ALL SHE DON'T WANNA SHOW OFF N O MORE JANET READ
THEDROWSYCHAPERONEALLSHE DON'T WANNA SHOW OFF NO MOREJANETNot me!ALLREAD HER NAME IN THE NEWS NO MOREJANETPage three!ALLGET THE GLOWING REVIEWS NO MOREJANETAw, geeI DON'T WANNA SHOW OFFALLSHE DON'T WANNA SHOW OFFJANETI DON'T WANNA SHOW OFFALLSHE DON'T WANNA SHOW OFF NO MOREOFF NO MOREJANETNot me! Weeee!Dance break,A snake is charmed out of a basket KITTY screams,I DON'T WANNA SHOW OFFALLAHHAHH-AHH-AHHAHH-AHH-AHHAHH-AHH-AHHSHE DON'T WANNA SHOW OFF, SHOW OFFDON'T WANNA SHOW OFF NO MOREJANETPLEASE NO MORE ATTENTION-21-
-22-THEDROWSYCHAPERONEALLAH-AHJANETI'VE COUNTED TO TENAND I'M THROUGHALLFarewell!JANETADIEUALLBeen Swell!JANETYOU'LL NEVER SEE THISYOU'LL NEVER SEE THISNEVER SEE THISNEVER SEE THATNEVER SEE THESE AGAINI DON'T WANNA CHANGE KEYS NO MOREI DON'T WANNA STRIPTEASE NO MOREI DON'T WANNA SAY "CHEESE" NO MOREI DON'T CARE IF YOU SCOFFI DON'T WANNA BE CHEERED NO MOREPRAISED NO MOREGRABBED NO MORETOUCHED NO MORELOVED NO MOREI DON'T WANNA SHOW OFFALLSHE DON'T WANNA SHOW OFFJANETI DON'T WANNA SHOW OFFALLSHE DON'T WANNA SHOW OFFJANET V.O.I DON'T WANNA SHOW OFF
THEDROWSYCHAPERONEALLSHE DON'T WANNA SHOW OFFJANETI DON'T WANNA SHOW OFFNO MOREDROWSYDid I miss something?GANGSTER #1Well, Mr. Feldzieg. It is painfully obvious that Miss Van De Graaff has no desire tocontinue a life on the stage.GANGSTER #2Can't you see it's killing her soul?FELDZIEGDon't worry boys. This isn't over yet.KITTYYeah. I ' m surprised She didn't do an encore.Sho wJANETI DON'T WANNA ENCORE NO MOREKEEP 'EM SHOUTIN' FOR MORE NO MOREMAKE THE AUDIENCE ROAR NO MOREI DON'T WANNA SHOW OFFMANThat was Jane Roberts as the bride. She was the Oops Girl. Remember? Surely youremember the Oops Girl? Don't you people read? She was billed as the girl who'ssexual energy was so great that it caused the men around her to have accidents: spilltheir drinks, drive their cars into trees. A n d she would go "Oops" Well, I ' m notreally doing it justice, but people ate it up. She made a whole series of films; "Oops","The Oops Girl", "Oops Girl Come Home", and "Oops Girl at Sea", which won anOscar for special effects.FELDZIEGOkay, begging and groveling didn't work. On to plan B. And for that I am going toneed an accomplice. Someone gullible with loose morals. I need a, what do you call'em, a European.-23-
2THE4 -DROWSYCHAPERONEAldolpho enters.ALDOLPHOLa la la la la la MANIn walks Aldolpho; self proclaimed ladies man. Aldolpho, is played by former silentf i l m start and world-class alcoholic Roman Bartelli. He was the one who later drankhimself to death at his Chateau i n Nice, remember? It was five days before theyfound the body and by that time it had been partially consumed by his poodles?Well, he was only partially consumed.FELDZIEGExcuse me. I don't believe we've met.ALDOLPHOI am Aldolpho.FELDZIEGYou are Aldolpho?ALDOLPHOYes, I am AldolphoFELDZIEGNot, the Aldolpho.ALDOLPHOYes, I am Aldolpho.FELDZIEGFunny, you don't look like a scoundrel.ALDOLPHOYes. What?FELDZIEGWhy, just now I overheard the Groom saying that Aldolpho is a scoundrel. I justheard him say that.ALDOLPHOWhat? Aldolpho a scoundrel!FELDZIEGThose very words.ALDOLPHOAldolpho is a scoundrel!FELDZIEGIt's like I ' m hearing it again.
