PURPLE COW WORKSHOP 1 By Ian Robinson The Purple Cow

We get nowhere without prayer. This doesn't come easy. Each person must grow and regrow their own patterns of regular prayer. EXERCISE ON BLESSING (adapted with permission from Larry Crabb and Dan Allender Encouragement: The Key To Caring, Zondervan, Grand Rapids, 1974) Questions: 1. "Think of one or two people who have influenced you for God the most." Give people time to think of their names. 2. "Hands up if they were a person of prayer – that is, a person who knew how to pray alone and did so?" A majority usually put up their hand. CONCLUDE: What does this exercise show you about how you influence people? Take time to discuss how to grow in prayer, the difficulties of loneliness and habits, the need to do the work of prayer. There is "No Mission without Intercession". 4. The Gift of Authenticity ARE YOU AUTHENTIC OR ROLE-BOUND? Credibility is the witness of those who are not paid to say it, don’t have to say it. Many people are waiting for the ordained clergy to do it all. (Define the term "laity" in the course of explaining the following exercise.) Notice that they are asking the one person who is paid to tend the church goers to do the work of reaching the non-churched! Discuss: why does this matter so much? Research shows that there are four ways by which people have been influenced to come to faith in Christ: (a) a media / citywide campaign, a crusade,TV, radio, newspaper. (b) a full-time christian worker, clergy, priest, pastor, minister. (c) a lay person in their immediate world (d) when God ‘s Spirit simply drops a "compelling" experience into someone's life. You may be a mixture of all four but which one had the most influence on you? Ask people to put up their hand to one of them. The results are always a few in (a), (b) or (d), but the clear majority in (c). Key Question: "WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT FAITH-SHARING WHERE THE MOST EFFECT MUST BE FELT?" Next question: What in your experience makes a person “authentic”? DISCUSS (a) It looks as though ordinary, everyday, garden-variety, scared-to-try-it, don't know-all-the-answers christians, who are "not paid to say that sort of thing" are on the front line of the Kingdom's work in our society. By Ian Robinson Page 8

(b) This has implications for the credibility of church programmes. Unless churches properly equip and support lay people AND unless lay people take responsibility to be witnesses, they are cutting off the future of the church by a large majority. (c) If a church seeks to be engaging with its community, it can tune in to the kind of support and the kind of events that their lay people WILL be able to bring their people to. The effectiveness of their engagement can be measured by seeing whether the church people ARE actually bringing anyone along. (d) The key question is, NOT "Can you invite your friends to this?" BUT "What can you invite your friends along to?" And work from there. Resist the temptation to "beef it up a bit" with religious content. You would be underestimating how powerful is the witness of a group of authentic Christians. 5. The Gift of Community ARE YOU CONNECTED WITH A COMMUNITY? Discuss this: There is a saying “it takes a whole village to raise one child”. Your church is that village. How is it so for you? Relationships across the age groups is inspiring. Someone who cares when times are tough – that is the time when people find out what they (and you) have really got. Describe your most memorable experience of belonging in a community? Where does the balance lie – are the benefits of belonging coming more from the organism of community or from the organisation of community? How does the social value of individualism influence your community? What do you feel about this statement? ‘When an individual who is supported by the church is caring for another in the wider community, that other person is being cared for by the church.’ 6. The Gift of Respect DO YOU RESPECT YOURSELF AND OTHERS? Read 1 Peter 3.15-16. It is unwise to read Matt28.20 as the only instruction on faith sharing – it could make you domineering. 1 Peter 3 presents a clear and simple ‘how to’: ‘singleness of heart, readiness, gentleness and respect.’ Everyone deserves respect. Everyone is a sacred site. Not just your friends. Not just the prestige people. Not just the beautiful people. You may not like their smell, their views, their religion, their clothing, their music , their sexuality, their living arrangements, their politics, but you MUST communicate your respect for them. You may not like them or trust them, but even simple courtesy and listening will demonstrate respect. Don’t be side tracked by the things you don’t agree with, first give someone your affirmation and respect. I don’t mean your false smile. I don’t mean become their doormat. I don’t mean false easygoing agreement with things you don’t agree with. I mean healthy compromise, healthy differences, forming common ground. By Ian Robinson Page 9

