Emotional Intelligence And Why It Matters Part 1: Self .
Volume 61 Issue 7July 2021office phone: 303-366-5224email: office@parkviewucc.orgwebsite: www.parkviewucc.org@ParkviewAuroraEmotional Intelligence and Why It Matters Part 1: Self-Awareness and The Johari WindowBeing the church of Jesus in the world means living and functioning in community. Soundsgreat, doesn’t it? But in reality, being in community with others takes a lot of hard work.Emotional Intelligence training is one way that congregations can strengthen their sense ofcommunity and build healthier relationships.Many of us know people who seem to be more, “self-aware” than others. Self-awareness isabout having a growing knowledge of yourself, your own therapeutic issues, and how others might perceiveyour words and actions. A popular idea for understanding self-awareness is the Johari Window, created byJoseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955. It’s called the Johari window because it is a diagram that looks like awindow.The Johari Window is used to encourage greater self-awareness through being open to feedback from otherpeople. As we grow in our self-awareness, we also grow more aware of the pieces of our personalities thatare strengths and those that are weaknesses. The areas in which our relating to others is weak are called our“growth areas.”The Johari Window also demonstrates how much we need other people, how much we need strong andsupportive relationships. When we are in relationship with others, as hard as it can be at times, we grow ashuman beings and as community. Relationships help us “watch our back”. We all have blindspots parts ofourselves that are not known to us parts that could be strengths or weaknesses. When we are “face to face”with someone in a relationship (literally and figuratively) they can see the things in us to which we may beblind, and the idea is to become more open to one another in sharing what we experience in one another.Getting feedback from one another and growing in our emotional intelligence as a result takes courage,strength, and vulnerability. Many people have to work very hard to open themselves to the critique of others,so be gentle with yourselves and with one another.So, let’s look more closely now at how the Johari Window can improve our self-awareness and thus ouremotional intelligence, and strengthen our bonds with one another. To help with this, let’s pretend that youand I are using the Johari Window to work on our relationship with one another as pastor and parishioner.Each pane of the Johari Window has deeper meaning than just what is printed in that pane on the diagram.(CONTINUED ON PAGE 2)THRUST & PARRY PAGE 1
1. The "Open Self" pane represents things I know about myselfthat you also know about me. For example, I know my name,and so do you. I know where I was born and so do you. Youknow that I like cats, and that I know a lot about the Bible andabout other Judeo-Christian writings. But the self awarenessthat the Open Self pane represents includes not only facts, butalso feelings, motives, behaviors, wants, and needs. When wefirst met about eighteen months ago, there would have beenvery little information in the Open Self pane, because we didn’tknow much about one another. But now that we have beentogether for a while and have lived through both joyful and sadevents, the content of the Open Self pane has increased. It can grow even more as we build trust with one another thatenables us to share more of our authentic selves with one another and accept feedback from one another.2. The "Blind Self" pane represents those things that you know about me that I am unaware of. So, for example, wecould be eating at a restaurant, and I may have managed to get some spinach between my front teeth. This informationis part of my blind self at that moment, because you can see the spinach and I cannot. But if you then tell me I havespinach in my teeth, this information becomes part of my Open Self: now we both know about it. And what if, when youinform me of my dental disaster, I become angry that you have seen something between my teeth and actuallymentioned it to me? Then you have learned that I am not open to constructive criticism. If you never bring thisblindspot to my attention, I may never grow past the point where criticism just makes me angry. I may also haveblindspots with respect to many other much more complex things. For example, perhaps in our ongoing conversation,you notice that I’m not looking at you while we