A Joke-a-Day: 200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom
A Joke-A-DayFor The ClassroomBy Brandi Jordan, Managing Editor Of The Teachers’ Lounge, A Really Good Stuff Blog
A Joke-A-Day:200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The ClassroomHappy, smiling children make for eager, engaged learners. With the myriad oftesting and assessments that take place throughout the school year, it is nice tohave a moment each day to make kids smile. Whether you start the morning offwith a joke or fit it in between math and reading lessons, a kid-friendly joke, tonguetwister, or riddle helps lighten the mood and gets your students thinking outsidethe box.Jokes and riddles offer a great segue into multiple word meanings, homophones,language manipulation, alliteration, and more. Need a new way to grab your ESL/ELL students’ attention? Try telling them a joke. Want to challenge your students touse language in different ways? Ask them to write jokes and riddles. The inherent“fun factor” of jokes makes them an easy sell and much less intimidating thanasking students to write a paragraph.If you think writing a joke is easy, think again. It requires students tonot only understand the way words are put together, but encouragesthem to expand their vocabulary. With a strong emphasis in theCommon Core State Standards on vocabulary, writing and tellingjokes is the perfect, kid-friendly way to meet those standards.The 200 kid-friendly jokes in this book are great for classroom (orhome) use. Encourage students to create a joke a day for yourclassroom and create a book that they can take home at the endof the year. Inspiration, humor, and kid-friendly fun are a sure-firerecipe for student success. 2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920Shop!ReallyGoodStuff.comLike Us!facebook.com/ReallyGoodStuffVisit Our Blog!blog.ReallyGoodStuff.com
A Joke-A-Day1200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom Day 1Q: What do you get when you throw alot of books into the ocean? Day 8Q: Why did the chicken go to jail?A: Because he was using fowl language.A: A title wave. Day 2Q: What has four wheels and flies? Day 9Q: What has two legs but can’t walk?A: A pair of pants.A: A trash truck. Day 3Q: Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up? Day 10Q: Why was the math book alwaysworried?A: Because it was two tired.A: Because it had so many problems. Day 4Q: What do you call a boomerang thatdoesn’t come back? Day 11Q: Which school supply is king of theclassroom?A: A stick.A: The ruler. Day 5Q: Why did the man take his clock tothe vet? Day 12Q: Which vegetable should you neverinvite on a boat trip?A: Because it had ticks.A: A leek. Day 13Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feelwhen he discovered electricity?A: He was shocked. Day 14Q: Why did the horse chew with hismouth open?A: Because he had bad stable manners. Day 6Q: What did the mouse say to theother mouse when he tried to steal hischeese? Day 15Q: What’s a tornado’s favorite game toplay?A: That’s nacho cheese.A: Twister. Day 7Q: Which is faster, heat or cold? Day 16Q: What do you give a sick lemon?A: Heat, because you can catch a cold.A: Lemon-aid. 2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920Shop!ReallyGoodStuff.comLike Us!facebook.com/ReallyGoodStuffVisit Our Blog!blog.ReallyGoodStuff.com
A Joke-A-Day2200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom Day 17Q: Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? Day 26Q: Why did the pony get detention?A: Because he was always on the deck.A: Because he was horsing around. Day 18Q: Where do polar bears vote? Day 27Q: What lights up a stadium?A: At the North Pole.A: A soccer match. Day 19Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit?A: Boo-berries. Day 20Q: Why did the robber take a shower?A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway. Day 21Q: What did the mayonnaise say whenthe refrigerator was opened?A: Close the door! I’m dressing! Day 22Q: What do you call a shoe made froma banana?A: A slipper. Day 23Q: What did the apple tree say to thefarmer? Day 28Q: What’s bigger than an elephant, butdoesn’t weigh anything?A: His shadow. Day 29Q: Why did the teacher have to wearsunglasses?A: Because her students were so bright.A: Stop picking on me! Day 30Q: Which bus crossed the ocean? Day 24Q: Why are there fences aroundcemeteries?A: Columbus. Day 31Q: What do you call a pig that doeskarate?A: Because people are dying to get in. Day 25Q: Where do cows go on the weekend?A: A pork chop.A: To the moo-vies. Day 32Q: Why was six afraid of seven?A: Because seven eight nine. 2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920Shop!ReallyGoodStuff.comLike Us!facebook.com/ReallyGoodStuffVisit Our Blog!blog.ReallyGoodStuff.com