THEDROWSYCHAPERONEALDOLPHOThis is outrageous! He is saying this to peoples. to beautiful ladies, with breasts formaking love. Why, I must. I must.FELDZIEGYou must, you must take matters into your own hands.ALDOLPHOYes, I must take-a this groom into my hands and kill him!FELDZIEGYes. No. Don't kill him. Just hurt him enough so he can't get married.ALDOLPHOShow me to this groom. Wait.FELDZIEGWhat?ALDOLPHOWhat kind of man is this groom? A big man?FELDZIEGWell.ALDOLPHOA burly fellow?FELDZIEGWell, he's big on the outside—ALDOLPHONo. No. No. Aldolpho w i l l not fight big men—small, pale, wheezy, little dwarfpeople that aldolpho can(mimes swinging a golf club)punt far away. But no big men!FELDZIEGSo, you're a lover not a fighter.ALDOLPHOYes, Aldolpho is a lover of beautiful ladies. Some say I am the King of Romance.FELDZIEGWell, you know what they say, the best way to get revenge on a man is throughhis.?ALDOLPHODoor!-25-
6-THEDROWSYCHAPERONEFELDZIEGNo. The best way to get back at a man is through his.ALDOLPHOWindow!FELDZIEGNo. Revenge, back at a man. through his.ALDOLPHOThrough his, there is no other ways!! I'm not Santa Claus coming down chimney.FELDZIEGThrough his woman!!ALDOLPHOAhh! Through his woman!!FELDZIEGYes Aldolpho! You must seduce his woman!!ALDOLPHOHis woman!FELDZIEGHis bride!ALDOLPHOAldolpho w i l l make love to bride! That w i l l show people Aldolpho is no scoundrel!Show me to this bride! Wait!FELDZIEGWhat?ALDOLPHOWhat kind of woman is this bride? A big woman?FELDZIEGNo.ALDOLPHOA burly woman?FELDZIEGNo. She's the cat's pajamas.ALDOLPHOPajamas?FELDZIEGShe's a looker. A n attractive woman!
THEDROWSYCHAPERONEALDOLPHOAh! Show me to this cat i n pajamas! Aldolpho will make her purrr-r.FELDZIEGStop it.ALDOLPHOLike a cat in pajamasFELDZIEGrrney.Ahhhh!Aldolpho and Feldzieg leave.MANRoman Bartelli chewing the scenery. You certainly couldn't get away with aperformance like that nowadays, could you. Mature contemporary audiences are toosophisticated to enjoy broad racial stereotypes on the stage, so we've banished themto Disney. Let the children sort it out.undrel!-27-
-28-THES C E N E 4: E N T R A N C EDROWSYCHAPERONEHALL—AFTERNOONTottendale and Underling enter. Underling is carrying a tray with a single glass on it.TOTTENDALEUnderling?UNDERLINGYes Madam.TOTTENDALEThe Pastry Chefs have been kind enough to provide the liquor for the party, butremember Underling, we have to be discreet.UNDERLINGYes, madame.TOTTENDALEIt is prohibition, after all.UNDERLINGI'm aware of that, madame.TOTTENDALEWe'll have to use code words. For instance, if someone asks for a glass of ice-water, itmeans they want a glass of vodka. Have you got that?UNDERLINGYes, madame.TOTTENDALEAre you sure? Maybe you should write it down.UNDERLINGI understand, madam. A glass of ice-water is a glass of vodka.TOTTENDALEWhat's a glass of ice-water?UNDERLINGVodka.TOTTENDALEIce water?UNDERLINGVodka.TOTTENDALEIce -
THEDROWSYCHAPERONEUNDERLINGVodka.'lass on it.TOTTENDALEWell, you see, that's settled then. One less thing to do. Underling, might I pleasehave a glass of ice-water? I found our meeting with the pastry chefs rather tryingand I would enjoy a glass of refreshing ice-water.UNDERLINGYour ice-water madame.y, butHe hands her a glass of water. She takes a sip and spits it in his face.TOTTENDALEThat was pure vodka, you poop!MANI hate this scene.TOTTENDALEWell, now I do need a glass of ice-water!UNDERLINGA glass of "ice-water" madame?:e-water, itTOTTENDALEYes, ice-water. Are you going deaf?UNDERLINGWould that I were.MANYou can see where this is going can't you. It's really just a series of spit takes.UNDERLING hands her the glass.UNDERLINGYour "ice-water" madame.She drink and spits it in his face.TOTTENDALEThat was pure vodka, you poop!MANYou know, i n some ways the Drowsy Chaperone was quite progressive. A blackactress playing the Aviatrix, for instance.UNDERLINGYour "ice-water" madame.She drinks, and spits in his face again.-29-