are talking. You may not say anything about it, since you may not wantto embarrass or anger me. And by not mentioning it, you are forced to interpret my behavior toward you without anyinput from me. You may conclude that I don’t really want to be talking with you at that moment. Then the issuebecomes how to get this information out in the open and into the “Open Self” pane, since it may be affecting the level oftrust that is developing between us. This is where long-term friendships often yield more help. We are more likely toapproach someone with new information we know about them when we already know a great deal, gathered throughour shared history.3. The "Hidden Self" pane, represents things that I know about myself, that you do not know, and that I’d like to keepthat way. For example, you may know that you don’t have a great singing voice, and you make sure that remains hiddenby never letting me hear you sing. I know that I am one of the world’s great procrastinators, but I have no desire for youto learn this about me. But the more we talk with and learn about one another, the more likely we will build trust thatwill move hidden things into the Open Self pane. As we get to know each other, we will feel more comfortabledisclosing more intimate details about ourselves to one another. This process is called "self-disclosure."4. And finally, the "Unknown Self" pane represents things that neither I know about myself, nor you know about me. Forexample, I may tell you about a dream I had recently, and as we attempt to understand it, a new awareness mayemerge, known to neither of us before this conversation took place. Being placed in new situations with new people canoften lead to new information not previously known to self or others. This sort of self disclosure is often done in groups,with a facilitator who is training to help create safe space that encourages information sharing. But this can bechallenging for some of us who are not comfortable speaking in front of a group. There was a time in my life that I wasso fearful of being challenged in what I shared that I had viewed myself, and others had also viewed me, as being quiteshy. Hard to believe, right?Look for Part 2 of this series in the next edition of “Thrust and Parry.”Peace and Prayers! -JillTHRUST & PARRY PAGE 2
July MissionThe monthly mission for July 2021 is school supplies. We are quite sure thatthere will be face to face classes this fall. Even if there are some classes onremote, the children will need supplies. The items needed are:Solid color pocket folders, spiral note books in both wide and college ruled,scissors, pink erasers, black pens, pencils (Dixon or Ticonderoga), Crayolamarkers (8 count), Crayola or Elmers glue sticks, Crayola crayons (24 count),Composition books, Facial tissues, Disinfecting wipes, Ream of copierpaper, Expo dry erase markers in black, Crayola colored pencils (24 count).You may make a monetary contribution and the Mission Team will purchaseneeded items for the schools.Your Mission TeamChristina Brown, Connie Crowder and Jan HeppP.S. When you purchase anything for the Mission Team, like gift cards,hats, gloves etc. be sure to save your receipt for tax purposes, along withthis article.Radical Hospitality- A Call for Volunteers- Gerrie HansonNow that Cheryl Knibbie has stepped down, we are looking for someone totake the reins—if you’re considering chairing Hospitality here is your bigchance. We need to hear from you. What is so amazing are the wonderfulpeople who have in the past and will in the future be willing to help.Several of us met and until we find a new “fearless leader,” we must pitch inand take each event as things come. Dale and Dianne Pettapiece havealready agreed to be our buyers—and Hospitality does have a budget— Nowwe need someone to tell them what is needed.Dear Graduateby Anthony GilchristNo longerIs it enough for the highest aspirationOf the graduateTo be a self-serving one.The days when the corporate ladderWas the thing to climbAnd natural resourcesSeemed inexhaustible . . .Gone – like black and white televisionThe legacy of disproportionateWealth accumulationGenocidal occupationOf indigenous populationsAllows disregardFor ecosystemsHomelessnessIn the face of gentrification;These amongst othersCry out for resolutionAnd falling upon your generationTo stamp outGenerations before you have failed youIn their quest for the “American Dream.”With eyes thus engagedThere was little space left for seeing.Be clear in your visionJust in your doings.The life force that is natureHas selected your generationBecause warning to your elders fell ondeaf ears.Are you up to the task?As things stand now, Sharon has set August 28th at 2PM for the Celebration of Life Service honoring Dr. Neal Lininger.Mark your calendar now. This will indeed involve the entire Parkview congregation, community supporters, Fine Artsparticipants, and colleagues. Planning well in advance will make everything run more smoothly. Watch for the sign-upsheet for volunteers. Take a moment and see if you feel this is an area where you might serve Parkview!Blessings!THRUST & PARRY PAGE 3
