Parent's Guide To Mobile Phones - AT&T
A Parent’sGuide toMobile Phones 2014 ConnectSafely.org1
Table of contents12 tips for smart smartphone use3Today’s mobile ecosystemHow kids use mobile phones66Your child’s first phoneHelping kids protect their safety,privacy and security77Is your child ready for a cellphone?7Parental controlsTwo kinds of safety1010Some closing thoughts11FAQ: Parents’ top 5 questions aboutmobile phones12
12 tips for smart smartphone useShare with care. Use the same good sense about what you say orshare with your phone as you would in person. Once they’re shared,texts, photos, and videos are tough to take back. They can be copiedand pasted elsewhere and are out there pretty much forever (evenin apps that supposedly make them disappear). Think about all thepeople in them (including you!). Reputations are at stake.Phones are personal. Letting other people use your phone whenyou’re not around is like letting them have the password to any of yoursocial network accounts. They can impersonate you, which gives themthe power to mess with your reputation and relationships. Lock yourphone when you’re not using it, and use strong and unique passwordsfor all your apps.Keep it kind. Because people socialize on smartphones as muchas anywhere now, cyberbullying can be mobile too. Treat people onphones as you would face-to-face and your chances of getting bulliedor harassed go down. Respect is contagious. Ask permission beforetaking photos and videos of others and be aware of people randomlytaking pictures at parties, in locker rooms, etc. – you may not want tobe tagged in their social-network photo albums!Treat people onphones as you wouldface-to-faceLock your phonewhen you’renot using itKnow what your apps know. Pay attention to any permissions appsrequest as you install them. If an app asks to accessyour location, contact list, calendar or messages or to post to yoursocial networking services, consider if the app really needs thatinformation to function. When in doubt, consider withholdingpermission or not using that app.The value of “presence.” If you do a lot of texting, consider theimpact that being “elsewhere” might be having on the peoplearound you. Your presence during meals, at parties, in the car, etc.is not only polite – it’s a sign of respect and appreciated by thepeople you’re with.Down time is good. Constant texting and talking can affect sleep,concentration, school, and other things that deserve your thoughtand focus. You need your sleep and real friends understand there aretimes you just need to turn off the phone.Share location mindfully. There are a growing number of apps thatlet you share your location and track where friends are. If you usea location feature or service, think about who could see that andwhether you want them to know where you are. Make sure only closefriends or family members can see your location. Get to know yourapps’ privacy features and your phone’s privacy settings!A Parent’s Guide to Mobile Phones3
Watch costs. Knowing how to keep track of the costs of using a phoneand its apps is part of using it responsibly. Be aware of the costs of inapp purchases and the allowances included in your service plan andhow to track your data use so you can avoid unexpected charges. Beaware of options that help you use the phone economically, such asusing Wi-Fi rather than cellphone service where available.Avoid accidents. Never send or read texts while driving, bike ridingand other activities that require your full attention. Make it a rule for theentire family, including parents.Have a conversation (not a lecture) with your kids about smartphoneuse. Consider drawing up a family cellphone contract and talk withyour children about why each point is important(there’s a sample contract at ConnectSafely.org/mobile).Find missing phones. Use a find-my-phone app that can help locatethe phone and delete all personal data if it’s lost or stolen.Technology can help. Visit GrowingWireless.com to find out whatparental controls your mobile phone company offers, or look for thirdparty parental-control apps in the app store on your phone.Never sendor read textswhile drivingA Parent’s Guide to Mobile Phones4
Mobile phoneshelp keep us andour kids safeIt seems just about everybody has a mobile phone now, includingmore than three-quarters of U.S. teens and a rapidly growing numberof younger kids. For young people as well as adults, the technology haschanged the way we work, play, communicate, learn, and socialize. Eventhe term “smartphone” is a bit of an understatement, with all that itshundreds of thousands of applications allow us to do – track flights, dohomework, stay fit, take tutorials, avoid traffic, find recipes, read books,or share moments and play games together across vast distances.Mobile phones also help keep us and our kids safe. They enable us tocall for help in an emergency, find our way when we’re lost and helpfamily members keep track of each other. Phones can even be usedtohelp parents know the speed at which a teen is driving the family car.You don’t need us to tell you that they’ve become an indispensablepart of our lives.While the overwhelming majority of young people are using theirphones responsibly, it’s natural for parents to worry about how theirkids are using such powerful devices. As with any other powerful tool,there are risks, but through responsible use, they can be minimized.That’s why we created this guide.A Parent’s Guide to Mobile Phones5