3THE0 -DROWSYCHAPERONETOTTENDALEThat was pure vodka, you poop!MANYes, some elements were quite progressive, others were stale i n 1928, you knowwhat? I ' m going to skip ahead.TOTTENDALE(spit)That was (spit)That(spit)That(3 head takes)- poop!Where do you think you're going?UNDERLINGTo find some lime juice, madam.TOTTENDALELime juice? For heaven's sake why?UNDERLINGI'm going to wring out my eye brows and make myself a gimlet.MAN(mopping the stage)Now, you're probably asking yourself, "what was that routine doing i n the show?"Well, it's very simple: there's a song coming up, and they needed something to allowfor the set change. It's mechanics. It's like pornography. Let me explain what I meantby that. In pornography the story is simplistic - "how do I pay for this pizza" beingthe classic example. M y point is, as in a musical, the story exists only to connect thelonger, more engaging. production numbers. What? Well, what kind of a society dowe live i n if we can't discuss the similarities between pornography and musicaltheatre?#6d - Janet'sBridalSuite
THEDROWSYCHAPERONES C E N E 5: J A N E T ' S BRIDALSUITE—AFTERNOONJANET(looking in the mirror)In a few hours I ' m going to be Mrs. Robert Martin. Oh, my head is spinning.MAN-pulls down the Murphy bed revealing a longing DROWSY. She has an emptyglass in her hand.DROWSYYes, life is a mad whirlwind.MANThis is a really interesting scene. This is the only time i n the show that Jane Robertsand Beatrice Stockwell are alone together on stage. Jane Roberts was a emerging star,but Beatrice Stockwell was already well established and a force to contend with.JANETI ' m so f u l l of apprehension, but I suppose that's normal, considering thecircumstances. Have you ever been married, Chaperone?DROWSYNo. I drink for pleasure, not out of necessity.UNDERLINGenters.UNDERLINGYour "ice water" madam. I ' m afraid we're fresh out of olives.JANETHave you ever been married Underling?UNDERLINGHeavens no madam. If I ' m going to serve a woman I prefer to be paid for my efforts.UNDERLINGexits.JANETOh you two. I know it seems crazy to give up a successful career to marry a man Ihardly know, but somehow, for some reason when I look into his eyes. his big,monkey eyes.ah gee. I get all woozy. A n d that's love isn't it?DROWSYNot necessarily. The wooziness could be caused by any number of things. I mean,I'm woozy right now and I ' m certainly not i n love.MANNow, Beatrice Stockwell was famous for her rousing anthems. She entertained andinspired the troops i n every major world conflict up to and including the Falklandswar. Of course, by that time she was i n her late eighties and her anthems didn't so-31-
THEDROWSYCHAPERONE(MAN)much rouse as stupefy. Still, she demanded that a rousing anthem be included inevery show she ever did, even if it wasn't appropriate. But you just couldn't say noto her. That's star power.JANETReally you're not being the least bit helpful. Couldn't you at least allay my fears w i t ha few choice words of inspiration.# 7 - A s We StumbleAlongDROWSYInspiration? Really, dear, that's not my forte.JANETYes. But if you—DROWSYAS WE STUMBLE ALONGON LIFE'S FUNNY JOURNEYAS WE STUMBLE ALONGINTO THE BLUEWE LOOK HERE AND WE LOOK THERESEEKING ANSWERS ANYWHERENEVER SURE OF WHERE TO TURN OR WHAT TO DOSTILL WE BUMBLE OUR WAYTHROUGH LIFE'S CRAZY LABYRINTHBARELY KNOWING LEFT FROM RIGHTNOR RIGHT FROM WRONGAND THE BEST THAT WE CAN DOIS HOPE A BLUEBIRDWILL SING HIS SONGAS WE STUMBLE ALONGJANETThat was quite.DROWSY.ALONGJANETThat was quite nice, Chaperone, but I don't see how it pertains to my situation.
