Difficult Dialogue In The Classroom - .GLOBAL
DifficultDialogue in theClassroomGuidance andactivities to giveteachers theskills to managedifficult dialogue
ContentsIntroduction 3Before the Dialogue 5During the Dialogue 32After the Dialogue 48AppendixReading List 57
Since producing our Essentials of Dialogueresource, we have had a great deal of feedback fromteachers around the world that they want to go beyondthose resources, and explore additional tools foraddressing more challenging topics in the classroom.Everyone involved with education knows thefeeling of being asked questions by young people thatare difficult or challenging. Sometimes educators reactby closing down those topics of discussion, suggestingthat the classroom isn’t the place to address them.We believe that a more positive approach is to addressthem openly and honestly through dialogue in class.If we shut those discussions down, young people willcontinue looking for the information that they need tomake sense of the world, and if they don’t get that inschool, they will seek it elsewhere. Many of the voicesthat seek to give them those answers are seeking toinculcate particular values and attitudes that may closetheir minds, reduce their resilience to extremism, andpossibly even place them in danger.In order to support teachers with materials toaddress these challenges, we have produced these‘Difficult Dialogue’ resources. These are composed oftwo discrete sections. The first is this book – DifficultDialogue in the Classroom, which builds upon thework outlined in the Essentials of Dialogue, to outlinean approach to addressing such issues using triedand tested dialogue solutions. Each section of thisbook contains a short theory section discussing andexplaining the suggested approaches, as well as anumber of suggested activities for practical classroomuse.INTRODUCTIONIntroductionWe also recognise that teachers often feel underinformed on many of these issues, so the secondsection is a range of briefing notes for teachers toaccompany these classroom resources, and to helpteachers feel prepared to engage with these issues.The first of these, on Religious Extremism, exploressome of the challenges of talking about this frequentlycontentious area, as well as providing nuanced andreliable information provided by the expert team ofresearchers from the Institute.At the Tony Blair Institute for Global Change wework to promote co-existence and counter extremism.We have substantial experience developing resourcesfor use in the classroom all over the world to cultivatethe skills of dialogue, and to help young people developan open-minded approach to one another. Ourcommitment is to ensure that we provide teachers withstraightforward easy-to-use resources that will have agenuine impact upon their students.We present these resources to help anyone whowants an effective approach to addressing difficultissues with young people.3
1Beforethe Dialogue
Chapter 1.01.1WHY DIFFICULT DISCUSSIONS CANGO WRONGThere are many reasons why discussions arounddifficult issues can become something that we hadnot intended. While planning these events we mayhave in our heads a picture of students calmly andrationally discussing the issues from a dispassionateposition, with ourselves as teacher serenely overseeingand guiding the discussion. We visualise ourselveshelping those in our charge come to new, morenuanced understandings of complex topics. Yet,when it comes to the activity on the day, we findour worst fears becoming a reality as the discussiondisintegrates into heated arguments, fallings out, poorbehaviour, and even personal insults. If you have nothad this experience yourself, chances are you willknow a colleague who has. We know that it can leaveyou feeling emotionally drained, rather shaken, andultimately a bit of a failure and reluctant to take such arisk again.BEFORETHE DIALOGUEBefore theDialogueIN THIS CHAPTER1. THEORYWHY DIFFICULT DISCUSSIONS CAN GO WRONGCREATING A SAFE SPACETHE IMPORTANCE OF SHARED GROUND RULES2. ACTIVITIESSHOWING RESPECTWHAT DOES RESPECT LOOK LIKE?IS IT RESPECTFUL?DISAGREEING RESPECTFULLYHOW SURE AM I?BLACK, WHITE, AND GREY IN-BETWEENTHE GOOD SHIP ‘MY OPINIONS’RESPONSE VS REACTIONTRIGGERSINSTABILITYCONDITIONING US NOT TO LISTEN WELLCLEAR INTENTIONSASKING AUTHENTIC QUESTIONSWhat Can Go Wrong?If you have had one of these experiences, then yourown reflections (once you have had a sit down - or liedown - cup of tea, and chat with a trusted colleague,perhaps) will lead you to some obvious conclusions: I could not control the direction the