Allez Les Bleu- The Canal Trip

Allez Les Bleu(The Canal Trip)1. ArriveeFriday, June 7, 2019, is a date not likely to be forgotten soon: ‘twas the day ahorde descended upon Homps, not unlike the Roman centurions who sweptinto this ancient Celtic land 2000 years ago. We came from all directions,each arrival an adventure in itself, but we came in peace, bearing goodwishes and celebrating life and family and friendship, to honor one among uson her special day, for Erin Byrne is not one who would pass up a chance toparty for a week upon the Canal du Midi.Don, who took early retirement in order to have time to organize the trip, cameup with a foolproof plan. If everyone had arrived on time with all their luggageand did not dilly dally meandering about the countryside like the Paynes andMiddletons, he might have pulled it off. There were surprises and adjustmentsdaily, but that is why you have a plan – so you can change it! Half the fun isplanning a trip, half the fun is remembering the trip, and all the fun is enjoyingthe trip.I must admit I was a bit worried when, as we neared Homps, I received thefollowing cryptic message from Dan and Rebecca:Jim & Paula - we cannot wait to see your faces when you see your "room." Rebecca & DanIt turned out we were glamping in what was to be called the “Bubble”, butlooked more like a giant boob to me. Dan and Rebecca were our campmatesin a similar shaped tent, as boobs generally come in pairs. If you were quickenough getting through the air-lock chamber, the tent would not deflate. Wehad a nice view of the stars at night, but the trucks on the nearby road were abit close and noisy.

.and the bathroom is where?Many of us then met up that afternoon at the Maison des Vins du Minervoisfor some local wine sampling before heading back to our tents (or rooms forthe lucky ones) to get ready for the evening's entertainment.Erin: Don, where is everyone?Don: Hey, I thought you sent the invitation for tonight!The gathering that evening was a wonderful opportunity to meet up witheveryone, reconnecting, or making new friends and high on the anticipation ofthe upcoming canal cruise. The evening peaked with an invocation by Owen

and Mac which really summed up the week to come: to celebrate Erin andhave a good time doing it! They also set the bar pretty high for Brad and Jim,who were selected to MC the upcoming birthday night celebration.2.Provisioning, learning the ropes and setting sailSomehow we all made it back from Friday’s do and set about Saturdaymorning provisioning our boats, trying to learn from previous experience thatwe always buy too much food and never enough beer, wine, rum or whiskey;after all we were not provisioning for the Crusaders who passed through thissame countryside 1000 years ago. (Spoiler: we did not learn). Then it was offto LeBoat’s Homps port to learn how to drive these bateaux. A bit like bumpercars, it turns out. Anne and Elaine would soon prove, however, that even thestoutest bumper can be ripped off by a determined skipper! Actually, I think itis all in how one handles the ropes, er, excuse me, the lines! Over the nextweek we were to witness a variety of loops and bights and hitches and knots,some effective, some good only for rope burns, but an even greater diversityin the line-handlers: the nonchalant cowboys roping a calf, the gauchos whotossed a rope like a bola, entangling everything except the bollard, the circusstrongmen who could hold an elephant, the engineers who had to calculate allthe forces to determine how best to secure the vessel! Those poor but patientlock keepers!And so, with plenty of food and drink, and a better understanding the intricateoperations of the canal boat (mainly: don’t pump the blackwater tank while inthe lock or when tied up!), we set off for our first destination: La Redorte,where we would celebrate Erin’s White Party. Erin was feeling guilty aboutbeing the focus of attention – well just a little bit guilty – so she decided itwould be fair to celebrate everybody else’s birthday in La Redorte. Afterlearning our way through the first few locks and settling into our new lives asriver rats, we docked our boats, checked out the town, and that eveningdonned our Whiter Shade of Pale apparel and set off for the White WeddingNights in White Satin. (Sorry, Bing, couldn’t squeeze you in).