THEDROWSYCHAPERONEDROWSYided inn't say noLet me explain.JANETOh, really, that's not necessary. I suppose I'm just looking for a sympathetic-Y fears w i t hThe Chaperone pulls the screen on stage in front of Janet.DROWSYIT'S A DISMAL LITTLE WORLD I N WHICH WE LIVEIT CAN BORE YA' TIL YOU'VE NOTHING LEFT TO GIVESEVEN OVER-RATED WONDERSSEVEN UNDER-WHELMING SEASSIX EXCRUCIATING CONTINENTSANTARCTICA-OH, PLEASEMAN"Antarctica, oh please"DROWSYSTILL YOU MUSTN'T LET IT LICK YA'THIS PLANET OH SO BLANDKEEP YOUR EYEBALL ON THE HIGHBALLIN YOUR HANDAS WE STUMBLE ALONGCROSS LIFE'S CROWDED DANCE FLOORAS WE PUSH AND WE SHOVEWE LIVE AND WE LEARNAND WHEN WE FIN'LLY LEAVE THE BARAND WE SEE THAT MORNING STARWE PULL OUR BOOT STRAPS UP AND HOMEWARD TURNTHEN WE STUMBLE AWAYTHROUGH DAWN'S BLINDING SUN BEAMSBARELY KNOWING RIGHT FROM RIGHTNOR LEFT FROM WRONGBUT AS LONG AS WE CAN HEARTHAT LITTLE BLUEBIRDTHERE'LL BE A SONGLtion.AS WE STUMBLE ALONG-33-
-34-THEDROWSYCHAPERONE(DROWSY)AS WE STUMBLE, BUMBLE, FUMBLE.PLUMBLEAS WE STUMBLE ALONGMANDon't you just love her?#7a-StumblePlayoffBasically, she sings a rousing anthem about alcoholism. That's what I love about her.She just does her own thing, when she wants, regardless of the needs and concernsof others. M y mother was like that.JANETWell, that was quite inspiring, chaperone. But, I'm still conflicted. Oh. Please. Just tellme. Is Robert the man for me?DROWSYMy dear, that's something you'll have to decide for yourself.JANETBut, I just don't know if he loves me.DROWSYWhy don't you ask him? Why don't you say, "Roger, do you love me?"JANETIt's Robert. A n d I ' m not allowed to see him. In fact, it's your job to keep me awayfrom him.DROWSYYou're right. A n d I take the responsibility very seriously. However, I'm just thismoment feeling terribly, terribly drowsy. I'm afraid I have to have a lie-de-down.Now whatever you do, don't go wandering through the garden seeking out yourfiance to ask him the question upon which your future happiness depends.The Chaperone reclines, and closes her eyes.JANETOh, thank you, Chaperone. I just have to know if he loves me.Janet sneaks out.DROWSYSuch a skinny little fool. Still, I envy her. Oh, when w i l l love come crashing thoughmy door?ALDOLPHOentersNo, nare mevery
THEDROWSYCHAPERONEALDOLPHOLa la la la la.MANLook who it is! It's Aldolpho come to seduce the bride.ALDOLPHOI am Aldolpho!MANTry not to think of the poodles while you're listening to this part.i about her.[ concernsALDOLPHOI am Aldolpho. And you are bride.DROWSYNo, I am not.ase. Just tellALDOLPHOWhaaat? This is bridal suite, you are the only one here. Therefore you must be bride.DROWSYInteresting argument, but I ' m afraid you are a moron.ALDOLPHOWhaaat?DROWSYMe—no—bride. Perhaps I could take a message.ALDOLPHO:ie away3t this-down.utyourYes, very good. Dear Van De Graaff bride, I must make love to you, and transportyou to the place of ecstacy, sooner is better, signed Aldolpho, King of Romance.DROWSYWell, you saw through my little ruse. You've found me out.ALDOLPHOAhh, so you are the bride.DROWSYApparently, yes. Take me, Aldollface.ALDOLPHONo, no, no, not Aldollface—Aldolpho. You must remember my name for when weare making love and you are screaming you must say the right name or it w i l l spoileverything. How can I make you remember?g though-35-