discussiontookSome of the students seemed very anchored toparticular positions on the issueStudents would not listen to one anotherStudents treated one another without respectHowever, there may also have been less obviousreasons why the discussion did not have the desiredresults.3. WORKSHEETSBelow, you will find a brief reflection on whydiscussions around contentious issues can go wrong inclass. These points are elaborated on in the subsequentchapters.Can These Issues Be Fixed? Yes, With SomeTime, Patience And EffortOne thing that we tend to overlook when settingup these kinds of discussions is that the experiencefor the participants is as much emotional as it isintellectual. For every word uttered out loud in these5
BEFORETHE DIALOGUEfrom ensuring inclusivity to making sure no one feelsthreatened; ensuring the dialogue gets to the heartof the matter and does not stay at the sides; as well ashandling and making use of the ‘heat’ as it arises. This issuch an important component for successful discussionthat we have included a whole chapter to explore this.Adolescents find it difficult to step back fromemotional engagement as their brains are not asdeveloped as adults. The prefrontal cortex is not fullydeveloped until the early twenties, and this area ofthe brain plays a large part in helping us to overcomeemotional response with rational ones.Another point is the issue of readiness for dialogue.In order for students to be able to come to newunderstandings of an issue they must first examinehow they think and feel about the issue and exploreand acknowledge what underpins these thoughts andemotions.You may already be familiar with the idea of asafe space for dialogue, but this concept is especiallyimportant for difficult discussions. It is a term that isoften bandied about but poorly understood. If whatwe really want to achieve through these discussions isfor students to come to new and more sophisticatedunderstandings of the issues surrounding the topicbeing explored, this will require the participants tomake themselves vulnerable. This in turn is built uponthe building of trust. This involves an investmentof time and is not something that can be createdovernight. It is important to recognise that in order todeal most effectively with these contentious issues,time invested in building a cohesive, open, and safeclassroom culture or climate is time well spent. Active listeningis a fundamentalskill for meaningfulengagement withthe ideas, opinions,beliefs, and values ofothers.The guardian of this safe space is the facilitator.Facilitation is different from teaching, and classroommanagement is not the same as facilitation. Thefacilitator has multiple roles and responsibilities; Do they arrive to the dialogue with a fixedmindset?If they are tied to a particular way of looking at anissue, why is that so?Do they associate a position on the issue with theiridentity in some way?Is there pressure in their community to conformto a certain stance?Helping students to understand their assumptions,their influences, and prejudices, and for them to betransparent about this in the discussion is critical forcreating both the safe space for discussion and attitudeof openness to new ways of looking at an issue.In order to minimise the potential for pushing aparticular viewpoint rather than exploring the issue,students need to reflect on their intentions for thedialogue. Remember the emotional element to thedialogue? There will be self-esteem issues woven intothe intentions of the students entering into thesediscussions. Having an authentic voice in the dialoguemeans being able to acknowledge these intentions.Does the student seek to make friends, impress otherswith their knowledge, seek the teacher’s approval byaligning to what they think is an approved standpoint,or to promote an ideology or belief to which theyadhere?You may find that your students do not listen wellto one another. Active listening is a fundamental skillfor meaningful engagement with the ideas, opinions,beliefs, and values of others. Frequently students aresimply ‘waiting to speak’ as opposed to actually beingengaged in listening to and processing what othersin the group are saying. It is only when we listen well6BEFORETHE DIALOGUEconversations there are literally hundreds spoken inthe participants’ heads. Exploring, understanding andacknowledging this ‘self talk’ is critical for successfuldiscussion. It is important for the students and thefacilitator (teacher) to understand the nature of this‘self talk’ before, during and after the discussion.
