Mindful Self-Compassion

Mindful Self-CompassionCOURSE HANDOUTSCOURSE LEADER(S)DATE AND LOCATIONTHIS BOOK BELONGS TO:

Christopher Germer & Kristin Neff (2019).Mindful Self-Compassion Handout Booklet.San Diego, CA: Center for Mindful Self-Compassion.All rights reserved. This booklet is for copying and distributing toparticipants in MSC classes. If anyone would like permission toreproduce, distribute, publish, display, or modify these materials forother purposes, please contact www.centerformsc.orgM I N D F U L S E L F - C O M PA S S I O N H A N D O U T B O O K L E Tii

TABLE OF CONTENTSMSC Workbook .1Definitions.2The Science of Self-Compassion.3References.5Pathways and Stages.6MSC Session Outline.7Home practice.9What Works for Me?.10Backdraft.11MSC Weekly Feedback .13Staying connected.14M I N D F U L S E L F - C O M PA S S I O N H A N D O U T B O O K L E Tiii

MSC WORKBOOKPublished in 2018, The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook (Neff & Germer) wasdesigned as a companion to the MSC course and to introduce the general public toMSC. It includes much of the theory and practices taught in MSC, plus additionalmaterial on research and special topics.The workbook is highly recommended for MSC participants to:supplement what is learned in classreduce the need to take noteshelp prepare for classreview a missed sessionsupport home practiceThe workbook also contains writing exercises for home study, and vivid stories ofpeople using the techniques to address relationship stress, weight and body imageissues, health concerns, anxiety, and other common problems. People who purchasethe book have access to recorded meditations from the publisher’s 9M I N D F U L S E L F - C O M PA S S I O N H A N D O U T B O O K L E T1

PAGE TITLEDEFINITIONSMindfulness“The awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose,in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally to the unfolding ofexperience moment to moment.”Jon Kabat-Zinn“Awareness, of the present moment, with acceptance.”Chris GermerAcceptance“Active, nonjudgmental embracing of experience in the here and now.”Steven HayesEmpathy“An accurate understanding of the [another’s] world as seen from theinside. To sense [another person’s] world as if it were your own.”Carl RogersLoving-Kindness“The wish that all sentient beings may be happy.”Dalai LamaCompassion“The wish that all sentient beings may be free from suffering.”Dalai Lama“Deep awareness of the suffering of oneself and other living beings,coupled with the wish and effort to alleviate it.”Paul GilbertSelf-Compassion“When we suffer, caring for ourselves as we would care for someone wetruly love. Self-compassion includes: self-kindness, a sense of commonhumanity, and mindfulness.”M I N D F U L S E L F - C O M PA S S I O N H A N D O U T B O O K L E T2Kristin Neff

TITLETHE SCIENCEPAGEOF SELF-COMPASSIONThe three components of self-compassionResearch on self-compassion(Neff, 2003b)Explosion of research into self-compassionover the past decadeSelf-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment: Treating self with care and understandingrather than harsh judgment Actively soothing and comforting oneselfMost research conducted with theSelf-Compassion Scale (Neff, 2003a)Common humanity vs. Isolation Seeing own experience as part of largerhuman experience not isolating orabnormal Recognizing that life is imperfect (us too!)Self-compassion linked to wellbeing(Zessin, Dickhauser & Garbadee, 2015)Reductions in negative mind-states: Anxiety,depression, stress, rumination, thoughtsuppression, perfectionism, shameMindfulness vs. Over-identification Allows us to “be” with painful feelings asthey are Avoids extremes of suppressing or runningaway with painful feelingsIncreases in positive mind-states: Lifesatisfaction, happiness, connectedness, selfconfidence, optimism, curiosity, gratitudeSelf-compassion leads to wellbeing byholding negative thoughts and emotions inloving, connected, presenceYin and Yang of Self-CompassionYIN - “being with” ourselves in acompassionate way—comforting, soothing,validatingSelf-compassion vs. self-esteem(Neff & Vonk, 2009)YANG - “acting in the world” in acompassionate way—protecting, providing,and motivatingOffers same wellbeing benefits withoutpitfallsFewer social comparisonsLess contingent self-worthNo association with narcissismPhysiological underpinnings (Gilbert, 2009)Physiological underpinnings of self-criticism Threat defense system Cortisol and adrenalineFive main misgivings about self-compassionIs a form of self-pityMeans weaknessWill undermine motivationWill lead to self-indulgenceIs selfishPhysiological underpinnings ofself-compassion Mammalian care-giving system Oxytocin and opiatesM I N D F U L S E L F - C O M PA S S I O N H A N D O U T B O O K L E T3