Today’s mobileecosystem meansshared responsibilityThe mobile ecosystem now has many moving parts,each of which has a role to play in cellphones users’safety, privacy and security. In addition to the serviceproviders themselves, there are the companiesthat make the devices and operating systems(like Android, iOS and Windows) and the makersof the hundreds of thousands of apps people candownload to their phones. Even the makers ofsmartphones’ Web browsers play a role, becausethey make it possible to access millions of websites,send and receive messages and have voice or chatconversations from any Wi-Fi hotspot—even wherethere’s no cellular service.There are two other very important players in thisecosystem where families are concerned: you andyour children. More than ever, it’s up to the user todetermine what to do with a smartphone and howto use it safely. Safety, privacy and security are nowvery much a shared responsibility in families, amongfriends and between users and all the other parts ofthe mobile ecosystem.A Parent’s Guide to Mobile PhonesHow kids use mobile phonesThe best way to find out how your kids are using theirphones is to ask them. Activities popular with kidsinclude photo and video sharing, texting, gaming,and a growing number of social networking appsthat are not limited to the ones you might haveheard of, such as Facebook and Twitter. It’s all aboutsharing and socializing because, as kids get intotheir pre-teens, their interests are more and moresocial. The good news is, if they have cellphonesat that age, their use is embedded in everydaylife – mostly school life – and the people they’reinteracting with are typically friends and peers theyknow from school and other parts of their lives youknow about. And sometimes they even use theirphones to help with homework. So even thoughapps come and go and technology changes, theparenting part hasn’t changed much. You still needto be the parent, ask questions, and set limits. Justknow that what goes on with phones is more aboutpeople and relationships than about technology. Asfor the technology part, our kids are usually prettyhappy to help us out with that.6
Your child’s first phoneThere are lots of things to think about whenparents consider buying kids their first cellphones.Of course the “right time” and the right phone varyby child, his or her maturity level and the familybudget. Some parents want their young childrento have a phone so they can call or be reached atany time. Others prefer to wait till they’re teens.Factors to consider include: whether a child canuse a phone with respect for the device, your rulesand the people they interact with on it; if he or shecan stay within the limits of the usage plan andwhether the child knows when to turn the phoneoff (e.g., at bedtime).For young kids, you could consider getting asimple “feature phone” rather than a smartphone.Though they can be used for texting, these basicphones are mainly for just talking – kids can’tuse them to download third-party apps, somedon’t have cameras, and they’re less expensiveif you need to replace them. It’s likely that yourkids – especially teens and preteens – will want asmartphone and access to apps and, dependingon your cellphone plan, you may be able to getthem one and add it to your family plan at fairlylow cost. But do consider establishing rules aboutwhat apps are appropriate, using parental-controltools and discussing how to keep usage within thefamily’s cellphone plan.Helping kids protect their safety,privacy and securityYoung people tend to use their devices safelymost of the time, but it’s always good to talk overthe key issues, even revisit them now and then asyour kids change and grow:Young peopleuse their devicessafely.but it’salways good totalk over issuesIs your child ready fora cellphone?Consider whether he or she is. . .Able to understand the cost ofproviding and using a phone and wilingto stay within the usage limits you set.Ready to take good care of a phone(i.e., isn’t likely to lose or break it).Able to manage his or her time andnot use the phone for socializingor entertainment when there isschoolwork to be done.Willing to answer when you call and callyou when it’s time to check in.Willing to talk with you about the appson his or her phone and how they’rebeing used.Able to use the phone politely, in a waythat respects the feelings of the peoplein the room or at the other end of theconversation.Willing to only share his or her locationwith close real-life friends and family.Ready to accept the consequences ofbreaking any family cellphone rules.7
Communicate with care. Whether it’s by voice,text, or a social networking or photo-sharing app,there are plenty of ways kids can interact withpeople they know and – in some cases – don’tknow. If a child is being contacted by someonewho might be harassing or bullying them, thereare usually ways to block that person, throughyour cellphone company, the app or both. Theyprobably do know, but be sure your kids knowwho is and isn’t appropriate to interact with ontheir phones as well as online. Younger childrenmay need contact lists you set up with peopleyou pre-approve.Limit who can locate you. All modern phones areequipped with geolocation technology that canpinpoint the phone’s location. That can enhancesafety and convenience by allowing parentsto track kids, users to find lost phones and firstresponders to find people in an emergency(with Enhanced 911, or “E911”). There are alsoapps that use location or share it with other usersor companies. With the exception of E911, it’spossible to turn off geolocation, either for theentire phone or just for specific apps. You andyour kids can review the apps on their phonesto see which apps share location. If you’reuncomfortable with any of them, you can try toturn off the app’s location feature or just deletethe app.Lock your phone. One of the simplest ways toprotect privacy and security is to passwordprotect a phone with a numeric code, gesture,password, or fingerprint so no one else can use it.In addition to protecting the information on yourphone, the password also protects you. Locking aphone prevents others from using kids’ phones toimpersonate them, possibly to bully or play “jokes”on others in their name, or to post images orcomments that could embarrass them. Tell themnever to share that