1Don't buy your computer from any one else- at least until you see what we have for you during thisyear's back-to-school!lBe one of the first 350Apple customers topurchase these specialBack-To-School Bundlesand get a free Apple Tshirt. See the Macintoshprice list for more details.StyleWriter IIB1434MIT 280Personal LaserWriter300B1435MIT 560Color Classic/80B1427MIT 1020ThinkPad 350/1252618-JOAMIT 1880LCIII/80B1428ThinkPad 350/2502618-LOAMIT 2430LCIII/160B1429MIT 1460Centris 610/80B1430MIT 1595Centris 610/230B1436MIT 2360ThinkPad 720/1209552-307MIT 3085ThinkPad 720/1609552-308MIT 3245ThinkPad 720C/1609552-30JMIT 4540Value Bundle4MB RAM/120MB hard diskMIT 1215Value Bundle 24MB RAM/230MB hard diskMIT 1900Performance Bundle 14MB RAM/170MB hard diskMIT 1740Performance Bundle 28MB RAM/230 hard diskMIT 2555Power Bundle 18MB RAM/230MB hard diskMIT 2935Apple, Dell, HewlettPackard and IBM alloffer a wide-variety ofproducts andconfigurations not listedhere. Stop by the MCCand pick up a price list,call us or send email ifyou'd like moreinformationlWe also carry Athenaworkstations, DECworkstations, GCC andiOMEGA peripherals,Radius monitors,r-squared peripherals,and Sun workstations.Power Bundle 216MB RAM/450MB hard diskMIT 3260Centris 650/230B1431MultiMedia Bundle 14MB RAM/170 hard diskMIT 2660MIT 2800PowerBook 145B/80B1433MIT 1370PowerBook Duo 230/120B1432MIT 2480DeskJet 500HP-C2106AMIT 370LaserJet lIP PlusHP-C2007AMIT 790.4MultiMedia Bundle 28MB RAM/320MB hard diskMIT 3535IMIT Computer ConnectionStudent Center, W20-021617-253-7686 email@example.com MITlnformation Systems
- VooDoo Magazine, Fall '93In "Back to School" Voo DooI)T4lLetters to the Editor - page 5Our readers take the mighty pen to paper.A Life Specially Engineered to Have No Regrets - page 7Mechanical waterfowl and more from Cherry Ogata.King Muffler and the Golden Touch - page 8"DON'T TOUCH THAT!" humorfrom Hani Sallum.TRomance in the 21st Century - page 12Jim Bredt continues hisfuturisticlove-fest.A Life Specially Engineered to Have No Regrets - page 19More existentialfunfrom Cherry.How the Nubile Young Nymph played Strip Poker withof Penguins from Antarctica in the Caverns of Mount Kilomonjaro Uh, yeah.The Deep Dark Secrets of M.I.T. - page 22Things you didn't know broughtto you by Jennie L6pez.One Night, Part III - page 24James Fleming'sdrug-demented hero apparently has afashback.The Snapdragon Chronicles - page 27A new featurefrom Henry Chiu.Von Nostrilman's Compromise The fiutur rfVn-DanhumrfromFlppage 35ordIrAnVooDoo's Horoscope - page 38The skeptical should inquire with our residentpsychic, Raluca Barbulescu.Raging Dave - page 42Hey, Ifound it tacked to my door. You tell me!Cartoon Guide to the SuperCollider - page 45A fun treatmentof a serious topic thataffects the future of useb-3-A page 20
VooDoo Magazine, Fall '93FROM THE PUBLISHERPublisherPhosphorousEditor-in-ChiefKent LundbergBusiness ManagerByron DavisCover ArtistJennie L6pezStaffLarry ApplemanRaluca BarbulescuHoyt BleakleyBrian BradleyJim BredtGary L. DryfoosJames FlemingKatarina L6pezCourtney MoriartaCherry OgataStaff EmeritusWilliam B. Elmer '22Volume 75, Number 1ContributorsAlan BlountWan-Ying CheeHenry ChiuAdam DershowitzJohn DzenitisPR GoldstoneMark HurstSteve HwangDave JordanHani SallumLuke SullivanBenson WenCeleste WinantRaging DaveVooDoo, MIT Journal of Humour,VooDoo MagazineMIT Room 50-30977 Massachusetts AvenueCambridge, MA 02139(617) 253-4575voodooemit. edu(ISSN 1066-2499) is publishedquarterly in September, November/December, February and April/May by PhosphorousPublishing. All material 1993 VooDoo Magazine and individual authors. Single copyprice 3, four issue mail subscription 10. Submissions accepted from any past-orpresent MIT affiliate. Advertisers: call for rates, page sizes and production deadlines.Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is coincidence.Special thanks to the UA FinBoard for financial support. Printed at Chuck River.Sick Humor?bteless Jokes?rou need Funny Pages!e sick hmunor nwslttr.)Here's what the critincs .snvJoe Bob Brggs (of 'Movie Channel' tame, bad taste aficionado):'Youpublish the lthiest. most dbgusting, worthless. scummypubication I've ever read. Iloved it.' FunnyPages isguaranteedto grossout your sister.'Gdrery Magazne:'John Cleese once said that if Monty Python wasn't offendingsomeone, It was doing something wrong. At least by that standardFunny Pages isdoing something rlight. An equal-opportunityoffender. ".sick jokes galore.'USA TODAY:'It you want the latest sick jokes to share with your riends at workor at parties. thisisthe inefor you.'Mike Gunderloy from Factsheet Five (snall press reviewer):·Politlcally incorrect with a vengeance. 