Linked to this is the skill of asking questions.When things get heated, students can use questionsas ammunition to score points. These questionsare often loaded with assumptions, judgments, andeven accusations. This can mean the discussion getspolarised and defensive. The best sorts of questions areopen, enquiring, clarifying, and use what has alreadybeen said to frame the question. We recommend thatstudents spend time analysing the nature and purposeof their questions and learn to ask questions that willdeepen their understanding.It is important to move our students into areasof uncertainty, where they are able to see the issuebeyond right and wrong, black and white perspectives.Being able to appreciate the complexities of an issue,to appreciate the ‘grey’ in-between is at the heart ofcritical thinking. Similarly, we need to ensure that ouryoung people are able to test the reliability of theirsources and help them to move beyond taking things atface value. This goes for what they read, see, and hearonline as well as offline. We place so much emphasis on‘getting the right answer’ in our educational culturesthat being comfortable with ambiguity can be quitedaunting for some students.While the teacher-facilitator does not need tobe the ‘expert’ on the topic, it is important that youfeel confident, with a level of background knowledgesufficient to be able to facilitate the discussion. Often,teachers act defensively and are unwilling to exploreanything beyond the surface level of the issue if theydo not have confidence in their own knowledge andanalysis of the issue. To this end, we have created,this year, a set of briefing notes for teachers aroundcontentious issues and with background informationand analysis from the Centre on Religion & Geopolitics.It is our intention that the advice and techniques fromthis document are used with these briefing notes tocreate the right conditions for difficult TING A SAFE SPACE FORDIALOGUE AROUND DIFFICULTTOPICS: PREPARING STUDENTSBEFORETHE DIALOGUEthat we are able to understand the values and ideasthat underpin the opinions of others and this positionsus to be able to ask the right sorts of questionsthat will simultaneously deepen our understanding,while encouraging our interlocutor to explain theirperspective more clearly.The roots of the word ‘discussion’ are the same as‘concussion’ or ‘percussion’. It involves ‘shaking apart’.In discussions about contentious issues we would wantto empower the students to ‘shake’ the issue apart; totest their own and one another’s understandings, andto consider a variety of different perspectives.Dialogue is a little different. The ultimate aim of adialogue is to understand another person’s views andbeliefs better. Dialogue does not seek consensus or toconvince another of a particular viewpoint. The roots ofthe term ‘dialogue’ are from the Greek:DIAthroughLOGOSwordsDialogue means ‘finding meaning through words’.In our Generation Global school work we describedialogue as:An encounter with those who might havedifferent opinions, values and beliefs to myown, dialogue is the process by which I cometo understand the other’s lives, values andbeliefs better and others come to understandmy life, values and beliefs.You can read more about our approach todialogue in The Essentials of Dialogue. You can find adownloadable version here: tials-dialogueIn order to be able to do both of the above(discussion and dialogue) well, your students needto learn the skills and competencies of respectfulchallenge, suspending judgment, and having anauthentic voice.RespectRespect is such an overused and confusing term.What exactly does it mean and what does it look like?In some cultures and traditions, being respectful oftenmeans saying nothing; the requirement to ‘respectyour elders’ can necessitate a younger person holdingin what they are really thinking or feeling about an7
yourself ihtiram nafsu to considering something tobe sacred or sacrosanct. You could use it to referto respect for the law as well as respect for yourown or other people’s dignity. Philippines: Respect in Filipino is galang. To showrespect is to hold another person in esteem. Butthe different cultural groups among the Filipinoswill have different ways of showing it. Most wouldtouch the right hand of their elders to theirforehead when they meet them. Most would usepo and opo when speaking, a term that showsdeference to the other person that one is talkingto. Indonesia: Respect in Indonesian meansmenghormati, literally to honor the elder. It’sconsidered rude to call elders by their namesonly. To show respect Bapak precedes names fora man and Ibu for a woman. Kakak is used beforeaddressing an older brother or sister and the elderregardless of gender. In Indonesian culture it is notaccepted to argue with elders or to look at theireyes when speaking with them.Thus, talking about respect in a discussion ordialogue on a divisive issue is complicated and can bechallenging. It involves thinking about the concept of‘respect’ in a new way for many of the participants.In the context of these sorts of dialogues we needto consider respect for different elements of theencounter: The spaceThe discussionThe participantsThe selfBefore you read on, it is worth you consideringwhat the word ‘respect’ means to you. Write downa meaning or some key words you associate with‘respect’. In asking our global team how this termtranslates into their own languages and cultures welearned: What Can We Learn from these Global Definitions ofthe Term?Pakistan: Respect in Urdu is Iehtraam. Culturallyit manifests in expectations not to call elders bytheir names, speak quietly in front of elders, sitproperly, listen carefully and obey them. Literallyit means admiration felt or shown for someoneor something that you believe has good ideas orqualities.In English, the origins of the term can be found inthe Latin:Italy: Respicere (the verb in Latin) literally meansto “watch over someone”.look at Israel: Kavod is the translation. Literally it containsthe notion of something heavy as opposed totaking things lightly. Albania: Respekt is the esteem for somebodybased on age, merits or his/her qualities. Arabic: The word for respect in Arabic is ihtiram. Itis similar in meaning to the English words respector revere. Its usage can range between respectingREbackSPECERERESPICERElook back at, RESPECTUS RESPECTregardRespect, in its original form, and for our purposesfor difficult discussion, is not about showing deferencebut much more about honest and profound seeing –rather than a casual glance: I am really looking at youagain; really seeing you and really listening to you.This kind of respect is the ultimate goal in anydialogue, but getting there with our young peopleis a journey. You will have to spend some time withyour group thinking about, defining, practicing, andreflecting on respect as you prepare for your difficultdiscussions.8BEFORETHE DIALOGUEissue. We may be expected to respect a person simplybecause of their social standing or authority. Respectcan be demanded as well as freely given. Othercontexts may interpret respect as a kind of ‘gift’ givento others when they interact with one another; a freelygiven gift due to the nature of the interaction or onethat is earned by certain behaviours and attitudes.