A Joke-A-Day3200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom Day 33Q: What do you call a fish with no eye?A: A fsh. Day 42Q: How do monsters tell theirfortunes?A: They read their horror-scopes. Day 34Q: What do gymnasts, acrobats, andbananas all have in common?A: They can all do splits. Day 43Q: Where does the witch park hervehicle?A: In the broom closet. Day 35Q: What’s a frog’s favorite game?A: Hopscotch. Day 44Q: What is a witch’s favorite subject inschool? Day 36Q: What dies but never lives?A: Spelling.A: A battery. Day 45Q: Why couldn’t the ghost see hisparents? Day 37Q: What day of the week does thepotato look forward to the least?A: Fry-day. Day 38Q: What do you call a seagull that fliesover the bay?A: Because they were trans-parents. Day 46Q: What do you do if you’re a fan ofDracula’s?A: You join his fang club. Day 47Q: Where do ghosts go for aswim?A: A bagel. Day 39Q: What is Dracula’sfavorite fruit?A: The Dead Sea. Day 48Q: Whom did the monsterask to kiss his boo-boosafter he fell?A: Neck-tarines. Day 40Q: What does a skeletonorder for dinner?A: His mummy.A: Spare ribs. Day 49Q: What makes a skeletonlaugh? Day 41Q: What’s a ghost’sfavorite dessert?A: When something tickles hisfunny bone.A: Ice Scream. 2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920Shop!ReallyGoodStuff.comLike Us!facebook.com/ReallyGoodStuffVisit Our Blog!blog.ReallyGoodStuff.com
A Joke-A-Day4200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom Day 50Q: What would you get if you crossed ateacher with a vampire? Day 59Q: Which monster is the best dancepartner?A: Lots of blood tests.A: The Boogie Man. Day 51Q: Why did the skeleton cross theroad? Day 60Q: What did the turkey stay before itwas roasted?A: To get to the body shop.A: I’m stuffed! Day 52Q: What do witches order at hotels? Day 61Q: Why was the turkey arrested?A: Broom service.A: It was suspected of fowl play. Day 53Q: Why did the Cyclops stop teaching? Day 62Q: What smells the best atThanksgiving?A: Because he only had one pupil.A: Your nose. Day 54Q: Why didn’t Dracula have anyfriends? Day 63Q: What kind of weather does a turkeylike?A: Because he was a pain in the neck.A: Fowl weather. Day 55Q: Where did the witch have to gowhen she misbehaved?A: To her broom. Day 64Q: What always comes at the end ofThanksgiving?A: The letter “g.” Day 56Q: What do you get if you cross avampire and a snowman?A: Frostbite. Day 57Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite room inthe house?A: The living room. Day 58Q: What do birds do on Halloween?A: They go trick or tweeting. 2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920Shop!ReallyGoodStuff.comLike Us!facebook.com/ReallyGoodStuffVisit Our Blog!blog.ReallyGoodStuff.com
A Joke-A-Day5200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom Day 71Q: What type of diet did the snowmango on?A: The Meltdown Diet. Day 72Q: What did the snowman have forbreakfast?A: Frosted Flakes. Day 73Q: What do you have in December thatyou don’t have in any other month? Day 65Q: Why couldn’t the turkey eatdessert?A: The letter “d.”A: Because he was stuffed. Day 66Q: What type of key is the mostimportant at Thanksgiving dinner?A: The tur-key. Day 67Q: Which side of the turkey has themost feathers?A: The outside. Day 68Q: Are turkey leftovers good for yourhealth? Day 74Q: What often falls in winter, butnever gets hurt?A: Snow. Day 75Q: Why did the boy keep his trumpet inthe freezer?A: Because he liked cool music. Day 76Q: What’s brown and sneaks aroundthe kitchen?A: Mince spies. Day 69Q: What do elves learn in school? Day 77Q: What’s the difference between aChristmas alphabet and the regularalphabet?A: The elf-abet.A: The Christmas alphabet has Noel. Day 70Q: What do you get if you cross a pinetree with an apple? Day 78Q: What happened to the man whostole a calendar from the store?A: A pine-apple.A: He got 12 months.A: Not if you’re the turkey! 2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920Shop!ReallyGoodStuff.comLike Us!facebook.com/ReallyGoodStuffVisit Our Blog!blog.ReallyGoodStuff.com