'No matter how iberalyouare, you probably won't be able to avoid snickering -then feelingguilty about it.' 'Rude humor.' There should be something in eachissue to offend justabout everyone.''Everhave one of those days where you were sick &tired of beingPotiically Correct and socially acceptable? Well thisis apublication for such times.' 'In short, they make un of everyone.a.YOU can get a sample issue absolutely·FREE!;t send us an S/Or send 15for 12 monthlyissues ( 25 for24 issues)Remlbe: yo cnhtulMnFUNNY PAGESPO BOX 317025)ayton, OH 45437hled a slvhg tariftNext Submission Deadline : November 1, 1993.Dayton Oho-4- ---- U
VooDoo Magazine, Fall '93LETTERS TO VOO DOODear Editor,Since 1984, the Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal (CSICOP)and its journal, the Skeptical Inquirer, have beenappealing to US newspaper editors to run a shortdisclaimer with their horoscope columns. The suggested disclaimer reads "The following astrologicalforecasts should be read for entertainment valueonly. Such predictinos have no reliable basis in scientific fact." Today, at least fifty papers have adoptedsome form of this disclaimer.Scientific investigation has shown repeatedlythat horoscopes and astrological charts areincapable of analyzing personality characteristics,predicting the future, or prediciting compatibility.Researchers have found no correlation between"compatible" and "incompatible" sun signs amongmarried and divorced couples.Moreover, theaccuracy of astrologers in making predictions offuture events has been found to be no better thanwould be expected by chance.Astrology has remained widely controversialin the press as well as among the general public.Many editors claim horoscope columns do noharm and that readers alreadly know they arefor entertainment purposes, especially whensuch columns are placed on the comics pages.Unfortunately, there are many readers who do takethe columns seriously. Our government mandateshealth warnings on cigarette packages becasuescientific evidence has determined that smoking isinjurious to health. Belief in the pseudoscience ofastrology can also be harmful, especially whenpeople base serious decisions on its predictions.We very much hope that you will choose to jointhe fifty newspapers who currently use such a disclaimer with their astrology columns.Sincerely,Paul Kurtz,Chairman, CSICOPConsider it done. Thanks for writing!-5-Dear Phos:I knew you before you became hoity-toityenough to be known as Phosphorous.As a matter of fact, I knew Voo Doo before anyof you were now were born (probably before yourfathers were born). As background, I was BusinessManager for the 1939-1940 volume.We had a more elaborate publication that yousent me. The cover was in color, and slick paper wasthroughout. We also had less trouble recruiting astaff than you apparently have.I won't compare the humor, since times havechanged so much. To show you how they havechanged, we ran a cartoon of a toilet with the seatup, and the caption "scandal at Wellesley". We gotcalled on the carpet by Dean Killian for being sobold.I was greatly disturbed in the 60's when I wastold that VooDoo had been discontinued because itwas "irrelevant". I cannot understand how humanscan consider humor to be irrelevant.In those days we had an office on the secondfloor of the Walker Memorial and shared a secretarywith The Tech. Annually we played The Tech a football game; any former high school football playerswe could find were put on the staff for one issue toplay in the game. I nearly got killed.All in all, we had a good time and, I think, putout a magazine that helped ease some of the tensionthat life at the Institute could generate.Thanks for sending me the magazine.Rowland Peak '40.Kent Thanks for the VooDoos, I'm glad I finally gota chance to see them - I've heard quite a lot aboutyour mag. I enjoyed reading them - you've gotsome funny writers! I was lost on some of the M.I.T.humor - but that is to be expected as I don't go toschool there. (Duh).I liked most of the contents - except for "TheFinal Exam" and "The Cybernetic Kid" - they wereboth truly awful. Sorry. They didn't jive with the