-36#8-THEDROWSYCHAPERONE-Aldolpho(ALDOLPHO)I'M SURE THAT YOU HAVE HEARD THE NAME ALDOLPHOA LADIES' MAN WHO WINS ACCLAIM ALDOLPHOWELL LOVELY MISS I A M THE SAME ALDOLPHOI INTRODUCE MYSELFI AM ALDOLPHODROWSYNice to meet you, Shall we?ALDOLPHONot so fast.NOW JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T HEAR ALDOLPHOI'LL TRY TO MAKE IT VERY CLEAR ALDOLPHOTHE LOVELY LADIES ALWAYS CHEER ALDOLPHOWHEN I REPEAT MYSELFI AM ALDOLPHODROWSYUnderstood.ALDOLPHOI CAN SING IT HIGH-ALDOLPHOI CAN SING IT LOW-ALDOLPHOI CAN SING IT VERY FAST - ALDOLPHOI CAN SING IT VERY SLOW. LYI'd do it now, but it would take hours. Now let us see if you can remember myname.DROWSYI'll give it a shot.ALDOLPHOWHO'S THE FELLOW THAT YOU SEE?DROWSYALDOLPHOALDOLPHOAND HOW SHOULD YOU REFER TO ME?DROWSYALDOLPHO
ITHEDROWSYCHAPERONE—ALDOLPHOAND WHO IS IT I'LL ALWAYS BE?DROWSYALDOLPHOALDOLPHONOW SING IT PROUDLYDROWSYYOU ARE ALDOLPHOALDOLPHOAND NOW LET ME SPELL IT OUT FOR YOUFOR ALL YOU LOVELY LADIES WHO DIDN'T HEAR FOR SOME REASONMAYBE YOU ARE HARD OF HEARING OR SOMETHING -1 DON'TKNOWIT GOES A-A-A-A-A-ADO - HO- HO-HO- HO-HOLF- F-F-F-F-FOI AM ALDOLPHOALDOLPHOALDOLPHO#8a - Aldolphoand DROWSYrecline on bed.PlayoffMAN(raising the Murphy bed)This was my mother's favorite number in the show. I think it was her secret fantasyto be swept off her feet by a Latin Lover. I mean a real Latin lover, not a buffoon.MAN raises the bed.#8b— "Accident"Prep riseBut that's what musicals are all about, right? Romantic fantasy. Falling i n love at thedrop of a hat! Spontaneous Tangoing. Suddenly finding yourself in an insanelyromantic setting!
- 3 8THEDROWSYS C E N E 6: T O T T E N D A L E ' SCHAPERONEGARDEN—AFTERNOONIROBERTI'M AN ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPENLA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DAJanet entersJANETRobert, look out!ROBERTDon't worry, madam. I ' m getting married today, so I have to wear a blindfold.JANETA blindfold?ROBERTI'm sorry. Who am I speaking to anyhow?JANETWhy, it's me. I mean. Mimi. M i m i from France.MANThis scene couldn't be more ridiculous.JANETSo, you are marrying Janet Van De Graaff, non?ROBERTOui.JANETI hear she's very beautiful.ROBERTOui.JANETA n d glamourous.ROBERTAhh, oui. Oui.JANETIs it true that she has an exceptionally broad range and excels at playing bothcomedic and dramatic roles?ROBERTSay, I ' m having trouble placing your accent. What part of France are you from?
THEDROWSYCHAPERONEJANETOh. the middle part. where they make the. toast. You were telling me about your,how do you say it i n English; fiance?ROBERTThat's right.JANETWell, tell me, when was the moment when you knew that she was the only one foryou.ROBERTdfold.It's a funny story, actually. We were standing on the Lido deck of the Isle de France—JANETYes?ROBERTI was amusing her with stories of my father's oil interests —JANETA n d then what happened?ROBERTI looked into her eyes, her big glamorous eyes, and I felt all woozie —JANETA n d then you fell! Uh. and then you fell?ROBERTYes. Right on my keister. A n d I said, "well, I guess I don't have my sea legs yet".JANET(lost in the moment)But we haven't left the dock.ROBERTThat's what she said. A n d that's when I knew it must be love.JANETAnd then you said.?ROBERTA n d then I said.both*9 - Accidentfrom?WaitingToHappenT H E R E WAS A T I M E I C O U L D STOP O N A D I M EF O R B E A R A N C E WAS O N E O F M Y TALENTS
40-THEDROWSYCHAPERONE(ROBERT)BUT SINCE YOU'VE BEEN AROUND I CAN'T HOLD MY GROUNDI'M CONSISTENTLY LOSING MY BALANCEI'M A N ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPENI'M A MISHAP ABOUT TO ENSUEI'M THE TOY ON THE STAIRTHE THREE LEGGED CHAIRTHE HEM THAT'S BEEN CAUGHT BY A SHOEWHEN MY TWO LOVESICK ARMS STARTED FLAPPIN'THERE WAS NOTHING MY ANKLES COULD DOI'M A N ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPENSO HOW BE I HAPPEN TO YOUJANETThen what happened?ROBERTThen she joined in.JANETWHEN MEN SAY I'M SWEET AND THEY FALL AT MY FEETMY HEART DOESN'T BEAT ANY FASTERBUT WHEN YOU LOSE CONTROL IT TOUCHES MY SOULSO I ' M BRACING MYSELF FOR DISASTERYOU'RE AN ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPENROBERTThat's right.JANETA CATASTROPHE DESTINED TO BEROBERTThat's me.I'M THE RAGS IN THE CELLARJANETA BROKEN UMBRELLERTOGETHERA BRANCH HANGING LOOSE FROM A TREE