password with anyone – evenfriends – because sometimes friends makemistakes or become ex-friends.A Parent’s Guide to Mobile PhonesOnly downloadapps from anofficial sourceBe app-savvy. When you’re downloading apps,look at the reviews and pay special attentionto the permissions they seek. Do a bit of Websearching to see if an app you’re installing isfrom a reputable developer, and only downloadapps from official sources like Google Play or theApple App Store. Even then, be careful becausenot all apps in these stores are appropriate forall users. As you install an app, it may ask youwhether it can do such things as access yourcalendar, contact list, or location – or whether itcan post on your behalf to a social networkingservice. In many cases, you can choose not to,but with some apps, your only choice is to agreeto all the permissions or cancel the installation.Either way, you have a choice. You and yourchildren can periodically review the apps ontheir phones together and consider deleting anythat you’re not comfortable with. There are alsoparental controls (see below) that can help youcontrol your child’s use of apps.Share thoughtfully. Whether they’re usingphoto- and video-sharing apps or commentingin social media apps, kids need to know that whatthey post is a reflection on them. Talk with themabout respecting their own and others’ dignityand privacy by being aware of what they’re“saying” with both words and images. We allneed to ask permission before sharing picturesof others and think about how they affect ourown and others’ reputations.8
Use strong passwords everywhere. Evenif your phone is locked, make sure you havestrong passwords for apps or sites that accessany personal information, because people canaccess these services from other devices too.Use strong passwords that are easy toremember and hard to guess (i.e., use symbols,mix upper- and lower-case letters), anddon’t use the same password for every app,service, or website. You’ll find suggestions atPasswords.ConnectSafely.org.Consider the costs. Sign up for a plan that’sappropriate for your children’s voice, dataand texting needs, and check in periodicallyto make sure they stay within their plan’slimit. It’s a good discipline that can offerearly financial literacy lessons. Also considerwhether a contract plan or pre-paid plan isright for your child. If your plan has a datalimit, consider using Wi-Fi when possible.KnowMyApp.org has more advice and offersdata usage estimates for popular apps. Havea family policy about spending money onapps and in-app purchases. Even “free” appscan cost money if they allow your child tomake purchases within a game or other kindof app. Some families have a rule that kidscan’t download an app without a parent’spermission.Protect the device with a good, strong caseand consider getting some type of insurancefrom your cellphone company or a third party,in case the phone is lost, stolen or damaged.Use a phone finder app. There are free appsthat can help you locate a lost phone, makeit ring even if it’s in silent mode, erase thecontents and lock it so that an unauthorizedperson can’t use it. Some include additionalsecurity features. Go to ConnectSafely.org/mobile for instructions on how to use Apple’sFind My iPhone app and Google’s AndroidDevice Manager that come with recent modelsof these phones.A Parent’s Guide to Mobile Phones9
Parental controlsThere are actually two major types of parentalcontrols. The first is family rules or guidelines thatyou establish with your children, and the second istechnology tools provided by cellphone companies,smartphone makers, and app developers. In manyways, the first kind is more effective, because itinvolves teaching your children self-regulation and-protection, which is with them wherever they goand can last a lifetime. Monitoring and Web filteringapps are available, but don’t let them give you a falsesense of security because they’re no substitutefor the resilience, moral compass and cognitive filterkids develop for their own well-being. If you do usetechnology to monitor or limit their phone activities, inmost cases it’s a good idea to be up front with your kidsabout it and revisit it every now and then as they mature.Because phones have Web browsers, they can beused to view any type of Web content, includingcontent you might consider inappropriate foryour children. Establishing rules and talking withyour kids about appropriate use is baseline safety.Depending on the device, if you make yourselfthe administrator of your child’s phone and putthe settings behind a password, you can blockWeb browsing and other functions altogether anddecide if they can download apps, among otheroptions. This may be a big factor in deciding whatphone you give your child.Using filtering or time management apps canbe really helpful with some kids. There are alsoparental-control tools that enable parents to knowwhat kids are texting, what sites they’re visiting andwhat apps they’re using, as well as tools that enableyou to locate your child when he or she isn’t home.(when phones are off), keep grades up andallow time for exercise – and we all know thatignoring your phone occasionally can be good forrelationships.Another form of safety is the social kind. As everychild and parent knows, social media can turn intoanti-social media, so family conversations aboutkeeping social lives positive need to include theinteraction that happens on digital devices too.As a society we’re all learning that anonymityand a lack of visual cues doesn’t mean we cantreat others differently or stop being respectful.It doesn’t mean that these aren’t fellow humanbeings behind our texts, posts, photos, avatars,and comments. The same social practices thatmaintain good relations in offline life supporteverybody’s well-being in digital spaces too. Ifyou want additional help, check out our guide fordealing with cyberbullying atConnectSafely.org/guides.Establishfamily rulesTwo kinds of safetyThe best way to stay safe when using a cellphoneis to use good sense and stay alert. The only realrisk to physical safety is distraction. Don’t just tellyour teens not to text while driving, model it! It’sextremely dangerous.Thoughtful, balanced use of phones is good for usin lots of ways: It can help kids get enough sleepA Parent’s Guide to Mobile Phones10