THE SCIENCE OF SELF-COMPASSIONIs less self-focusedLinked to more other-focused concernLinked to less rumination and selfconsciousness (Raes, 2010; Neff & Vonk,2003a)More caring and supportive relationshipbehavior (Neff & Beretvas, 2013)Less controlling and verbally aggressiveLinked to more connectedness (Neff, 2003a)More forgiveness and perspective taking(Neff & Pommier, 2013)Linked to coping and resilienceEarly influences on self-compassionMore effective coping with divorce(Sbarra et al., 2012)Secure versus insecure attachment(Wei, Liao, Ku & Shaffer, 2011)Less likely to develop PTSD after combattrauma (Hiraoka et al., 2015)Parental criticism and family conflict(Neff & McGehee, 2010)Better coping with chronic health conditions(Sirois, 2015)Linked to motivationHistory of sexual, emotional, physical abuse(Vetesse et al., 2011)(Breines & Chen, 2012)Mindful Self-CompassionLess fear of failure, more likely to try againand persist in efforts after failure(MSC; Neff & Germer, 2013)More personal responsibility and motivationto repair past mistakes8-week workshop (2.5 hours each session)designed to explicitly teach self-compassionEmpirically demonstrated to increase selfcompassion, mindfulness, wellbeingLinked to healthier behaviors (Terry & Leary, 2011)More exercise, more doctors visits, safer sex,less alcohol useAn empirically supported teen adaptationexists called Making Friends with Yourself(Bluth et al., 2015)M I N D F U L S E L F - C O M PA S S I O N H A N D O U T B O O K L E T4

REFERENCESBluth, K., Gaylord, S. A., Campo, R. A., Mullarkey, M. C., & Hobbs, L. (2015). Making Friends with Yourself:A Mixed Methods Pilot Study of a Mindful Self-Compassion Program for Adolescents. Mindfulness,1-14.Braun, T. D., Park, C. L., & Gorin, A. (2016). Self-compassion, body image, and disordered eating: A review ofthe literature. Body Image, 17, 117-131.Breines, J. G., & Chen, S. (2012). Self-compassion increases self-improvement motivation. Personality andSocial Psychology Bulletin, 38(9), 1133-1143.Hiraoka, R., Meyer, E.C., Kimbrel, N. A., B. DeBeer, B. B., Gulliver, S. B., & Morissette. S. B. (2015). Selfcompassion as a prospective predictor of PTSD symptom severity among trauma-exposed U.S. Iraqand Afghanistan war veterans. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 28, 1-7.Keng, S., Smoski, M. J., Robins, C. J., Ekblad, A. G., & Brantley, J. G. (2012). Mechanisms of change inmindfulness-based stress reduction: Self-compassion and mindfulness as mediators of interventionoutcomes. Journal Of Cognitive Psychotherapy, 26(3), 270-280.Kuyken, W., Watkins, E., Holden, E., White, K., Taylor, R. S., Byford, S., Dalgleish, T. (2010). How doesmindfulness-based cognitive therapy work? Behavior Research and Therapy, 48, 1105-1112.Neff, K. D. (2003a). Development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion. Self and Identity, 2,223-250.Neff, K. D. (2003b). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself.Self and Identity, 2, 85-102.Neff, K. D., & Beretvas, S. N. (2013). The role of self-compassion in romantic relationships. Self and Identity,12(1), 78-98.Neff, K. D. & Pommier, E. (2013). The relationship between self-compassion and other-focused concernamong college undergraduates, community adults, and practicing meditators. Self and Identity,12(2),160-176Neff, K. D., & Vonk, R. (2009). Self-compassion versus global self-esteem: Two different ways of relating tooneself. Journal of Personality, 77, 23-50.Raab, K. (2014). Mindfulness, Self-Compassion, and Empathy Among Health Care Professionals: A Review ofthe Literature. Journal of health care chaplaincy, 20(3), 95-108.Sbarra, D. A., Smith, H. L. & Mehl, M. R. (2012). When leaving your Ex, love yourself: Observational ratings ofself-compassion predict the course of emotional recovery following marital separation. PsychologicalScience. 23(3), 261–269.Sirois, F. M., Molnar, D. S., & Hirsch, J. K. (2015). Self-Compassion, Stress, and Coping in the Context ofChronic Illness. Self and Identity, 14(3), 334-347.Terry, M. L., & Leary, M. R. (2011). Self-compassion, self-regulation, and health. Self and Identity, 10(3),352-362.Zessin, U., Dickhäuser, O., & Garbade, S. (2015). The Relationship Between Self-Compassion and Well-Being:A Meta-Analysis. Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, 7(3), 340-364.M I N D F U L S E L F - C O M PA S S I O N H A N D O U T B O O K L E T5