THEDROWSYCHAPERONEJANETI CAN SEE MYSELF JUMPIN' AND CLAPPIN'FOR A MAN WHO LIVES DANGEROUSLYTOGETHERYOU'RE/I'M A N ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPENJANETSO HURRY AND HAPPEN TO MEA n d then what happened?ROBERTWell, then. we kissed.JANET & ROBERTYOU'RE/I'M A N ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPENSO HURRY AND HAPPEN TO METhey kiss.JANETWait a minute.Janet slaps Robert.You kissed a strange French Girl on your wedding day!ROBERTOh, no! What have I done! Wait!Robert skates o f f .MANWell, it seems that the blindfold and the fake french accent have led to a terriblemisunderstanding. What a mess! Will it all work out in the end? Of course it will! It'not real! It's a musical. Everything always works out in musicals. I n the real worldnothing ever works out and the only people who burst into song are the hopelesslyderanged.
THEDROWSYS C E N E 8: T O T T E N D A L E ' SCHAPERONESALON—AFTERNOONKITTYMr. Feldzieg.FELDZIEGWhere's that philandering foreigner?KITTYMr. Feldzieg.FELDZIEGH o w long can it take to seduce one bride?KITTYMr. Feldzieg. You don't need Janet no more.FELDZIEGKitty. Not now.#9b - Kitty,.TheIncomprehensibleKITTYI've been working on a Mind Reading act. Presenting "Kitty the Incomprehensible."KITTY closes her eyes waves her fingers at FELDZIEGNow, think of something.FELDZIEGOh, I ' m thinking of something, alright.KITTYWait! I'm getting it. "pick up some milk. and a loaf of rye bread. and don't forgetto shave your legs."She looks at him, confused.FELDZIEGYou're reading your own mind, you idiot!KITTYNo wonder it was so easy.Kitty Exits. The Gangsters enter.GANGSTER #1Mr. Feldzieg.GANGSTER #2It would seem that the wedding is proceeding according to schedule.
THEDROWSYCHAPERONEGANGSTER #1Now, it's time you received your just desserts. What, do you think partner? Shouldwe whip up something special for Mr. Feldzieg?GANGSTER #2Yeah. How about a Toledo Surprise?GANGSTER #1A n inspired choice.FELDZIEGA Toledo Surprise? I never heard of that.GANGSTER #1No, you haven't. Those people who have heard of it are generally never heard fromagain.GANGSTER #2We'll share the recipe with you.GANGSTER #1First you chop the nuts—GANGSTER #2—then you pound the dough—GANGSTER #1—then you bake it up nice and slow—GANGSTER #1 & GANGSTER #2— and then you got your Toledo.(slap)Toledo surprise.FELDZIEGCould you run that by me again.GANGSTER #2It's a very simple recipe Mr. Feldzieg.GANGSTER #1First you chop the nuts—GANGSTER #2—then you pound the dough—GANGSTER #1 & GANGSTER #2—then you bake it up nice and slow—A n d then you got your Toledo.(slap)-43
44-THEDROWSYCHAPERONE(GANGSTER #1 & GANGSTER #2)Toledo surprise.G A N G S T E R #1Say why don't we give him a little taste?GANGSTER #2Alright.The gangsters cock their fists.ToledoSurpriseFELDZIEGHold it! What style! What grace! What rhythm! Open your fists! Now shake'em!Now give me that recipe one more time. Da, da, da, da, da, da, Go!The Gangsters begin tentatively.G A N G S T E R #1 & G A N G S T E R #2CHOP THE NUTSPOUND THE DOUGHBAKE IT UPFELDZIEGFront!GANGSTER #1 & GANGSTER #2NICE AND SLOWTHEN YOU GOT A TOLEDOTOLEDO SURPRISEFELDZIEGNow sell it!The Gangsters sing with full confidence.GANGSTER #1 & GANGSTER #2PIT THE PEACHPEEL THE SKINMUSH IT UPTHROW IT I NTHAT'S A TASTY TOLEDOTOLEDO SURPRISEFELDZIEGNow you're cooking!
