Authenticmanhood - Adobe
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A MAN AND HIS STORYPublished by Authentic ManhoodCopyright 2012 Fellowship Associates Inc.First Printing 2012No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical,including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system, except as may be expresslypermitted in writing by the publisher. Requests to duplicate any aspect of this training guide should be addressed inwriting to Authentic Manhood: 12115 Hinson Road, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72212; (501) 975-5050.ISBN: 978-1-4158-7552-0Item: 005537107Project Management & Art Direction: Brian JonesDesign: Mike Robinson, Details CommunicationsEditors: Rick Caldwell, Grant Edwards, Brian Jones, Rachel Lindholm, Amanda Magdefrau, Steve Snider, RebekahWallace, Lindsey WoodwardContributors: Hunter Beaumont, John Bryson, Bryan Carter, Chip Dodd, Grant Edwards, Brian Goins, Tierce Green,Grant Guffin, Brian Jones, Cliff Jordan, Jeff D. Lawrence, Eric Mason, James Pecht, Will StacyAuthentic Manhood, Men’s Fraternity and 33 The Series are registered trademarks of Fellowship Associates Inc.To order additional copies of this resource, go to authenticmanhood.com or contact Lifeway Church Resources online atlifeway.com or visit a Lifeway Christian Store nearest you.Printed in the United States of AmericaDistributed by:Authentic Manhood12115 Hinson Rd, Suite 200Little Rock, AR 72113Leadership and Adult PublishingLifeWay Church ResourcesOne LifeWay PlazaNashville, TN 37234-0175
TABLE ofCONTENTS04introAUTHENTIC MANHOODHow to Experienceas an Individual or GroupThe Importance of Being in a Community of MenFrom a Weekly Gathering to a Global MovementA Movement that Grows Authentic Men and Plants ChurchesThe Presenters0925Feature: Home Run HeartbreakPresenter Insight: The Power of StoryMoving Beyond the PastSession OutlineTHE RED ZONE: The Rest of the Story.Feature: Knock, KnockPresenter Insight: UnremarkableJust Like YouSession OutlineTHE RED ZONE: Classic Father-Son MoviessessiononeLOOKING BACKsessiontwoDAD4563Feature: MomPresenter Insight: Did She Really Say That?Letter to MomSession OutlineTHE RED ZONE: Mom’s the Word!Feature: Trading In What Hurts for What HealsPresenter Insight: Feeling is HealingSession OutlineBuddy GriffinTHE RED ZONE: e: A Duck Hunting DisciplerPresenter Insight: Getting Your Heart in the GameCigar Shop CommunitySession OutlineTHE RED ZONE: IsolationFeature: Don’t Be a Spiritual TumbleweedPresenter Insight: Finding HeartConnect with Your HeartSession OutlineTHE RED ZONE: UnashamedAction PlansessionfiveALL-ALONEsessionsixHEART
INTROHow to Experienceas an Individual or Group33 The Series can be viewed on DVD,downloaded from authenticmanhood.com,or experienced via mobile apps. Any ofthese three delivery systems can be utilizedby groups or individuals. One of the greatthings about this series is the variety ofways it can be used and/or presented.The series is organized in a way thatprovides flexibility and offers a varietyof options on how the material can beexperienced. 33 is organized into sixtopically-themed volumes that include sixsessions each. Volumes include topics ona man’s design, story, traps, parenting,marriage and career. You can choose tocommit to one volume/topic at a time,by limiting a particular experience to sixsessions, or you can combine multiplevolumes into one expanded experiencethat includes more sessions (12, 18,24, 30, or 36). You can also choose anycombination thereof.However you choose to experience 33,the manhood principles and practicalinsights taught in each volume areessential for every man on the journey toAuthentic Manhood.PA G E 4
The Importance of Beingin a Community of MenClimbing a mountain aloneis a difficult and evendangerous undertaking.Attempting to climb the mountainof manhood alone is also notrecommended. Just like a mountainclimber needs to belay or connect withanother man for safety and support, weneed other men around us to help usstay on course with our manhood.Having other men deeply connectedto us becomes invaluable when weslip, struggle, or stray off course in ourmanhood journey.To fully enjoy 33, experience it incommunity with other men. The goalof this study is not just to fill in theblanks of your Training Guide, but alsoto fill in the blanks of your life. Havingother men walk through the experiencewith you is key to moving this materialfrom the pages of your Training Guideto the pages of your life.MANHOOD COMMUNITY1Provides encouragement. Every man needs other mencheering for him and encouraging him on his journey toAuthentic Manhood.2Gives you additional insight. Having other men aroundyou helps you get a much better perspective on your life.Others can help you discover your blind spots and avoidcostly mistakes.3Brings constructive criticism. We all need men in ourlives who will be honest with us to help us become bettermen.4Makes your journey richer. Sharing life with a communityof men makes the great times feel like a celebration andprovides much needed support when life gets rough.No one can force you to open up your life and work to make aconnection with another man. Although it can be challengingand frightening, it’s well worth the risk.A M A N A N D H I S S TO R Y PA G E 5