PATHWAYS AND STAGESPathways to Self-CompassionPhysical – Caring for your bodyMental - Allowing your thoughtsEmotional - Accepting your feelingsRelational – Connecting authentically with othersSpiritual - Nurturing your valuesStages of AcceptanceExploring – turning toward discomfort with curiosityTolerating – safely enduringAllowing – letting feelings come and goBefriending – seeing the value in all experienceStages of ProgressStriving – struggling to feel betterDisillusionment – when resistance amplifies discomfortRadical Acceptance – acceptance before changeM I N D F U L S E L F - C O M PA S S I O N H A N D O U T B O O K L E T6

MSC SESSION OUTLINESESSION 1SESSION 2Discovering Mindful Self-CompassionPracticing MindfulnessTopic: WelcomeCore Meditation: Affectionate BreathingExercise: Why Am I Here?Practice DiscussionTopic: Practical DetailsToday’s Session: Practicing MindfulnessTopic: Tips - How to Approach MSCTopic: Wandering MindExercise: Guiding PrinciplesTopic: What is Mindfulness?Exercise: How Do I Treat a Friend?Informal Practice: Soles of the FeetTopic: What is Self-Compassion?Topic: ResistanceExercise (optional): Gestures of Self-CompassionTopic: Misgivings about Self-CompassionExercise: How We Cause Ourselves UnnecessarySufferingTopic (optional): Research on Self-CompassionTopic: BackdraftTopic (optional): Self-Compassion and Self-EsteemInformal Practice: Mindfulness in Daily LifeTopic (optional): Physiology of Self-Compassion andInformal Practice: Self-Compassion in Daily LifeSelf-CriticismInformal Practice (optional): Here-and-Now-StoneInformal Practice: Soothing TouchTopic: Mindfulness and Self-CompassionInformal Practice: Self-Compassion BreakSESSION 3SESSION 4Practicing Loving-KindnessDiscovering Your Compassionate VoiceOpening Meditation: Affectionate BreathingOpening Meditation: Loving-Kindness for OurselvesPractice DiscussionToday’s Session: Discovering Your CompassionateVoiceToday’s Session: Practicing Loving-KindnessTopic: Loving-Kindness and CompassionTopic: Stages of ProgressExercise: Awakening Our HeartsExercise: How is MSC going for me?Topic: Loving-Kindness MeditationTopic: Self-Criticism and SafetyMeditation: Loving-Kindness for a Loved OneExercise: Motivating Ourselves with CompassionTopic: Practicing with PhrasesInformal Practice: Compassionate Letter to MyselfInformal Practice: Finding Loving-KindnessPhrasesM I N D F U L S E L F - C O M PA S S I O N H A N D O U T B O O K L E T7