THEDROWSYCHAPERONEGANGSTER #1 & GANGSTER #2FIRST YOU BEAT IT UPTHEN YOU SWEET IT UPWHEN YOU HEAT IT UPIF IT TRIES TO RISEDON'T LET ITIT'S A SNAPTRY IT FOLKSWHIP YOUR WHITESSPLIT YOUR YOLKSTHEN YOU GOT A SPLENDIDOTOLEDO SURPRISEFELDZIEGYou boys are naturals.GANGSTER #2Honest?FELDZIEGKeep it up, I ' l l go work on the contracts.GANGSTER #1 & GANGSTER #2Hey!FELDZIEGA-5-6-7-8.KITTY enters.KITTYMr. Feldzieg. Oh, what's going on here?FELDZIEGKitty. I'm developing a new act.GANGSTER #1 & GANGSTER #2TOLEDO SURPRISEKITTYYou mean you're putting Gangsters i n the show and you won't put me in? They'renot even in the union.FELDZIEGShh. You got it all wrong. The new act - it's for you, Kitty. A n d these boys are yourback up dancers.
- 4 6 -THEDROWSYCHAPERONEKITTYBack up dancers? Holy Cats!WHAT THAT HOT TOLEDODOES TO MY LIBIDOGOOD? MMM, YES INDEEDOSUGARY YUM YUMSURPRISE!KITTYG A N G S T E R #1 & GANGSTER]SQUEEZE THE CREAMDOOGREASE THE PANDOO DOO!LICK THE SPOONDOOjFLIP THE FLANDOO DOOKITTYMAKES YOU BUST YOUR TUXEDOTOLEDO SURPRISEALDOLPHO enters with theCHAPERONE.ALDOLPHOWait! Wait! Aldolpho, he make announcement. Wedding is off!GEORGEWhat? For the love of God why?ALDOLPHOAldolpho has made love to the bride!ALDOLPHO indicatesCHAPERONE.ALLOh? Eww.FELDZIEGThat's not the bride, you idiot. That is the Chaperone.ALDOLPHOWhaat?GEORGEThe wedding is on!JANET and ROBERT enter.
THEDROWSYCHAPERONEJANETThe wedding is off!GEORGEWhat?JANETRobert kissed a French girl. Her name is Mimi. She's very beautiful.ROBERTI couldn't help it Janet. She was just like you, only French.L & GANGSTER!JANET slaps ROBERTGEORGESweet mother of pearl!TOTTENDALEUnderling.UNDERLINGYes, madame.TOTTENDALEWhat is all this commotion about?UNDERLINGThe wedding, Madame.TOTTENDALEOh, is there going to be a wedding?FELDZIEGNot anymore. Oh, what a tragedy! What a wonderful, wonderful tragedy!FELDZIEG turns to theGANGSTERS.Clear the floor, boys, I ' l l show you how it's done.FIRST YOU BEAT IT UPTHEN YOU SWEET IT UPWHEN YOU HEAT IT UPIF IT TRIES TO RISEDON'T LET ITFELDZIEG dances.TOLEDO SURPRISE!TOTTENDALESURPRISE?