INTROFrom a Weekly Gatheringto a Global MovementSeveral years ago, Dr. RobertLewis responded to the desireof a handful of men who werehungering for more than a Bible study.They wanted a map for manhood – adefinition of what it meant to be a man.They needed help to leap over the hurdlesthey were encountering in life.churches to prisons, on military basesand the field of battle, at NASA and evenon a space shuttle mission. Whereverthe messages were heard, the challengeremained the same: to call men tostep up and follow biblical manhoodmodeled by Jesus Christ.Robert responded by launching a weekly gathering calledMen’s Fraternity, challenging men to join him at six o’clockeach Wednesday morning for 24-weeks. From the depth ofhis own personal experience and the pages of Scripture,Robert developed what came to be known as the Men’sFraternity series:The Men’s Fraternity curriculum wascreated on the front lines where menlive, written in the trenches in responseto men who pleaded for purpose anddirection. It has proven to be the mostwidely used and effective material onAuthentic Manhood available today.ĕǍ # Ǎ 0 ./Ǎ!*-Ǎ 0/# )/ Ǎ )#**ĕǍ )) )"Ǎ /Ǎ *-&ǍėǍ *(ĕǍ # Ǎ - /Ǎ 1 )/0-What began with a few men huddling up grew into a weeklygathering of more than 300 men. In just a few years, localattendance at Men’s Fraternity climbed to more than athousand men.The message of Authentic Manhood began to spreadand soon exploded into a global movement impactingmore than a million men in more than 20,000 locationsworldwide – from locker rooms to boardrooms, fromPA G E 6What began as a weekly meeting ofmen searching for answers to theirmanhood questions has grown into abold movement that has dramaticallyimpacted the lives of men, theirfamilies and communities.
A Movement that GrowsAuthentic Men and PlantsChurchesFor over a decade, Fellowship Associates has helped over a million men all over the world todiscover the life of truth, passion and purpose they were created to live through AuthenticManhood materials. During that same decade, Fellowship Associates has been directing a churchplanting residency program that has been recognized as one of the most effective church plantingefforts in the world.The proceeds from the sale of Authentic Manhood materials have helped underwrite the planting of56 (and growing) strategic churches throughout the United States as well as in Canada, Hong Kong,Dubai, Guatemala, Poland, and Spain. Map of U.S. Church Plants Each star represents a church plant inthe United StatesA M A N A N D H I S S TO R Y PA G E 7
INTROThe PresentersBRYAN CARTERTIERCE GREENJOHN BRYSONBryan Carter taught the originalMen’s Fraternity curriculumto a group of more than 800men over a three-year period atConcord Church. Additionally,he’s been a frequent speaker atlocal and international churches,conferences and events.Tierce Green teaches theprinciples of Authentic Manhoodto well over a thousand meneach week at a gathering called # Ǎ 0 ./. He is also one of theteaching pastors in the bullpenfor his Senior Pastor, Kerry Shook.Seeing firsthand the impactthe original Men’s Fraternitycurriculum had on his own life,John Bryson decided to teachthe material himself. In the yearssince, he’s led thousands of menthrough the basic ideas of biblicalmanhood.Bryan is the Senior Pastor ofConcord Church in Dallas, Texas.He is the author of a 28-daydevotional book entitled, - /Ǎ 3 / / *).ďǍBryanalso contributed to the book # /Ǎ 2*Ǎ # / Ǎ )Ǎ*!Ǎ * Ǎ-) Ǎ!-*(Ǎ ' &Ǎ )Ǎ*!Ǎ * Đcoauthored by Dr. Joel Gregoryand Dr. Bill Crouch.A recreational basketball player,Bryan is a fan of the NBA’s DallasMavericks.Bryan and his wife Stephanieare the parents of two daughters,Kaitlyn and Kennedy, and oneson, Carson.PA G E 8Tierce is the Executive Pastorof Small Groups at WoodlandsChurch in The Woodlands, Texas.Tierce has written curriculum forStudent Life, North AmericanMission Board and LifeWay. Hismost recent project is a 12-weekseries for men called "#/Ǎ '0 đǍ *( Ǎ # )".Ǎ - Ǎ *-/#Ǎ "#/ )"Ǎ *-ďA lifelong Dallas Cowboys fan,Tierce’s favorite activities includelandscaping, good food andconversation.He and his wife Dana have onedaughter, Anna.John is a co-founding teachingpastor of Fellowship Memphis inMemphis, Tennessee.In 2010, he completed his Doctorof Ministry from Gordon-ConwellTheological Seminary. John isalso the author of *'' " Ǎ 4Đa curriculum for college students,and travels the country consultingand investing in churches, churchplanters, leaders and new ideas.A native of Harlan, Kentucky,John played baseball at AsburyCollege.He and his wife Beth have 5 kids:Brooke, Beck, Bo, Boss and Blair.