Ask, and take an interest in what interests them, as far as you are able. Everyone is a gift from God to the planet. They have come in to your orbit. It is up to you to discover that gift of God. What sort of listening fits with this measure of respect? Read Galatians 5.22-26, then ask yourself whether your faith-sharing (alone or with others)– Can you see: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. crucified passions and desires, in step with the Spirit, not conceited, provoking and envying ? 7. The Gift of Hospitality DO YOU GIVE GENEROUSLY OF YOUR SELF? a. In Jesus life as recorded in the gospels so much takes place around sharing food. The idea of a ‘welcome’ is one description of salvation in Jn 1.12. Hospitality is also done through respect, listening and other things above. Share your experiences now - what has been your best or worst experience of hospitality – given or received? What qualities or actions made it best/worse? Discuss. b. There is a sense of equality in the best hospitality, as illustrated in the phrase ‘make yourself at home’. So don’t work at being too impressive. Don’t provide everything others could possibly want, because it creates distance. Your hospitality was supposed to shrink distance! If your house is a bit messy, invite people in – their house is just like yours and you won’t be pretending anymore. c. There is a solidarity in struggle. It is amazing how many of the churches' internal struggles and our own individual struggles are mirrored by those around us. We must not pretend that we are doing better than we are, or we quickly lost integrity. Sometimes we have a lot to learn, but we would be amazed how much our slender learnings, specially when we are still not out of the woods ourselves, are appreciated by others in their struggles. Perhaps it is because we still face the question - as though there is Truth and Hope available to us. d. Hospitality is single-minded about loving God and people – that is integrity. If we win an argument by being manipulative, for instance, we have lost the person because we have lost integrity. We can live with integrity, even though we fall short, we are not perfect. Integrity is acknowledging that we might be wrong, and where necessary, that we were wrong "Integrity" is not perfection - it is never giving up. e. Hospitality is real. Be on about something real. Ask people: “how are you really?” They will be shocked that someone even wants to know the answer to the question. Just asking is a gift, but do insist that you want the answer, even though like our best mate the Good Samaritan it may cost you. If you pay attention to each person fairly and kindly, and if you are doing something with your life that makes a difference, you demonstrate a real faith in a real God in the real world. Discussion When does "integrity" become "self-righteous"? By Ian Robinson Page 10

Tell of a time when a person you know lost integrity in your eyes. What importance do you currently give to hospitality in your own corner of life, OR in the life you share with others at home or at work or in your neighbourhood? How do you feel about sharing with another your state of struggles? Are you a perfectionist? Do you try too hard to impress? On the other hand, can you be bothered to do something extra that makes a visitor feel like an honoured guest? Prayer Exercise about ‘the Gifts We Bring’ Here are two questions to stop and pray and make notes about in the light of the gifts. We will spend 15 mins in prayer about this. The leader should devise this according to local customs, and finish with a spoken prayer all together. Hand out pens and paper if necessary. What One or TWO changes are YOU motivated to build into your love and lifestyle? (e.g. Are you too busy to ever be available? Don’t just get hung up on that question - Do you speak first and listen later? Do you talk church-speke? Is your faith not touching where they live, not scratching where they itch?) Pray together about this now, if necessary in silence, but better if it is open sharing. By Ian Robinson Page 11