Help Wanted- Nursery AttendantDo you know someone looking for a Sunday morning position in child care? This is just the one! Hours 9:15-11:15Sunday mornings at Parkview Congregational Church to care for children of all ages including infants during morningworship. The applicant must have experience in child care including references. This can be a shared position. Salary 19per hour ( 38 a week).To apply send contact information to hiring@parkviewucc.orgFrom the Fiduciary TeamCurrent discussion items: Current Budget Report (as of 6/30/21)The final version of the Ministerial Expense Policy hasMay Income 24,291.61been approved by the Fiduciary and Guidance MinistryTeams.Expenses 15,790.17After the June numbers are in, we will know the exactTen Month Budgetamount of carryover to help support the upcoming 71,330.10Over/Underbudget.Next month the Fiduciary Team will begin adjusting the proposed budget. We now know Focus Points plans toreturn in September and the contract is being finalized. We don't yet know about House of Faith's return inusing our Sanctuary and Community Room on Saturday mornings. Regarding expenses, we are waiting forfinalized information on salary amounts from Staff Resources.If you would like to pledge a giving amount for the coming year, pleaseemail financialsecretary@parkviewucc.org or contact Jessie Tramutolo or Lisa Cossey directly. Even if you aren'tpledging, if you would like mailable envelopes, please let one of us know.Giving statements for the fiscal year just completed (July 2020 through June 2021) will be mailed to all givers inJuly.Coming up: Through the summer we will be concentrating on updating our documented procedures as well asfocusing on finalizing the budget for approval at our Annual Meeting in September.King Soopers usageLynn’s Christmas CDSafeway Card usageBamboo toothbrushesAmazon SmileSKOY ClothsDonationTOTAL 1062.28 750.00 265.00 195.00 186.09 140.00 60.00 2658.37Fiduciary Team: Cheryl Knibbe (Team Leader), Bill Harris and Ben Eby(Treasurer and Assistant), Jessie Tramutolo and Lisa Cossey (FinancialSecretary and Assistant) Reminder: If you buy items to donate such as foodpantry items, keep your receipts for your own possible tax deduction. Youcan also help Parkview by signing into Amazon Smile and designatingParkview Church.Consider signing up for the King Soopers rewards program and designating Parkview as your designated organizationfor credit. Obtain a Safeway gift card from Mary Crow that will be tied to Parkview. For information on how to signup for these, check the last page of any Thrust & Parry or contact Mary.Women AliveWomen Alive will meet onThursday July 8th at noonTo RSVP, contact CharlotteMottram at 860-614-5565Unity Candle Now Availableby Gerrie HansonThanks to a donation, we now have aUnity Candle in the southwest closetthat can be borrowed if needed!THRUST & PARRY PAGE 4
Parkview Community Garden UpdateAs expected, after a month of rain, the hot weather arrived with a vengeance, and everything popped out of theground. We've had to remind some gardeners that our garden is organic and that they need to read the labels onfertilizing and bug-killing solutions. The DUG website has a lot of good information on what to use in an organic garden,so even if you don't have a plot in our garden, check it out for your home garden and planters.We don't have an update yet from the Orchard Co-op folks regarding what fruit trees they plan to purchase to fill insome gaps. We'll let you know once the trees are purchased. All our trees have fruit on them this year, even after thehail that came earlier in the month. If you're interested in joining the Co-op, pleaseemail parkviewgardencommunications@gmail.com or contact Steve Hoffman. If you'd like to donate toward thepurchase of trees, put Orchard in the memo line. Thank you!Parkview Garden Steering CommitteeJessie Tramutolo, John Ball, Aurelio