SESSIONLooking BackSESSION ONE Training GuideTHIS SERIES CAN ALSO BE EXPERIENCED IN THEAPPVolume 2A M A N A N D H I S S TO R Y PA G E 91
Home Runby Chip DoddPA G E 1 0
My name isChip Dodd.I have worked in the world of restoration ofmen’s hearts for over 25 years. I have a PhDand am a licensed professional. The words youare about to read I mean, and I live.The life we are meant to have is not just aboutintellect, willpower or morality as much as itis about giving our hearts to the God who lovesus and to the people who need us. In so doing,we ourselves can be blessed to live fully, lovedeeply and lead well.evening was calm. The day was finished. Lifewas good. From the backseat my youngest sonWilliam said, “Dad, do you remember when Ihit the home run at McKnight Field?” I heardhim clearly, but wanted to say, “What?” as if Imisunderstood so that maybe he would say,“Never mind” or “Nothing.” You see, I knew thathe had not actually hit a home run but a ball thatbounced over the fence. He wished deeply thatthe hit could be a home run and was seeking myaffirmation of his “success.”His brother, Tennyson, had already hit a passelof home runs that summer and had stowed theballs away in a drawer in his bedroom, with theHeartbreakWe cannot give what we do not know and donot have. We have to be able to know the heartand use the language of the heart to be ableto give heart and fully understand our story.God wants to give us an abundant life, yet wehave to show up to receive it with our hearts inour hands.What follows below isan abridged story frommy book, The PerfectLoss. I wrote the bookas a testimony of whatGod can do with asurrendered heart.When myyoungest son, William, was eightyears old and oldest son Tennyson was ten,my wife and I and the boys were driving homeone Friday night after going out to eat. Thetrophies from the team’s championships. Healso had a nickname, T-Bone, which becamememorable to other boys and interested parents.I said to William truthfully and gently, “No.” Then,he tried again, with a little more urgency in hisvoice, “Yeah, Dad, you remember. I hit the balland it bounced over the fence and everybodythought it was a home run, but really it bouncedover, but it was a home run. You remember.”I felt more fear and a dawning pain ofcompassion pulling at my heart. I slowly said,“No, William, I don’t remember that.”After hearing me say, “No,” William sat for asecond; then he screamed from the backseat,“Don’t say that! Don’t say that! Yes, I did; youremember!” The silence in the car was heavy anda thousand words of heart sat on a tipping point,A M A N A N D H I S S TO R Y PA G E 1 1
to either be brought into the light or to fall intothe dark of unsettled shadows and squasheddreams. My little eight-year old son beckonedme to meet him in his expression of pain whilehe was telling me to leave him alone.The part of me that just didn’t want to deal withthis and didn’t know what to do wanted to runpulled away with a message of contempt. I satthere seeing the back of him.Then, I said the simplest, most obvious hopefulprayer I could imagine. “William, do youbelieve that you have to hit home runs to besomebody?”Before I knew it, an anguishedcry rose from within my eightyear old. “What do you think?”he cried and then the tearsrushed forward as his torso fellover onto his thighs, and hishead rested against his clenchedhands. “What do you think? All I ever hear is‘T-Bone, T-Bone, T-Bone.’ I’m nobody. Theydon’t even know my name,” he wailed. A groanemerged with chest-wracking tears as his ribcage shook. “I’ll never be anybody ‘til I can hit ahome run.” I was leaning forward with him. Histears dropped like rain on the old red bricks,turning each spot black.I love you for you.away from William’s pain—ignore him or “teachhim about life.” I just wanted to fix it by tellinghim something that I didn’t know to be true:“You will hit a home run next time.” I wantedto postpone his agony by pretending a gushingcut was just a scratch. I wanted to attack whatI could not control, shut him down with my owndenial about life’s outcomes and tell him totoughen up. I wanted to give him a resignationpill—the infamous fix-all—“Life’s not fair, so getover it and get on with it.” This half-truth alwaysworks to shame hope into a corner. I said noneof these things.We drove home in silence. I hurt inside aboutmy young son. I knew pain. I knew what it waslike to hide my heart, to pour contempt uponhope, to mock the risk of vulnerability, and tolose dreams without grieving. My William was inpain. I knew he needed someone to fight for himso he could have himself back and his destiny–to show up emotionally and spiritually.We arrived home while I was having thesethoughts. As we got out of the vehicle andheaded toward the back door, I said, “William,stay out here with me; let’s sit out here.” Hesaid, “No, sir.” I sat down where I believe Godhad designed for us to sit, on our back porch,looking out over our courtyard of flowers andbushes on an old church pew.William