UVooDoo Magazine, Fall '93rest of the mag. I would strongly suggest avoidingprojects like those in the future. Otherwise, youseem to have a lot of talented people at your disposal(especially that J. Lopez person - doesn't she haveanything better to do than draw cartoons?!) It'd begreat to see VooDoo aspire to something beyond justa "College Humor Magazine". It could be done!Thanks again, best of luck,Ryan Michael DunlaveyIf it is critique you are looking for, let meoffer this: more jokes about suicide, the building ofatomic weapons and becoming corporate toadies.And things like that, dark humour is, by far, thefunniest.Well, good luck,DB VelVeedzHi Dear Staph and Editors of VooDoo MagazineThank you for the issue of your humour mag.I'm sure that some of it went over my head asa non-student, but what I "got" I liked for the mostpart.AIDear Kent:Yes, I'm still alive and kicking! Thank you forthe Summer copy of VooDoo which I was delightedto receive. All 48 pages of it represent a big undertaking that only MIT geniuses could produce.At my present age of 92 it was most extremelygratifying to be so remembered for what I did at myold school do long ago. It warms my heart.Very sincerely,William B. Elmer '22Il-lIt's always good to hear from you, Bill! Keep intouch.ICt4./COqZII really enjoyed VooDoo. Good writing andsome funny cartoons.I especially liked the"Manhole Tiddlywinks" story, and the kid who diesafter fucking his unconsious girlfriend.Take care,Mark ZiemannDear Sirs,I wish to object to your never-ending streamof references in your publication to jumping off ofthe Green Building.I, myself, have been on the roof of the GreenBuilding many times and have never onceCoALvTHe must have been dictating.U'D trC-6-11L/
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rVooDoo Magazine, Fall '93King Muffler and the Golden Touchby Hani SallumOnce upon a time, there was a kingdom calledIugoe in the middle of a fantasy land. The kingdom was very large, but all of the boundaries wereblocked by vast ranges of mountains. The kingdomwas self-sufficient, though, so any outside contactwas unnecessary. Everyone in the kingdom was content, and lived happy lives in the peace of equality.The ruler of this kingdom was King Muffler,who was preceded by King Midas. King Muffler wasa kind ruler, and did everything in his power for thegood of his kingdom, and himself. He did this mostlyby increasing the amount of gold in the treasury, hisfavorite hobby. Gold was the main source of wealth,and every ounce found in the kingdom went straightto the treasury.Though there was no outside contact, KingMuffler liked to know what went on outside hiskingdom; in particular, how the other kingdomsand their treasuries stood up to his. So, everymonth, he sent a servant to check out the otherkingdoms.The day came when the servant returned withthe latest news."Ahhh, Sir Mine of Key, what have you to report?" asked the eager King Muffler."I am sorry to say, Your Highness," replied SirMine, "that king Good of Wrench still manages hiskingdom better than you.""Blast!" rasped the king, his eagernessreplaced by distaste."Blast what?" asked Sir Mine."No, you idiot, I'm talking to myself!""Oh." he said, nodding to himself."What? Can't a man even talk to himself in hisown kingdom?""I was just-""TREASURY REPORT!!" screamed King Muffler.The throneroom doors slammed open,inadvertently hitting two guards.Seven menwearing brown, hooded robes trampled over eachother into the room. An eighth member lay in thedoorway, covered with footprints and bleedingslightly to himself.The seven men broke to a halt in front of thethrone. They each unrolled scrolls they had tuckedunder their arms and had miraculously saved fromcertain destruction of stomping during theirentrance. They held the scrolls open."Good King Muffler!!." they all cried in perfectunison, "May we humbly beg that we may ask thatwe be granted the divine honor of carrying out yourroyal orders to report-""Get on with it, you goons!" yelled Muffler."The treasury wishes to report that there hasbeen a thirteen point five - nine - four - six - eight two - four - nine - seven - five - two - five - oh - oh six-""For goodness sake," frothed the king in agitation, "I don't need to know the fine points, just sumit up for me!""There has been an increase." announced thefirst man, now breaking away from unison."Ah, good!" beamed Muffler."In the last three weeks." went the second man."Due to the discovery of a new gold mine." provided the third man."Of roughly fourteen percent in the treasury."finished the fourth man."In the last three weeks." added the fifth man,who had nothing better to say."We worked hard." hinted the sixth man, whohadn't been payed in months."Very hard." said the seventh, who hadn't beenpayed for even longer."Unghh." confirmed the eighth man, still laying in the doorway, who was a rookie and hadn'tbeen payed at all."Excellent! Excellent!!" said the king."Which means," concluded the first man, whohad whipped out a sliderule, "that your kingdom isnow at only a point oh - oh - oh - five - seven to oneratio with king Good's kingdom-""AAAAAAAAAAAUUGGHHH!!!"screamedMuffler. "Don't ever-EVER-mention that name inhere again unless you're making fun of it!!""Y-Y-Y-Y-yes, your majesty." they said, in simultaneous meekness.-8-LU