“Awareness of the integrity of another’sposition and the impossibility of fullyunderstanding it.”Perhaps ask your students what they think of thisdefinition.Note for teachers: some of your students mightsay – if it’s impossible, why bother? We need to explainthat: It is a process; it’s about moving closer tounderstanding, and that in doing so.It is likely that others will also understand usbetter, but ultimately.We are individual subjects, and we can never shareinternal states. Please refer to Activity 1: Showing Respect1Respecting the SpaceImagine that the space that your discussion takesplace in is a ‘container’. It is a vessel. In this vesselyour students feel safe enough to listen deeply to oneanother, to suspend their judgment, to be vulnerableand to trust one another to help them to understandan issue better. Imagine a giant chalice, cauldron, boat,or bowl, anything that will hold something within it.This is the ‘container’ that needs to be protected. The‘container’, your vessel, can be stretched, cracked,and dented, but it must not be broken; meaning thediscussion can get heated, you can have ideas bouncingoff one another, you can have disagreement but youcannot have arguments that get personal or commentsthat demean groups of people. Neither is the vessel asacred object that needs to be treated with gloves on:don’t impose rules that are so strict that no one feelsthey can be honest.The best way to protect your container is to createground rules together. You are the guardian of thevessel. You can read more about this in the section on1 “David Kantor”, last modified on 30 April 2016, Wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David Kantorground rules and do the activities together prior toembarking on your discussion.BEFORETHE DIALOGUEDavid Kantor1, an American systems psychologist,has a wonderful definition of respect – read this andgive yourself a moment to let this really sink in:How you and your students can protect theV.E.S.S.E.L. for the dialogue:V Viewpoints: Be prepared to hear different ways ofseeing the issue to your own. Your own viewpoints maybe challenged.E Empathy: Try to understand the values and beliefsthat underpin the opinions that others hold.Speak authentically: Make sure you are saying whatyou yourself believe and you are not saying things justbecause someone you admire said something similar, orbecause you want to impress others.SS Suspend judgment: Be aware of your own prejudicesas you enter into the discussion and be conscious ofthese throughout the discussion.E Emergence of new understanding: Be open tochanging your mind. Don’t dig yourself into anintractable decision on the issue but be open toseeing the issue in a different way as you hear otherperspectives.L Listen openly: Have your ears, eyes, mind, and heartopen to the views of others. Use what you hear to formresponses that challenge others without compromisingtheir dignity.2Respecting the DialogueIn addition to respecting the container, the topicand nature of the dialogue should also be respected.Students can show respect for the discussion by: Staying on topicPresenting facts based on research and evidenceand not merely relying on hearsay and myths. Youmay need to explore these terms with students inadvance if they are not familiar with themNot seeking to impose their view on othersBeing honest about what they do not know orwhat they are unsure aboutChanging their minds and showing that they arelooking at an issue in a different way.9
3Respecting the ParticipantsWilliam Isaacs2, the author of Dialogue: The Art ofThinking Together, writes:“Treat the person next to you as a teacher.What is it they have to teach you that youdo not now know? Listening to them in thisway, you discover things that might surpriseyou. This does not mean being blind to gapsin what they might say and what they do,nor does it mean being overly slavish inpointing out their faults.”34Respecting the SelfTo ensure that there is the best possibility ofsuccess with the discussion in terms of participationand inclusivity, remind students of the importanceof them respecting themselves. They need to ensurethey: Are self-awareKnow their triggers (things they might hear thatmight get them agitated)Acknowledge their strengths in a discussionsituationAcknowledge their weaknesses, and are focusedon how to improve these areasEncourage a positive internal dialogue (‘I can dothis even though it is frightening’ rather than, ‘Noone will take my view seriously’)Forgive themselves (and others) when they sayor do something in the