A Joke-A-Day6200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom Day 79Q: Why was Santa’s helper sad? Day 88Knock, knock.A: Because he had low elf-esteem.Who’s there?Wet. Day 80Q: What does Santa clean his sleighwith?Wet who?A: Comet. Day 89Q: If a butcher wears a size XL shirtand a size 13 shoe, what does he weigh? Day 81Q: What did the stamp say to theenvelope?Wet me in, it’s raining out here!A: Meat.A: I’m stuck on you. Day 90Q: What did the baker say to his wife? Day 82Q: What did the paper clip say to themagnet?A: I’m dough-nuts about you!A: I find you very attractive. Day 83Q: What kind of flower do you neverwant to get on Valentine’s Day?A: Cauliflower. Day 91Q: What did the squirrel give forValentine’s Day?A: Forget-me-nuts. Day 92Q: What do you call two birds in love?A: Tweet-hearts. Day 84Q: What do elephants say to oneanother on Valentine’s Day? Day 93Knock, knock.A: I love you a ton.Who’s there?Arthur. Day 85Q: What’s easy to get into, but hard toget out of?Arthur who?A: Trouble. Day 94Q: What did the monster ask hissweetheart? Day 86Q: Why is the forest so noisy?Arthur anymore chocolates left?A: Will you be my Valen-slime?A: Because the trees have bark. Day 87Q: What has an eye, but cannot see? Day 95Q: What did the boy pickle say to thegirl pickle?A: A needle (or potato, tornado, hurricane, etc.).A: You mean a great dill to me. 2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920Shop!ReallyGoodStuff.comLike Us!facebook.com/ReallyGoodStuffVisit Our Blog!blog.ReallyGoodStuff.com
A Joke-A-Day7200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom Day 96Q: What did the farmer give his wifefor Valentine’s Day? Day 103Q: What did the snowman order atWendy’s ?A: Hogs and kisses.A: A Frosty! Day 97Q: What did the owl say to hissweetheart? Day 104Q: Why can’t skeletons play music?A: Because they have no organs.A: Owl be yours. Day 98Q: What did the calculator say to theother calculator on Valentine’s Day? Day 105Q: How do you catch an unusualrabbit?A: Unique up on it.A: Let me count the ways I love you. Day 106Q: What’s the best way to talk to aT-Rex?A: From a distance. Day 107Q: What kind of music do mummieslike best?A: Wrap. Day 99Q: What did one piece of string say tothe other piece of string? Day 108Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?A: Will you be my Valen-twine?A: Because it was the chicken’s day off. Day 100Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder toschool? Day 109Q: Where can you learn to make icecream?A: He wanted to go to high school.A: At Sundae School. Day 101Q: What are there a lot of whenturkeys play baseball? Day 110Q: Why did the boy run around his bed?A: He was trying to catch up on his sleep.A: Fowl balls. Day 102Q: Where do pencils go for vacation? Day 111Q: What do you call an elephant in aphone booth?A: Pencil-vania.A: Stuck! 2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920Shop!ReallyGoodStuff.comLike Us!facebook.com/ReallyGoodStuffVisit Our Blog!blog.ReallyGoodStuff.com
A Joke-A-Day8200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom Day 112Q: How does the Easter Bunny travel?A: By hare-plane. Day 121Q: What’s a rabbit’s favorite kind ofmusic?A: Hip-hop. Day 113Q: What runs but never walks? Day 122Q: Where’s a wall’s favorite place tomeet his friends?A: A hose. Day 114Q: Which flower talks the most?A: At the corner.A: Tulips, because they have two lips. Day 123Q: Where did the king keep his army? Day 115Q: What did the spoon say to theknife?A: In his sleeve.A: “You’re so sharp!” Day 124Q: Why don’t animals eat clowns?A: They taste funny! Day 116Q: How did the hairdresser win therace?A: She knew a shortcut. Day 125Q: Where do books hide when they’rescared?A: Under their covers. Day 117Q: Why are fish so smart? Day 126Q: What’s a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?A: Because they are always in a school.A: Strawberries. Day 118Q: What did the dinner plate say to thecup?A: Dinner’s on me tonight. Day 127Q: Why can’t the elephant use thecomputer?A: Because he’s afraid of the mouse. Day 119Q: What did the circle say to thetriangle? Day 128Knock, knock.A: I don’t see your point.Who’s there?Who. Day 120Q: What’s black and white over andover again?Who who?Is there an owl in here?A: A penguin rolling down a hill. 2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920Shop!ReallyGoodStuff.comLike Us!facebook.com/ReallyGoodStuffVisit Our Blog!blog.ReallyGoodStuff.com