Some closing thoughtsThese days, parenting needs to be as dynamicand adaptive as our kids and their favorite technologies are. Whatworks to help one child might flop when tried with another kid. Andwhat helps a boy when he’s 11 can hold him back when he’s 14. Just aschildhood represents a processof ongoing growth, parenting is a process of ongoing calibration.In the advice above, we mentioned a lot of external protections –from parental-control tools to phone settings to family rules. Whatisn’t considered enough is the internal kind of safeguards parentshave always helped kids develop: self-respect, resilience, empathy,manners, and a moral compass – that inner guidance system thatprotects them long after they grow up and leave home. They workreally well with any technology our kids use, and – though they can bechallenging to model and teach – they’re not new, and rapid change inkids and technology only increases their value.Use good senseand stay alertA Parent’s Guide to Mobile Phones11
FAQ: Parents’ top5 questions aboutmobile phones1. What’s the best age to get a child his or herfirst cellphone?The short answer is, “it depends.” Only you canknow if your child is mature enough to follow familyrules, take care of the phone and not lose it. Anothermajor factor is whether the child understands howto use the phone in a way that considers the feelingsand rights of others.The average age of kids getting their first mobilephones keeps going down. It was 16 ten yearsago, but in 2009 it was about 12, according toPew Research Center. A more recent (2013) PewResearch report found that 68% of 12-13 year-oldsown a cellphone and 23% have a smartphone, while83% of older (14-17) teens have cellphones and 44%have smartphones.2. How can I limit or monitor what my kids dowith their cellphones?In addition to family rules and lots ofcommunication, there are parental-control toolsyou can use to block access to websites and apps;monitor what kids are doing (including texting)and control who can call them. You can check withyour cellphone company and search for parentalcontrol tools in app stores to find what’s available. Ifyou do use a parental-control tool, we recommendyou tell your child why you’re using it. Also seriouslyconsider how much information is too much. Somemonitoring apps record a user’s every keystroke—even in text messages. Think about whether youreally need to know the content of every text.3. How can I make sure my child’s privacy isprotected?There are two types of privacy protection – the kindthat can be set or installed on a phone and the kindthat develops in a child’s head. Privacy settingsin apps and on phones can provide control overuse of your child’s data, and parental controls cangive you more control or oversight over his or herphone activities. Locking a phone reduces the riskof it being used by someone to impersonate thephone’s owner or bully others.A Parent’s Guide to Mobile Phones12
The second kind – learning how to protect yourand your friends’ privacy – is just as importantbecause the information users post and sharewith their smartphones has just as much impacton privacy as settings and other tech safeguards.Helping our kids share carefully, showing respectfor themselves and others, spells real protection ofboth privacy and well-being. It helps to be up frontwith your kids about the measures you take andlearn together what rules and tools best keep theirmobile phone use positive and constructive.4. How can I make sure my child only usesapps that are safe and appropriate?The best way to ensure that your kids are using safeand appropriate apps is to talk with them abouteach app they use or want to use and do a littleresearch to make sure it’s appropriate. You canlook at reviews in the mobile app stores, searchthe Web for information about an app or talk withfriends who have used it. You could also have a rulethat no app gets downloaded without a parent’spermission or use parental controls to put appdownloading behind a password so that your childcan only download one with your help. But evensome appropriate apps can be misused, so kidsstill need to make sure that what they share doesn’tjeopardize their privacy and security.5. How do I control the cost of my child’scellphone service and apps?First, review your cellphone plan to make sureit’s appropriate for your child’s use. Factors toconsider are limited or unlimited texting, thenumber of voice minutes and how much data canbe used each month. Consider calling CustomerService at your service provider to make sure youhave the right plan for your family. Also talk withyour kids about Wi-Fi, which enables them to usetheir mobile devices to watch video or downloadapps or content without incurring the cost ofcellular data use. People can also run up costsbuying and using apps, so consider having a familypolicy that addresses spending money for or withinapps or setting a password (your kids don’t know)that keeps them from buying apps or spendingmoney via “in-app purchases” that can sometimesreally add up. Setting limits on your child’s use canhelp keep costs under control.A Parent’s Guide to Mobile Phones13
Mobile phones help keep us and our kids safe. A Parent's uide to obile Phones 6 Today's mobile ecosystem means shared responsibility The mobile ecosystem now has many moving parts, each of which has a role to play in cellphones users' safety, privacy and security. In addition to the service
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