Alcaraz, Nancy CrawfordPaul Lenox Thomas Memorial Scholarship Recipients- Gerrie Hanson“This memorial was established by the Trustees of Parkview UCC to perpetuate the quality of life exemplified by aremarkable young man.” August 1977This 1,000 scholarship looks for applicants to meet the guidelines of body, mind, spirit, and leadership. As noapplicants applied from within Parkview, a letter was sent to each of Aurora’s 20 high schools for an Aurora residentcandidate. This year’s selection committee, composed of Jennifer Kubik, Dorothy Turk, and Geraldine Hanson, reviewedthe applications and interviewed two candidates. As no grant was given in 2020 due to Covid and lack of applicants, andbecause this year’s two graduates were outstanding, we felt this year we could give two scholarships.Tiyana Russell will be attending Clark Atlanta University having graduated from Grandview High School in the class of2021. She will major in Computer Science with a minor in Psychology or Social Work. She spent several years involved inParkview’s Young Artist Project, Peace Warriors camps and MADD Camp at La Foret which were influential in putting herlife on a course of practicing Peace, Love, Unity and strengthening her connection to God.Israel Aquirre will attend Concordia University Wisconsin after graduating from Vanguard Classical School in 2021. Hewill major in Biblical Languages as a pre–Seminary Student. His Pastor helped him connect to this path after he becamediscouraged with tracks that weren’t fulfilling.Both young adults displayed leadership skills within sports and student government and showed a genuine interest ingiving back to the community and in service to others. Tiyana and Israel will be the first in their families to attendcollege.We wish both of these outstanding individuals the best and were glad to have had the opportunity to meet them. Youwill also be able to meet them both virtually on the Sunday when their awards are presented. We will publicize the datewhen it is set.“Love is helping someone be everything he was meant to be.” Paul Lenox ThomasSaturday Book GroupThe Saturday Book Group will meet July 10th at 1:30 to discuss The Shoemaker's Wife by Adriana Trigiani.Jan Hepp will have the Zoom link information. The August book is Beartown by Frederik BackmanTHRUST & PARRY PAGE 5
The Challenge of Tracking Worship Attendance- Susan Sadler, Church ClerkParkview currently meets for worship three ways – on Zoom, in person and via YouTube. Adigital tracking system has been developed to meet the challenge of tracking worship attendanceeach Sunday. See the June newsletter for more information.A new “Visitor Registration” link has also been developed. It will be shared each Sunday viaZoom chat, and it will be distributed to visitors as a QR code in face-to-face worship. The linkasks a visitor for their email and name, and it indicates that ONE welcome email will come theirway, unless they ask for additional info/contact from the pastor. The visitor can click that theyare a “Visitor today” or that they “Live in the area and are looking for a church home”. They canalso offer optional information – share a need, enter a prayer request, or ask for a phone callfrom the pastor.If you are a member or a regular attender, you receive an attendance tracking text/email each Sunday. If we do nothave your cell number for a text message, then it bounces to your email. For couples who share a cell phone, one of yougets the text and the other gets an email. Click the link that comes to your text/email on Sunday morning. If you areattending alone, just one more click and then submit. If you are responding for a family group, names are requested. Ifyou do not attend, you can simply ignore the text/email.We track worship attendance to meet the reporting needs for our church – for digital licenses and dues, and to simplykeep track of folks (see the June T&P for more info).If you are a member or regular attender and for some reason cannot find the text/email on your phone on Sundaymorning, you can use the Visitor Registration link. When you do, just click “Attender or member who did not receiveattendance link”. That lets me know that something is not right.We have a few grumblers in our group who do not want to try something new. Change can be a challenge. If you havenot yet clicked the attendance link, then I encourage you to log your worship attendance the easy way. It takes less timethan passing the Friendship Pads during church (like we did BC – Before Covid). It