said, “No” again, then sat down, theway someone sits when they are still standingup on the inside. We sat there. He, staring outinto the dark, full of pain, silent. I, full of pain,scared, wanting and locked out. I reached outmy hand to touch the back of his shoulder. HePA G E 1 2I slowly reached out my hand and touched hisshoulder; this time his body melted againstmy leg as I leaned over him with a heavy heart.After a time of crying hard, he breathed thebreath that is the rest of the grieving; I said,“William, William, I don’t care whether youever hit a home run or even play baseball. Youare William. Your worth is yours, your gifts areyours; you are your own kind of ball player. Youwill hit a home run when it’s time, or your giftswill play themselves out in many other ways.I love you for you. You have got to be William.I know you want to hit home runs. I know youhurt. But you are made to be William.”Resting against my leg with the side of hisface turned onto my knee, he looked tired, andrested, and like William. Some of the words Ispoke went into the openings of his heart. Mostof them probably just disappeared, but the lovewasn’t lost, nor his struggle for truthfulnesswasted.We talked quietly a little more. He said after abit that he was ready to go inside. I asked if heminded if I prayed. Afterwards, as we enteredthe house off the porch, Sonya and Tennysonwere coming into the same room. Williamsaw Tennyson, moved to him quickly, put his
arms around him and said from way inside himself, “I love you,Tennyson.” There they stood, arms around each other; the onewho walked in pain proclaiming love to the one who, at the time,walked in victory. “I love you, too, William,” were Tennyson’ssimple words. William had his heart back and his voice with it. Iwish that none of it had to happen, but even more I was thankfulthat I had the heart to step into my love.One of the longest journeys a man can take is eighteen inches,from his head to his heart. He moves from figuring to feelingso he can become all of himself. By becoming able to identify,explore and express what he is feeling, a man becomes moreaccessible to himself, others and God.As men, we must bring our hearts to the surface in order todiscover and tell the stories of our lives. What were we scaredof back there? What hurt and maybe even still hurts? Whotaught me about loving a woman? Who showed me how to bevulnerable with men? When did I become ashamed of askingquestions? How did I get rage and healthy anger confused?When did survival take the place of dreams and “getting by”take the place of passion? What makes me apologize for beingsad or even cry about loss? The answers to these questions area part of my own unique story and will open up doors of sharedexperiences with other men who also have their own uniquestories. The truth of our lives allows us to find kinship. Whenone man tells the truth about himself, ironically he is oftentelling the truth about the lives of many other men.Join the conversation about this articlefacebook.com/33theseries@33theseriesWe are made to live fully, love deeply and lead well. We aremade to do so by living a life of passion, intimacy and integrity.We find the doorway to living this life by learning how to feel ourfeelings, tell the truth about them and give these experiences toGod and others. To find our feelings, we must identify, exploreand express what is happening within us.To live the lives we are made for and the lives that our wives,children, friends and those we lead need us to live, we haveto practice a daily experience of confession, surrender andacceptance. Confession is the daily admission of being humanto God. I am not God, and I am in need of God. Surrender is thegiving over of our hearts to the God who made us and wants usback—everyday. Acceptance is the work of facing the fact thatlife is tragic but God is faithful in the midst of the tragedy. Aswe practice confession, surrender and acceptance, we keep anundivided heart. We also end up living a story that carries on inthe hearts of those we have loved–even beyond our earthly lives.May God bless the next phase of your story. Thank you forstriving for Authentic Manhood for both yourself and for thosewho matter most to you. You are a gift and you live in a worldthat desperately needs you to show up and look back so you cangive your heart.A M A N A N D H I S S TO R Y PA G E 1 3
LO O K I N G B A C K SESSION ONEPresenter InsightThe Power of StoryEby John Bryson, 33 Presentervery man has a story and everyman is in the midst of a story.God is the ultimate authorof all things, including my story andyour story (see Romans 8:28; 11:36). Aman can
manhood. John is a co-founding teaching pastor of Fellowship Memphis in Memphis, Tennessee. In 2010, he completed his Doctor of Ministry from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. John is also the author of *'' " Í 4 a curriculum for college students, and travels the country consulting
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