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3. HEARING YOU GOAL To open up many entry points in people’s everyday lives in which one may bear witness. This exercise uses a mini case-study approach, not to solve the questions but to open them up. The goal is to explore the entry point, not final answers. In its current form it is designed to be used by a group of Christians. INTRODUCTION Christians often lament that the bulk of their friends and family are just totally disinterested and comfortably self-sufficient without God. Are there no ways of getting through to their hearts? This exercise says, "Yes, lots of ways!" But not by wanting to start with the answers, when we haven’t actually heard this person’s questions yet. We must learn to open things up. "Entry points" are the times where the heart is open to something new about life. It is when someone's world view and lifestyle may be open for re-consideration. No one is totally closed, because life never stands still. The opportunities are there, probably non verbal, as you listen to people and watch their actions. As a friend, your sincere response especially in the form of an open question, will be appreciated. It is usually assumed in Christian thinking that to get through to people is to focus on their "needs". You may have heard it said: ‘Find a need and fill it.’ But this is inadequate in three ways - firstly, because many have no felt needs, secondly, because some people are VERY needy and you are not building them into beautiful people if all you can do is "meet needs". Behind every need is another need arising. Thirdly, we do not meet their needs, we only help a little. An exclusive focus on ‘needs’ is very inadequate when it does not build up the other person. (Read Galatians 6.2-5) In this exercise we discover four kinds of entry points. The Highs, The Hurts, The Hopes and The History of people all provide us with ways to "connect" with them, possibly to engage them to go further into discoveries in the gospel. Putting it briefly, here are the four kinds of entry point. Hand out the worksheets and offer to work slowly through it, beginning with the right hand column. The leader can illustrate each one with one brief story. By Ian Robinson Page 13

HIGHS – LIFE’S GREAT EXPERIENCES Experiences of awe or wonder. We can reframe this as a creator’s purpose or design in the world, as the gifts of life. Maybe people have an urge towards thankfulness but not realize that there is someone to thank. eg. Childbirth, Marriage /love/ friendship , the beauty of nature, deep peace, etc. Funerals can be more awesome than tragic for some. Our reframing must be affirming and leading. They all speak powerfully that there is ‘something more’ AND that it is within reach of our living space. Open it up for them by reframing, with respect, how you see their experience. HURTS - LIFE'S WORST EXPERIENCES AND NEEDS Hurts may be present in one of three kinds of entry point. Their hurt may be a disillusionment with their present belief system OR it may be a cry for help and strength OR they may not be ready for any new perspective/reframe and they just need OUR help through it all. eg. Release from ongoing problems (drugs, abuse, family situations), near death experiences, loneliness or aloneness due to dislocation, ongoing struggles (eg. unemployment, homelessness, injustices to do with law, poverty), depersonalisation by technology, fears in a world of change and threat, crises (eg. marriage breakup, child’s illness). Our reframing must be helpful and attentive without being patronising. The Hurts say powerfully that there are illusions and enemies AND that we need help to see it, to find our purpose and to make it through. We need to engage with the hurt and work within it, not avoid it. See ‘The Question of Suffering” exercise in the MYW Series THE STORY. Affirm the love that drives the grief. HOPES - LIFE'S NORMAL PURSUITS AND DESIRES Hopes are normal parts of just being a person, engaging in the normal run of life, sensing the currents of those normal inner needs and drives. These too are opportunities to show the gospel is full of abundant life, and our reframing must be FOB (fun or beautiful)eg. Sharing the music and cultural activities that lie close to a person's heart. Desire for wholesome marriage and family. To love and to be loved. To be secure. To be significant (purpose, role). To be somebody (identity in relationships). Desire for moral guidance. Desire for fun, friendship, exercise. Desire for creative expression. Desire to belong in a community. Search for meaning – even if in cults, occult, new awareness, etc. Our attempts to open up the question and reframe their experience must be both affirming and discerning. Hopes speak powerfully that life is fragile yet it powerfully wants to grow. HISTORY - THE MYTHS, SELF-DESCRIPTION OR CULTURAL OUTLOOKS The Histories of a people-group are loaded with both openings and blockages to the gospel. They provide powerful images and "loaded words" which point to some heartfelt longings and past struggles. They may equally be more a "dream" than something actually practised. Gospel communication can pick this up, by using these creative images about Jesus or about Christian life. Because they are specific to a sub-culture they apply to some people and not to others. They will open up some, but are possibly even offensive to others. Therefore use them wisely: Listen well first (recall the Bible study from Acts 17 how Paul listened well first and overcame his own offense to become affirmative). Because a direct attack will only reinforce defenses, use parables, images and indirect stories. Some examples of Histories By Ian Robinson Page 14