VooDoo Magazine, Fall '93"Now, you lot, go to the gallows! I'll have missionary Tranz make an appointment. After that, goto the cellar; we need something to plug a leak inthe moat until the plumber from Dray-no arrives.Then, uh., just play tag with some wild horses until I call you.""Yes, your Highness." they said."Make up your minds! 'Your Highness,' 'YourMajesty,' you sound like those incorrigible peasantsfrom the Mart of Kay!""Yes your-" the rest sounded like a jumble ofroyal addresses and swears."Oh, why do I put up with this." he exclaimed,".it's playing havoc with my cholesterol count."You mean your-""Shut up!. you,. you,.""Imbecile?" suggested one of the men."No, no,.""Dummy?" suggested ckl-""Just. just forget it!" screamed Muffler, "Justget out of here! Go!"The seven men rushed out of the throneroomleaving a cloud of dust . The eighth member wasnowhere to be seen. Either he had been picked upas the others left, or had been trampled into thecracks of the floor. Both were plausible."Point oh - oh - oh - five - seven to one." mumbled Muffler, "How can a king with a ditsy namelike 'Good' have such a great kingdom? Sir Mine!""Yes, M'lord?""Next time you come back from Wrench, bringback a native; a small one I can spit on.""Yes, M'lord."Muffler sighed, "How does he do it?""He has so much more gold is his treasury thanyou, Sire," said Sir Mine of Key."Mmmmm. yes, that must be it. Tell youwhat," he said after a few minutes of thought,"next time you return bring that angel-guy orwhatever that granted my predecessor that goldentouch thing. I want to make a deal with him. Treathim well; he may be the answer to our problems."King Muffler waited, and soon the day camewhen Sir Mine of Key would return from afar."Aha! Here he comes now!"Sir Mine entered the throneroom leading twoother people behind him; a native of Wrench, andArch, the semi-tangible sorcerer. Arch stopped momentarily by an older guard by the door and noddedin friendly greeting. The gaurd smiled and noddedback. Muffler was too excited with the arrival ofArch to notice the small exchange or to spit on thelittle Wrenchite.Arch was a young looking man for a sorcerer.Probably because he was immortal. But his face, hiseyes mostly, showed the vast wisdom and experienceinside this ordinary looking man."Ahh, good Arch!" exclaimed the king, "'Tis apleasure to meet you face to face!""Greetings, King Muffler, I am glad we nowhave the chance to meet. Now, you say there issomething I can help you with?""Oh, yes. Here," said Muffler, indicating achair next to him, "sit down and I will explain."Arch sat down, but when he tried to cross hislegs, one leg fell right through the other."Oooooh, this is a nuisance!" he complained.Muffler talked long, and in detail, explaininghow he needed more gold for his kingdom, but dodging the real reason why. He was now only interestedin outdoing King Good in terms of treasuries, not thegood of his kingdom.Finished, he asked: "Well, can you help me?"Arch twisted his face in thought."It's not so much a question of 'can I'." he explained, staring at the ceiling, ". it's more a question of ethics."He thought some more."Alright," he said, finally, "I'll give you one wishthat will make you a better person for your kingdom.Name it."King Muffler did not have to think about it."I want," he said, "to be able to turn everythingI touch with my right index finger," he emphasized,"into gold, Aurrum, whatever.""Okay, then."Arch slapped Muffler on his balding forehead-9-E