lets us track attendance in all threevenues – in person, on Zoom and on YouTube. It maintains social distancing, saves paper, and does not rely on any oneperson to be in attendance on Sunday morning to make it happen. (Even Church Clerks like to take a week off now andagain.) “Do all things without murmuring and arguing,” Phillippians 2:14 (NRSV)In a few more weeks, the digital tracking system will become second nature. Come to worship click the link “signin”. It only takes a few seconds. Thank you!Pastor Parish Relations MinistryJuly BirthdaysLaverne SeyboldMarissa HodakDon CrandallDianne PettapieceKathy HodakDebbie Jo FurlerBraxon PettapieceDeepest Thanks by Sharon LiningerDeepest thanks to my Parkview family for all of your kind wordsand thoughtfulness since Neal's death. Your loving supportcontinues to give me strength. We plan a Celebration of Lifeservice for Neal on Saturday, August 28 at 2 pm at Parkview.It will also be aired on Zoom for those unable to attend in person.This ministry helps the congregation with anyunhappiness that sometimes appears in church.You may contact any one of us at the followingemail addresses:Ulysses “Stan” Stanleyulysdelo@comcast.netLexi Wimmerlexi.heringer@gmail.comBen Ebyben.paul.eby@gmail.comJoan Velottajjvelotta@comcast.netTHRUST & PARRY PAGE 6
STAFF OPENING- Children and Family Faith Formation AssistantParkview Church is looking for an exceptional candidate for the position of Children and Family Faith FormationAssistant. The successful candidate will have a background in Progressive Christianity, or an openness to learn this newway of understanding our faith from Parkview’s pastor. A candidate with training and experience in the “Our WholeLives” curriculum preferred. Faith formation curriculum will be determined in conversation with the pastor. Anopenness to facilitating mid-week activities and possibly sharing those activities with children and youth from otherneighboring congregations would be helpful.Who We Are- Parkview UCC is a diverse, growing, progressive, Open and Affirming, Protestant Christian church situatedin a suburban neighborhood in Aurora, CO. We are located a few blocks SE of 6th Avenue and Peoria Street. For moreinformation about our church, please visit our website www.parkviewucc.org.General Description- The Children and Family Faith Formation Assistant supports the spiritual formation of the childrenof Parkview Church and connects them and their families more fully into the life of the congregation.Hours- 10-12 Hours a week with a flexible approach to the ebbs and flows of this work, assuming less hours in summerand more during programmatic year. Compensation will be a fixed monthly salary ranging from 877 – 1,032 (basedon a 17- 20 per hour pay rate). Pay is commensurate with experience.Required- Sunday Mornings 8:30a – 11:30a (approximately), monthly Faith Formation Meetings, occasional StaffRetreats. Additional planning hours are flexible and can be done remotely.Specific Responsibilities Support Sunday morning faith formation programming for children Coordinate and serve as lead teacher for Sunday School programming for ages 5 to 12 in collaboration with FaithFormation Ministry Teamo Recruit and support Volunteer Teacherso Collaborate on curriculum development and implementation with Faith Formation Ministry Team andPastoral Leadership Team Assist with Moment for Children and Youth in Sunday morning worshipEngage in the broader ministries of Parkview Church Nurture relationships with children, youth, and their families Attend and participate in monthly Faith Formation Ministry Team planning meetings As time permits, participate in larger discernment and visioning work of Parkview ChurchOther Considerations Parkview is a member of the United Church of Christ and Identifies as a progressive Faith community, the idealcandidate will have a faith background that aligns with these ideals as reflected in the covenants of ParkviewChurch (which can be found on the website). Must be willing and able to pass a formal background check.Ideal Candidate Description A person who is able to articulate their own spirituality along with embracing others stories of their faith Experience working with children and youth, preferably in a teaching capacity Experience supervising or working with volunteers Ability to work collaboratively with people of all ages*To apply, please send resume and cover letter Creativity and vision for program buildingto hiring@parkviewucc.orgTHRUST & PARRY PAGE 7