discussion that they thenregret2 “Isaacs, William”, Dialogos, 3 Isaacs, William, Dialogue: The Art Of Thinking Together. (New York:Random House, 1999), 117BEFORETHE DIALOGUEOne of the best ways to show that you respectanother person, if we are to define respect as I amlooking at you, really seeing you and really listeningto you, is to be curious about one another’s opinions,values and beliefs. We can show that we respectothers by asking challenging questions that help us tounderstand issues and points of view and beliefs betterand we can treat those who challenge us in this way asmarking us with respect.Please refer to Activity 2: What Does Respect LookLike?Please refer to Activity 3: Is it Respectful?Please refer to Activity 4: Disagreeing RespectfullySuspending JudgmentSuspending judgment is about getting students toacknowledge and identify that they arrive at any givenissue with ‘baggage’. Chances are they will already havehad some experience of the ‘issue’ to be discussed,whether that be a personal experience, reading aboutit in the news, online, or hearing family or communitymembers talk about the issue.For a constructive discussion you need yourstudents to develop an attitude of open-mindedness:this means being open to seeing the issue fromdifferent perspectives, appreciating that it might bemore complicated than they first thought.It is easy enough to muddle up ‘what we say’ with‘who we are’. For some young people, taking a stanceand trying to convince others to join their way ofthinking is a matter of self-esteem. We can feel thatwhen someone attacks our idea, they are attackingus. So to give up our idea is almost like committing akind of social suicide (Isaacs). But these positions damup the discussion and leave no room for gaining newperspectives.Before embarking on the discussion, get yourstudents to consider the following: Have I already staked out a position?Do I have a very fixed opinion on this issue? Whatis it?How sure am I that I am right?What are my biases on this issue?Do I think that there are groups of people whodisagree with me?What do I think about these people?Am I stereotyping them in any way?What are my prejudices founded on?Am I in a bubble?Do my community and my friends hold the sameview as me?Have I ever considered a different way of lookingat the issue?Do I only follow people online who have the sameviews as me?10
Comfort with UncertaintyIn an educational climate that prizes ‘the rightanswers’ it is hard to get students to be comfortablewith what they do not know and what they are notsure about. From the outset, you will need to ensurethat your students are comfortable with phrases like,‘I don’t know’ and ‘I am not sure’. To enable them todo this, students need to go back to their sources ofinformation and critically evaluate them for accuracyand bias. This is crucial if your students are going toexplore the issue fully and from a multitude of differentperspectives.To help them to understand how their opinionshave been formed, you may want to work throughActivity 5: How Sure Am I?Black, White, and the Grey In-BetweenIt is important to explore uncertainty further inorder to move your students from a closed-minded tomore open-minded mindset. If students dig themselvesinto a position of certainty, it will hinder their ability tohear openly what others are saying about the issue andto explore what is behind their viewpoints.Ask your students to complete Activity 6: Black,White and Grey In-Between. They should spend morethan a few moments on this. Ideally, it should besomething that they come back to time and again asthey prepare for the dialogue. It may also be a usefultool for them to reflect on during the dialogue or atthe end of the dialogue.Exploring Influences and What LiesBeneathIn order to suspend judgment and speak with anauthentic voice your students need to have exploredtheir influences on this issue. They will have begunto do this if they have done Activity 5. The largerquestion to be asked of the students here is - who ownsmy opinions?It is strongly recommended that your studentsexplore the role of the Internet in influencing theiropinions. There is an excellent section (Chapter 4) inEssentials of Dialogue on this. Student Activity 7: TheGood Ship ‘My Opinions’.BEFORETHE DIALOGUE Is my position on the issue tied to my identity?Is it expected of me by others to hold a certainposition on the issue?Am I being unpatriotic or unfaithful if I do nottake a particular stance?Understanding TriggersA risk in a difficult discussion is that your studentsmay