A Joke-A-Day9200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom Day 129Q: What do ghosts use to wash theirhair? Day 137Q: Why is 1 1 3 like your left foot?A: It’s not right.A: Sham-BOO. Day 130Q: What did the carrot say to themushroom? Day 138Q: Where do kids in New York Citylearn multiplication?A: In Times Square.A: You’re a fungi (fun guy). Day 131Q: What did the hamburger name herdaughter? Day 139Q: Why did everyone want the musicteacher to be on their baseball team?A: Because she had the perfect pitch.A: Patty. Day 132Q: What do a car and an elephant havein common? Day 140Q: Why are elephants such baddancers?A: Because they have two left feet.A: They both have trunks. Day 133Knock, knock. Day 141Q: What starts and ends with “e” andonly has one letter?Who’s there?A: An envelope.Tank.Tank who?You’re welcome! Day 134Q: Why do cowboys ride horses?A: Because they’re too heavy to carry. Day 135Q: What is a math teacher’s favoritetype of dessert?A: Pi. Day 142Knock, knock. Day 136Q: Why was the cafeteria clock alwaysbehind?Who’s there?A: Because it went back for seconds.No, silly, cows go MOO! 2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920Shop!ReallyGoodStuff.comCows go.Cows go who?Like Us!facebook.com/ReallyGoodStuffVisit Our Blog!blog.ReallyGoodStuff.com
A Joke-A-Day10200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom Day 143Q: What’s a math teacher’s favoritetool? Day 151Q: How did the boy react when histurtle died?A: Multipliers.A: He was shell-shocked. Day 144Knock, knock.Who’s there? Day 152Q: What’s a spider’s favorite thing todo on a computer?Cash.A: Make websites.Cash who?No, thanks, I prefer peanuts. Day 145Q: What should you do if your teacherrolls her eyes at you?A: Roll them back, of course! Day 146Q: Why do bees have sticky hair? Day 153Q: What kind of table can you have fordinner?A: A vege-table. Day 154Q: What’s a librarian’s favorite type ofbait when fishing?A: Bookworms.A: Because they have honeycombs. Day 155Q: What did one eye say to the other? Day 147Knock, knock.A: Between you and I, something smells.Who’s there? Day 156Q: Why did the girl put lipstick on herhead?Pecan.Pecan who?Pecan someone your own size!A: Because she wanted to make-up her mind Day 148Q: Why didn’t the oven go to college?A: Because it had a lot of degrees already. Day 157Q: What’s a cannibal’s favorite sport?A: Football. Day 149Q: What did the teacher do at thebeach?A: She tested the water. Day 158Q: What did the ocean say to thebeach?A: Nothing, it just waved. Day 150Q: What time is it when you have atoothache?A: Tooth Hurty. 2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920Shop!ReallyGoodStuff.comLike Us!facebook.com/ReallyGoodStuffVisit Our Blog!blog.ReallyGoodStuff.com
A Joke-A-Day11200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom Day 159Q: What do you call a worm with noteeth?A: A gummy worm. Day 160Q: Why was the computer cold?A: Because it left the Windows open! Day 161Q: Why do eggs hate jokes? Day 167Q: What’s the smartest insect around?A: Because they crack up. Day 162Q: What type of dog loves going to thegroomer?A: A shampoodle. Day 163Q: What did the doctor diagnose thehorse with when he wasn’t feelingwell?A: The spelling bee. Day 168Q: Why did the cabbage beat the carrotin a race?A: Because it was a-head. Day 169Knock, knock.A: Hay fever.Who’s there? Day 164Q: Why do birds fly south for thewinter?Leaf who?Leaf.A: Because it’s too far to walk. Day 165Knock, knock.Leaf me alone please, I’m thinking. Day 170Q: Why don’t ducks tell jokes whenthey fly?A: They would quack up!Who’s there? Day 171Q: What’s a bat’s favorite pastime?Nobel.Nobel who?There’s nobel, that’s why I’m knocking.A: Hanging out with his friends. Day 166Q: What lies at the bottom of theocean and worries? Day 172Q: Where do polar bears keep theirmoney?A: A nervous wreck. 2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920Shop!ReallyGoodStuff.comA: In snow banks.Like Us!facebook.com/ReallyGoodStuffVisit Our Blog!blog.ReallyGoodStuff.com
A Joke-A-Day12200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom Day 173Knock, knock.Who’s there? Day 181Q: What’s a cat’s favorite nurseryrhyme?Canoe.A: Three Blind Mice.Canoe who?Canoe help me with my homeworkplease? Day 182Knock, knock.Who’s there? Day 174Q: How do bears keep their den cool inthe summer?Nana.Nana who?Nana your business.A: They use bear-conditioning. Day 183Q: Why did the dog keep tripping? Day 175Q: Why was the clown crying?A: Because she had two left feet.A: Because he broke his funny bone. Day 184Q: What did the duck say to the clown? Day 176Q: What did the paper say toencourage the pencil?A: You quack me up! Day 185Q: Where do baby pens spend theirday?A: Write on, good friend! Day 177Q: Where can you always find apeacock?A: In their play pen.A: In the dictionary. Day 186Knock, knock. Day 178Q: What is a top’s favorite ride at theamusement park?Who’s there?A: The merry-go-round.Needle little more money for this toyplease. Day 179Q: What is a kitten’s favorite dessert?A: Mice cream.Needle.Needle who? Day 187Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies?A: A baseball team. Day 180Q: Where did the bird go when he losta feather?A: The re-tail shop. Day 188Q: Why is it not a good idea to try totrick a snake?A: Because you can’t pull his leg. 2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920Shop!ReallyGoodStuff.comLike Us!facebook.com/ReallyGoodStuffVisit Our Blog!blog.ReallyGoodStuff.com