V-VooDoo Magazine, Fall '93with the palm of his hand, and disappeared in puffof floating calculus equations.Everything was quiet for a few moments, thenMuffler tapped a nearby guard on the shoulder."Psst, where'd he go?" Muffler asked."Where'd who g- BWWAAAAAAAA!!!"The guard, with a flash of light, froze in placeand fell to the floor, suddenly a statue of gold."Amazing!" cried Muffler."Incredible!" cried Sir Mine of Key."Neat!" cried the small Wrenchite."Aaaahh, that's old hat." said an older guard.Everyone looked at him. "Old Midas used to do better than that in his sleep."Muffler was in an exceptionally good mood.So good, in fact, that he put up with the tediousprologue of the report. The excrement hit the fan,though, when the actual numbers started to comeout."There has been a decrease." said the first man."Ah, good, a. a what?""A ninety-five percent decrease in thetreasury." confirmed the second."A WHAT?!!""A decrease. Overnight." repeated the first."WHY?!!!""Well, it seems," explained the third man,"that you had suddenly amassed so much gold,overnight.""Sixty-six thousand, four hundred and ninetytwo metric decatons, to be approximate," announcedthe fourth.". that the value of gold has plummeted. Decayed. Been massacred. Zinger. Gone.""I think that stunt of turning the entire northfield and Melville Hill into gold was what did it."informed the fifth."Suh-suh-suh-Sir Miiiine." he wailed.'"Yes, my Transformership?""Get Arch down here NOW."Sir Mine of Key began to leave."And have Melville Hill dug up and broughthere as well!" he added after him.The next day, King Muffler had all the peoplein his kingdom send all their useless junk to thepalace, anded all day he turn item after worthlessitem into pure gold, Aurrum, whatever. The people in nearby villages could see a glowing radiancecoming from the royal castle as Muffler created gold,gold, and more gold.Muffler had taken precautions, of course. Hehad prepared himself for this miracle. He had acap made to cover his finger so he would not turneverything he touched into gold.The day after that, he returned to the throneroom as usual and began the orders of the day."TREASURY REPORT!!"The same seven men rushed into the room, andthe same two guards were inadvertently crushedby the opening doors. The rookie made it furtherthan last time, though. This time he made it almost halfway to the throne before he was inevitablytrampled. He was getting the hang of things.·1.'''''''''''''''''''.1I.IT-mi;i cpLcm-r111'''''111''''1'''''llllllllr Muffler made sure his cap was on tight. Hetapped a nearby guard, just to make sure.Arch Entered the throneroom."Oh, thank goodness." breathed Muffler."What can I do now, Muffler? By the way, theShe's a sweetheart, She's apal, HurrahiforKat, the Birthday al!Here's your chance to say:"Happy BirthdayKat!"from:(yur name)dchek one:oa a nodding acquaintancea friendo[ · completeO[ a co-workerstrangerI cut this out and mail to Kat at 125-335, MIT-1 -I---- - -------d1 -m11---m a --1 c--------ct----sout--ct.,I-------e ul -cu--------u---- utm.1 -ot dt-------·-r, .-fil,lU1lll l11UL1"(ne-X, oa- jE-------Vylltu,Ai.-.h.fUULWiilh- .L,tUrt'Ule-.i11111;1II1the middle of it last time I was here?"Muffler dodged the question."Can you alter my wish a slight bit?" askedMuffle, hopefully."Oh, I suppose I could. I admire you more thanI did Midas, I must say. He asked for almost thesame wish and killed one of his family members andalmost himselfl How did he think he could eat ordrink? But you, my boy, you take it all into consideration.""Almost all of it." Muffler muffled."Hmmmm?""Oh. nothing. nothing."I- 10 -b,1,,,.-,IVVUUll--- ---- - -- -- - --
VooDoo Magazine, Fall '93"Well, what can I do?" asked Arch, sitting downnext to Muffler, failing again to cross his legs."I would like everything, that I want to, to turninto a wad of money when I touch it with my rightindex finger. Can you do that?""Aaaaah, that's going to be a little more tricky,you see, because of your thought interaction. Butit shouldn't be impossible. Tell you what; I'll workon the spell, and by. what's today? Monday?. byFriday I can be here with the spell.""Oh, thank you! Thank you!" said Muffler,standing up and shaking Arch's hand vigorously."Now then, young fellow, there's no need to getall excit-BWWAAAAAAAA!!!"Arch keeled over, made of gold.Muffler stared at Arch, then looked at his righthand. The cap had somehow slipped off."Oh no, poor Arch, poor Arch.""Oh, don't fret, your moneiness," said the oldguard, reassuringly, "this has happened before. OldMidas must have done it to Arch at least twice. Justleave him out in the cold, and he'll be fine."It'll take about a month for him to changeback, though.""A month?! I can't wait a month, the citizensare thinking of a revolution!""Here, men," said the guard, ignoring Muffler,"let's take him outside."Four guards grabbed at Arch's gold body, buttheir hands past though him without purchase."Hmmmm." said the guard, "didn't have thatproblem last time. ol' Arch must be getting kindashabby. I guess we'll have to open all the windowsand doors in the castle. Hope you don't mind."Muffler shook his head, oblivious of his loss ofcontrol."TREASURERS!!" yelled Muffler, and wasblinded by the fog created by his own breath.This time, eight men arrived."I did it, guys, I made it!!" cried the rookie."Treasurers," said the King, "I need a plan forgetting a profit on this gold. The last inside reportindicates that people are beginning to request thatjewelry be made of lead, rather than gold now."