example)

Example 4.5 Present Worth of a Sugar Mill 61 Example 4.6 Invest in Gold or Stock Market 62 Example 4.7 Electric/Gas Hybrid Vehicle 63 Example 4.8 Effect of Inflation on PW 64 Example 4.9 Life-Cycle Cost Analysis of HVAC Systems 65 Example 4.10 Municipal Garbage Collection Truck 66 Example 4.11 Hexane Extrac

Paragraph adapted from John Langan’s Exploring Writing: Sentences and Paragraphs, 2E. first major idea example additional example example additional example second major idea example third major idea additional example additio

Daily Schedule Template . Daily Schedule Example . Daily Schedule Example Using Stickie Notes . Morning Meeting Checklist Example . Guided Reading Time Checklist Example . Math Time Checklist Example . Monthly Schedule Template . Monthly Schedule Example . College Weekly Schedule Template

2.6 Example of Ishikawa diagram 15 2.7 Example of histogram 16 2.8 Example of scatter diagram 16 2.9 Example of Pareto diagram 17 2.10 Example of control chart 18 2.11 Example of flow chart 18 2.12 Method of implementation of TPM Source: Ahmed et al. (2004) 19 3.1 Overall thesis flow 22 3.2 Gantt c

Calendar Example 3 - Compile a Single Calendar 21 Calendar Example 4 - Compile All Calendars 22 Calendar Example 5 - Create a List Calendar 22 Calendar Example 6 - Create a Group Calendar 23 Calendar Example 7 - Create a Daily Calendar with Details and a Condition 24 Calendar Example 8 - Delete a Detail in a Calendar 24 Calendar .