A Joke-A-Day13200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom Day 189Knock, knock.Who’s there?Yukon.Yukon who?Yukon a let us in? It’s raining out here! Day 194Q: What did thefarmer say tothe horse whenhe walked in thebarn?A: “Why the long face?” Day 190Q: What was the banker’s favoriteplayer on the football team?A: The quarterback. Day 195Q: How longshould anelephant’s legs be? Day 191Knock, knock.A: Long enough to reach the ground.Who’s there?Banana. Day 196Q: What do you call a left-handed dog?Banana who?A: A south paw.Knock, knock.Banana who? Day 197Q: What gives you the power to walkthrough a wall?Knock, knock.A: A door.Who’s there?Banana.Who’s there?Knock, knock. Day 198Q: Why did the book join the policeforce?Who’s there?A: He wanted to go undercover.Banana.Banana who?Orange.Orange who?Orange you glad I didn’t say banana? Day 199Q: What did the students do whentheir shoelaces got tangled together? Day 192Q: What bird loves construction work?A: They went on a class trip.A: A crane. Day 200Q: Why do bananas have to putsunscreen on before they go to thebeach? Day 193Q: Why couldn’t the boy go to thepirate movie?A: Because they peel!A: Because it was rated “ARRR!” 2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920Shop!ReallyGoodStuff.comLike Us!facebook.com/ReallyGoodStuffVisit Our Blog!blog.ReallyGoodStuff.com
A Joke-A-Day14200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The ClassroomReally Good Stuff ResourcesCheck out all of the Really Good Stuff Free e-Books online.You will find help with everything fromReally Good Bulletin Boards to Back-to-School Night.Get Connected With Really Good Stuff Really Good Stuff maintains an online teacher community.You are just clicks away from advice, support and new idea
The 200 kid-friendly jokes in this book are great for classroom (or home) use. Encourage students to create a joke a day for your classroom and create a book that they can take home at the end of the year. Inspiration, humor, and kid-friendly fun are a sure-fire recipe for student success. A Joke-A-Day: 200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom
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Joke telling can be a lot of fun. Or it can be a disaster, like the man who told a joke and everyone booed except one man—he was applauding the booing. If you would like to guarantee disaster in your joke telling, follow these suggestions: 1. Make sure you forget the punch line; sadists enjoy a letdown. 2. Laugh at your own joke and be sure .
that can be constructed as a dry mortarless wall or core-filled to provide a max 1m height. Recommended Use Structural retaining wall that can be concrete core filled. Max. wall height of 1m without reinforcement. Typical Cross Section Dimensions END STANDARD HALF 400 200 200 200 400 200 400 200 200 200 200 200 200 200 200 200 CAP 390 40 240190 .
A second task assessing humor production, the joke stems task, provided people with a funny scenario and the beginning of a joke that people could finish by writing something funny. People had 6 minutes to complete three different joke stems, which were given to participants in randomized ord
1. Learning the basics of stand-up comedy (We’re using them to discover more about comedic conflict) 2. Punching up your material. (We can always go back after our writing and punch-up material using these strategies) Summary: Intro to Joke Types 1. Use joke formats to A) Learn the basics of comedy and B) punch-up your material 2.
Model-Based Calibration Toolbox 13, 21, 23, 24, 27 500 600 Control System Design and Analysis Control System Toolbox 200 200 System Identification Toolbox 200 200 Fuzzy Logic Toolbox 200 200 Robust Control Toolbox 4 200 200 Model Predictive Control Toolbox 4 200 23200 Aerospace Toolbox 200 200 Signal Processing and Communications
Young integral Z t 0 y sdx s; x;y 2C ([0;1]) Recall theRiemann-Stieltjes integral: Z 1 0 y sdx s B lim jPj!0 X [s;t]2P y s ( x t{z x s}) Cx s;t () Pa finite partition of [0;1] Th