The love of "Mateship" in a society where men are poor at relationships eg. Jesus is your best mate (some christians are offended by this statement while others find it positively refreshing). Church people are real mates. The love of "the Aussie Battler". Jesus was a battler. Christians battle on far love. The love of "The Gamble". Australian are the world's top gamblers. Can you win by trusting God? Pascal's wager - If christians are right and I reject the gospel. I will lose (by going to hell). If christians are wrong and I accept the gospel, I have lost nothing in the wager. So I will accept the gospel, for this is the only wager that can win. The commitment to "The Investment". Australians have a dream of investing their lives in a home of their own (mortgaged) eg. Invest your life in a secure return. The growing focus on Anzac Day "no greater love" –who was the one who led the way? EXERCISE The examples above refer to Australian entry points, but are of value to others. Each subculture can name its own examples. Let’s do an exercise to achieve that. Leaders photocopy the worksheet (below) and hand it out. a. Explain the worksheet. Columns I-II Set the Scene. Columns III-IV get us into the heartsituation of people, sensitive to the entry points. Column IV reminds us how to act according to the needs of the other person, not out of our own needs. Columns V-VI are practical actions guiding us around from the entry point. Column V asks what we might say and do initially, leading on to column VI. Why think in a ‘leading on’ way? One quick word or act is not enough. When in column VI we ask ‘what Jesus would say and do’, we are saying we would also seek to say and do a similar thing. It may be right away, it may be a little later, but we do not want to let the entry point be the end point. b. Walk people through the first example, gradually asking for more input from them. Then turn it over to them to do the rest. c. Do this exercise in small groups. Start each group at a different case and then ask them to go down the list and cycle through to the top, doing as many examples as possible in thirty minutes. This will mean, when you come back together for discussion, every case study has received good input. If time is short or the group is small, do it all together but try to get comments from different people not just the same people. TOGETHER FOR DISCUSSION Run quickly through each case. Invite all who have a thought to add it in, case by case, firstly from group discussion then any others. They have already felt the weight of each situation in small groups, therefore, the discussion now focusses on opening up more ideas. If they have not been in small groups, but you are doing this in one full group, go more slowly so that they feel the weight of the situation at heart-level, and appreciate their own vulnerability. LEADER’S NOTES ABOUT THIS EXERCISE Acknowledgment: this exercise is heavily adapted with permission from an excellent publication by Scripture Union "Care to Say Something"/" Something to Say". By Ian Robinson Page 15

Most people respond readily to this "mini-case-study" approach. They must be kept, however, to the task of evangelism, rather than just giving comfort or just being critical. Entry points must not be end points. These are terribly brief examples. Everyone therefore imagines each case differently, so there are limits on how far you can go towards ‘the right answer’. This does not matter - emphasise that each person needs to find what they would do or say, and that the sharing of ideas here and now will raise their capacity for a range of responses that will suit their situation. This exercise can be extended indefinitely by using their own examples. Small groups often bring a situation or a question from their living week. Some people like to develop this into a role play. Some individuals even try "to play the devil's advocate". It is not a good idea in this Workshop to allow either of these. The focus in MYW is genuine openness and "having a go". Adopting roles will not help to press home this major goal. CONCLUSION: We have found a pathway into a wide range of entry points, if we are really hearing what our acquaintances are saying. By Ian Robinson Page 16

MYW2.3 HEARING YOU WORKSHEET MYW I The situation as it presents II What they said or did? III What does this show is going on at their heart? IV How does this make you vulnerable ? V What could you say or do first? VI What would Jesus say or do? HIGHS Young couple with first baby “Isn’t it magic!” Wonder at this gift Magic? Childless? Not celebratory? What a gift! A gift/card with a blessing He welcomed them and blessed them HURTS Man recently became single again She just walked out, no reasons, selfish #@*. Anger, grief, puzzled Don’t like anger? Too private? You are on her side? Woman has received a big promotion ‘You can reach any goal if you want it enough’ ‘It’s like a dream. We own our own home.’ ‘At the temple I just started crying. It was wonderful.’ HOPES HISTORY HIGHS HURTS HOPES HISTORY Family has just bought their first home. Young person just back from trip t

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