- 11 -"Ouch!" they all cried in unison."And that the value," continued Muffler, "isjust about even with sheep guts. and we all knowhow unpopular sheep guts are. Any suggestions?"Everyone grimaced."I know," yelled the third treasurer, "makesheep guts more valuable!""Anything else besides brother William's contribution?""Start making all third place awards out ofgold instead of bronze!" said the fifth."Sell it to the airline industry to make theirplanes out of!" said the fourth.They all turned to him."What the Hell are you talking about?"screamed Muffler, "The airline industry hasn'teven been conceived of yet!"The fourth treasurer shrugged sheepishly, "I.I.""I've got it! I've got it!" screamed the rookie,"We'll gather all the gold and store for a month,maybe two. Then when the price of gold goes up,we'll let it back into the market a little at a time!"Muffler's eye's lit up. "You're a genius, boy!""A brainiac!" yelled the others. "Our problemsare solved!""And while we're doing that," added Muffler,"we can bring some of it to the other kingdoms!They're mad for it there!"Before he had finished, Muffler knew he hadfound the best solution possible. With whoops andcheers, the treasurers celebrated the premature victory."This kingdom will be rich!" shouted Muffler,smiling, "We're all going to be rich. just like that!"King Muffler snapped his finger, and the capon his finger flew off.The cap hit the rookie across the nose. Itbounced off various other heads of treasurers. Itricocheted many times from wall to wall of thethroneroom, and finally, hit Muffler in the eye."OW!" he cried.He massaged his wounded eyelid with bothhands.Outside, as the villagers climbed up the hillon which the royal castle stood, carrying pitchforks,hoes, and weed-wackers, they saw, for the last time,a glow emanating from the windows of the castle.
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VooDoo Magazine, Fall '93How the Nubile Young Nymphplayed Strip Poker with aflock of Penguins from Antarcticain the Caverns of Mount Kilomonjaroby Archibald KrantzFit and his brother Calus were on OlympusHighmount in a room with Zeus Quicktemper. Fitwas arguing with Zeus about how Zeus would neverplay with him or Calus. Both Fit and Calus aresons of Ares Warmonger and Daphnid the nympth.Zeus was deeply annnoyed with Fit because he wasalways challenging Zeus to some game or another."Grandson mine," Zeus rumbled at Fit, "eitheryou stop your insane contests with everyone or leaveOlympus for good!""Grandfather Zeus, Thunderer on high, theonly thing I can do is win contests against peopleor gods and grant mortals the power to do thesame! I swear by the Styx that the day I don'tchallenge anyone is the day a flock of well-dressedbirds fly up from the bottom of the Earth and movein with me!"Zeus was displeased by Fit's invocation of theStyx. "You half-god! You villainous cur! You willbe sorry for invoking the Styx in such a carelessmanner! Now leave Olympus and take your lazybrother Calus with you, or suffer the pain of mythunderbolt!" Zeus was mad now, he began fumbling around for his cache of thunderbolts. Frightened, Fit Surewin and his brother Calus left.They took the wonderful steeds that PoseidonEarthshaker had given them for making his favoritetown win a war against the savage Cimmerians.The horses had the power to gallop through the airand water without hindrance. they rode a day and anight until they reached Kilomonjaro, then they letthe horses out to pasture and set up a little homein a cavern. There they stayed for many years.Meanwhile, Daphenis, daughter of Daphnidand her rightful husband Mensor, was praying toAphrodite Fairform. Daphenis had fallen in lovewith Prince Melateis of the house of Pelium.Daphenis was a nubile [of marrying age -ed.]young nymph, but the voluptuous Seduceis alsohad her eye on Melateis. Melateis was as yetundecided so the two girls fought savagely for himby giving him gifts of flowers and gold and bywhispering words of
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