-48THE-DROWSYCHAPERONEG A N G S T E R #1WAIT ' N T I L IT'S R E A D YTOTTENDALESURPRISE?GANGSTER #2WAIT ' N T I L IT'S R E A D YTOTTENDALESURPRISE?FELDZIEGWAIT ' N T I L IT'S R E A D YKITTYN O W IT'S L O O K I N ' R E A D Y- 4TOTTENDALESURPRISE!GANGSTER #1, GANGSTER #2, KITTY & FELDZIEGYOU GOT ITTOTTENDALEMAKES ME TWITCHMAKES ME SHAKETHIS DESSERTTAKES T H E C A K EHITS M E L I K E A TORPEDOT O L E D O SURPRISEALDOLPHOT O L E D O SURPRISEGEORGET O L E D O SURPRISEUNDERLINGSURPRISEDROWSYSURPRISE! !!ALLSURPRISEDance break.111! HBHI IHiililiHIfliiifliliBl* f 'fr -"w1'f' ."-- . K , * , , tjfr qp-- \L-i t -A
THEDROWSYCHAPERONE-49-(ALL)SURPRISESURPRISE(Kitty Screams)CHOP T H E NUTSPOUND T H E DOUGHBAKE IT U PNICE A N D SLOWTHEN YOU GOT A TOLEDOT O L E D O SURPRISETHEN Y O U GOT A TOL-EE THEN Y O U GOT A TOL-EE THEN Y O U GOT A TOL-EE THEN Y O U GOT A TOL-EE THEN Y O U GOT A TOL-EE THEN Y O U GOT A TOL-EE THEN Y O U GOT A TOL-EE THEN Y O U GOT A TOL-EE -The record skips. The MAN rushes over to the record player and stomps on the floor.The record continues.SURPRISE!W A I T ' N T I L IT'S R E A D YSURPRISE!WAIT ' N T I L IT'S R E A D YSURPRISE!THAT'S A TASTY T O L E D O SURPRISE!JANETWhy are we dancing? Our dreams are i n tatters.ROBERTYes. Yes. But the tune is so infectious.»
- 5 0 -THEDROWSYCHAPERONEJANETOh, Robert. This is the saddest day of my life!ALLWEDDING BELLS WON'T RINGWEDDING BELLS WON'T CHIMETHEY WILL NEVER CELEBRATE THEIR HAPPY WEDDING TIME!
ahh ahh-ahh-ahh ahh-ahh-ahh ahh-ahh-ahh she don't wanna show off, sho ofw f don't wanna show off no more . i don' wannt a say "cheese n"o more i don't care if yo scofu f i don' wannt a be cheered no more praised no more . that' stas r power. janet drowsy janet drowsy janet drowsy janet .
Hallelujay, I just wanna praise The Lord Tous En intro HAL - LE - LU - - JAY ! 4X Instrumental I JUST WANNA PRAISE THE LORD_ , / 4X I JUST WANNA PRAISE HIM, I _JUST WANNA PRAISE HIM, I JUST WANNA PRAISE THE LORD_./ court ! Retour au déb
Apr 04, 2015 · Pleaz lissen to me,‘cause me singin’ good And me love you like Greek man love chicken. Don don don, diri diri, don don don don. When me go on hunts, hunt with falcon; Me will bring you woodcock, fat as kidney. Don don don, diri diri, don don don don. Me no can tell you much beautiful, fancy stuff; Me no know Petrarch or spring of Helicon.
Girls just wanna’ fundraise Calgary Girls School proved that girls wanna’ have more than fun. They wanna’ fundraise, so others can have fun. The all-girls school raised 12,000. Wow! Golder Angels in action The Golder Angels at Golder Associates were at it again last May, when six brave
you wanna make things right with me right”, and “you don’t wanna get me byke [back] on your team?” Both messages insinuated that it was in her best interest to keep him on her good side. 25. Orenn Fells asked Jane Doe for oral sex via text messages. She replied to his text messages by declining, stating that she felt uncomfortable.
LIP SYNC BATTLE SONGS Dancing Queen ABBA Take a Chance On Me ABBA You Shook Me All Night Long AC/DC T.N.T. AC/DC Thunderstruck AC/DC Hello Adele Dude (Looks Like a Lady) Aerosmith Sweet Emotion Aerosmith I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing Aerosmith Love In An Elevator Aerosmith Let's Stay Together Al Green Mountain Music Alabama Don't Wanna Fight Alabama Shakes Livin' On Love
a paper animal. She tried over and over until she could finally fold a paper dog and wished that she could see Son just once more even though she knew that it was not possible. Looking at the paper dog she had made, she felt so weird that the paper dog seemed smiling at her. She felt that she would make more, many more animals out of paper. She collected all the papers in the house and started .
Read Mentor Texts about Persuasion Click Clack Moo by Doreen Cronin, Dear Mrs. LaRue: Letters from Obedience School by Mark Teague Earrings by Judith Viorst I Wanna Iguana by Karen Orloff I Wanna New Room by Karen Orloff, Don’t Let the Pigeon Stay Up Late by Mo Willems Can I Hav
The best way to tempt the old to go on working may be to build on such ‘bridge’ jobs: part-time or temporary employment that creates a more gradual transition from full-time work to retirement. Studies have found that, in the United States, nearly half of all men and women who had been in full-time jobs in middle age moved into such ‘bridge’ jobs at the end of their working lives. In .