King Soopers Community Rewards ProgramParkview UCC is a charityon AmazonSmile! SelectParkview Church as yourcharity and Amazon willdonate 0.5% of the priceof your eligible purchases.Register your King Soopers loyalty card and link your card to Parkview – it’sjust that easy. Parkview's rewards are based on our group's percentage ofspending related to the total spending of ALL participating King SoopersCommunity Rewards organizations.Contact Mary Crow if you have any questions regarding the loyalty cardregistration process.You can purchase a Safeway Card that is preloaded with 5.00. Simply add more money to the card at any Fuel Center, Customer Service Deskor Check Stand using cash, check, credit or debit card. Parkview receives 5% for every 5,000 reloaded. Contact Mary Crow to purchase a 5 card that is "coded" for thecontribution for Parkview Church.Always start atsmile.amazon.com whenshopping on Amazon forParkview to getthe donation.The Fleeting Nature of Spring(In gratitude to Jan Hixon)by Anthony GilchristNext Session: August 5th, 2021 at 9:30am1st Thursday of Every MonthLIVE on Zoom & YouTubeThe days of SpringI am toldWere yesterday young Now very old.Summer sprintsOn her fresh legsWith Spring in decline;But Spring has never yet failedTo cross the finish line.Thrust & Parryis a Parkview UCC PublicationParkview Congregational Church,United Church of Christ12444 E Parkview Drive, Aurora CO80011Printed June 29th, 2021THRUST & PARRY PAGE 8
your words and actions. A popular idea for understanding self-awareness is the Johari Window, created by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955. It’s called the Johari window because it is a diagram that looks like a window. The Johari Window is used to encourage greater self-awareness through being open to feedback from other people.
Emotional Intelligence and Leadership Emotional Intelligence and Management Emotional Intelligence and Perception Emotional Intelligence and Communication Conclusion Definition of Emotional Intelligence (EI) Emotional Intelligence- capacity to be Aware, Express & Control your Emotions, and handle interpersonal relationships Caringly and .
2.6.1 Emotional and Social Competency Inventory 51 2.6.2 Emotional Quotient Inventory 52 2.6.3 Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test 53 2.6.4 Trait Emotional Intelligence Questionnaire 54 2.7 EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE- RELATED STUDIES 55 2.8 EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IN EDUCATION 58
Ability-models versus mixed-models of emotional intelligence 49 Strengths and weaknesses in the three major views of emotional intelligence 50 Mayer and Salovey‟s view of emotional intelligence. 50 Bar-On‟s view of emotional intelligence. 51 Goleman‟s view of emotional intelligence. 53 Overarching reflections and conclusions 55 References 58
Emotional Intelligence Based on the Five Domains of Emotional Intelligence found in Daniel Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence. Emotional Intelligence is 60% of performance in all jobs. - Emotional Intelligence Quick Book 15% of success is technical knowledge, 85% is people skills
Emotional Intelligence 2.0 Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves Thesis-1: Emotional intelligence is a key factor in people’s success. Thesis-2: There is no known connection between cognitive intelligence and emotional intelligence. Thesis-3: People can increase their emotional intelligence even though cognitive intelligence is set.
Reuven Bar-On: Emotional Quotient. Model of Emotional-Social Intelligence. Peter Salovey & John D. Mayer 1990: The Ability Model of Emotional Intelligence. Daniel Goleman 1995: Emotional Intelligence Theory. Theory of Performance. 1970 1990 The pioneers of emotional intelligence. Emotions and cognitions influence each other. The
Emotional Intelligence by Team Publications How to Be an Even Better Manager by Michael Armstrong Mastering Mentoring and Coaching with Emotional Intelligence by Patrick E. Merlevede and Denis C. Bridoux Skill Briefs Skills that Enhance Emotional Intelligence (ID: COMM0141) Emotional Intelligence and Life Success (ID: COMM0141) Emotional .
Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ-I) 14 2.3.4. Emotional Intelligent Quotient (EIQ) 15 2.3.5. Work Group Emotional Intelligence Profile (WEIP) 15 2.3.6. Self-report of Emotional Intelligence (SREI) 16 2.3.7. Wong and Law Emotional Intelligence Scale (WLEIS) 16 2.4. Debates and Controversies on the subject of EI 17 .