stop thinking rationally about the issue and startreacting to what they believe is being said. This canlead to a breakdown in the discussion and in turn toarguments and students falling out as the discussionbecomes much more about the person and not theissue.To help your students become aware of this and toprotect them against ‘reaction’ rather than ‘response’ask them to complete Student Activity 8: Response vsReaction.As responses tend to be emotional rather thanrational, reacting in this way does not get us very farin understanding the issue(s) under discussion furtheror understanding why people might hold varyingpositions. Emotional reactions lead to conflict notunderstanding. See the diagram on p.36 (and considersharing this with your students).In addition to understanding ‘response’ from‘reaction’ it is worth investing some time so thatstudents can also identify what is going to get theminto a state of heightened emotion prior to thediscussion. What are their triggers with this issue? Arethere key words that upset them? Some examples orstories? Certain actors / players associated with thisissue?Please refer to Activity 9: TriggersPlease refer to Activity 10: InstabilityListening“You know. I have always prepared myself to speak.But I have never prepared myself to listen.”4Listening deeply to others when they are speakingis not only a skill but a discipline. It involves masteringour ‘internal commentary’ and moving to a state of4 Isaacs, William, Dialogue: The Art Of Thinking Together. (New York:Random House, 1999), 8311
aware of their own ‘baggage’ and ‘triggers’ as theycome to the discussion then they will probably justneed time and reminders during the course of thediscussion to refocus on these things. Get the studentsto practice reading their internal thermometers asrecommended in Activity 9.The Chinese symbol ‘to listen’ can teach us plentyabout how to listen deeply:Listening deeply and active listening: The key to activelistening is to demonstrate that you are listening. Howcan students do this?EARSEYESUNDIVIDED ATTENTIONHEARTMoreover, the Indian philosopher Krishnamurti saidthis of listening:“I do not know if you have ever examinedhow you listen, it does not matter towhat, whether to a bird, to the wind in theleaves, to the rushing waters, or how youlisten in a dialogue with yourself, to yourconversation with intimate friends, your wifeor your husband. If we try to listen we findit extraordinarily difficult, because we arealways projecting our opinions and ideas, ourprejudices, our background, our inclinations,our impulses; when they dominate, we hardlylisten at all to what is being said. In thatstate there is no value at all. One listens andtherefore learns, only in a state of attention,a state of silence, in which this wholebackground is in abeyance, is quiet; then, itseems to me, it is possible to communicate.”Please refer to Activity 11: Conditioning Us Not toListen Well1Active Listening SkillsThe key is to give the person speaking your fullattention. In order to do this, the self must be quietedand as much focus as possible must be given to thosewho are speaking.‘Quieting’ the self: To some extent a lot of this workhas been done if students have worked through theactivities in ‘suspending judgment’. If students are Making sure their body language shows opennessand attentivenessLetting people finish their thoughts withoutinterruptionParaphrasing back to check understandingReflecting emotion – ‘you are feeling angry’Reflecting content – ‘you feel angry becausethese things have happened to you’Asking for more detailsShowing how you agree or disagreeShowing interest in what they are saying In the Essentials of Dialogue (pp.21 and 22) there isa great mnemonic for listening:L LOOK interested, get interestedIINVOLVE yourself by respondingS STAY on targetT TEST your understandingEEVALUATE what you hearNNEUTRALISE your feelingsIf you feel that your students need to practiceskills of active listening then spend some time workingthrough activities like We’re all Interviewees, AskingResponse Questions, Active Listening, and ASKer Analysisin the Essentials of Dialogue, pp. 25 – 28.2Resilient ListeningEncourage your students to become
Apr 30, 2016 · ‘Difficult Dialogue’ resources. These are composed of two discrete sections. The first is this book – Difficult Dialogue in the Classroom, which builds upon the work outlined in the Essentials of Dialogue, to outline an approach to addressing such issues using tried and tested
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