Terri: Rick, would you mind nottickling my tummy!Rick: Aw, c’mon! We’re onholiday!3.Marseillette and TrebesMarseillette was to be our second overnight anchorage on the canal and thename certainly had a really inviting French ring to it. When we arrived, it wasobviously Sunday market day: the entire waterfront was a long flea market,covered with vendors hawking of all types of goods and shoppers apparently

from the nearby countryside. Dani and Lisa claimed to have found a very cutewine shop in the town, but then had to admit that the wine was not verygood. In fact, Lisa was to become very well known on this trip for sendingmessages like “OMG, best wine tasting ever!” or “OMG, best cassoulet ever!”or “OMG, best castle ever!” only to find the wine was crap, the cassoulet wasactually yesterday’s escargot, and the castle was closed for lunch.Well, most of us slowed down to catch the sights and sounds of theMarseillette market, but motored on past the little village, except, as Iunderstood from vague WhatsApp comments, for the Joie de Vivre, Ann andAileen’s bateau. I think they let Mac drive, but he refused to use the mainengine in order to conserve fuel and was trying to maneuver using only thethruster. The All Hands on Deck, skippered by Don and Dan, stopped torender assistance, but ended up drinking all the wine Ann and Aileen hadpurchased for the voyage. The mechanic from LeBoat in Homps, which wasonly a 10 minute walk away, arrived and blamed the problem on “disinterestedimbibers”. Mac promised he would let Aileen drive but by that time, the sunwas getting low, so they, along with O’ Captain My Captain, full of Careys andMenzers, decided to park along the bank and have a good ol’ Frenchbarbeque.In the meantime, Admiral Brad was forging his way up the canal with littleregard for the ducks and nutria and sycamores lining the banks. With aColumbus-like determination, he was focused on one thing only: being first toarrive in Castelnaudary and claiming it for Chevron. His crew, dog-tired frompassaging through so many locks, pleaded with him to please stop inCarcassonne and let Erin catch up. After all, the flotilla was to celebrate herbirthday there! “We can always come back for the party,'' bellowed the fieryadmiral, “after we get to Castelnaudary!” According to my sources, Dave saidhe did not care as long as they did not run short of beer, Dani dittoed, and inthe end Lisa was able to sweet talk Mad Brad into stopping in Carcassonne(“OMG, best sex ever!”).The Strong-Carroll-Benn bateau took a more leisurely pace. Marseillette wascute, but the day was young and we were enchanted with the canal, the locksand the country-side. Geoff was trying to see how close he could come to thebridge supports; his goal was one paper width separation. In the meantime,Paul and Caleb were “learning the ropes” and soon developed a systemwhereby, if the bank was full of reeds, it was Paul’s turn to jump ashore andrun up to the lock; if the bank was solid or had a concrete embankment, it wasCaleb’s turn. Paula, Diane and Renee played cards or drank wine orprepared and ate snacks, or a combination thereof. After a careful analysis ofthe issues, all agreed that Trebes would be a good place to dock for a night or

two. The Thomas and Alexander boat, Pepe le Pew, also arrived at the samedecision, helped by the fact that the locks were closing down for the day.Upon arrival in Trebes, Geoff saddled up the trusty steeds and he, Jim, Pauland Caleb took off in search of a winery. On this particular outing, we found awinery but it was closed for the season; however, Paul made friends with thewatchdogs. Of course, Geoff and Caleb had a competition going: With theirlegs pumping furiously on the single gear bicycles, each would race fromplace to place, Geoff demonstrating that if Caleb were to join the Strong clan,he had better be able to keep up, while Caleb had his point to prove, that hewas a worthy suitor of Renee. In the end, I think it was a tie; at least themarriage has not been called off.If Geoff is not driving a boat, he is riding his trusty steed, so after deciding tospend another night in Trebes, he led the four horsemen to find a winery thatwas open. Jim had an idea about a winery near the rustic village of Rustiquesand off they galloped, Geoff and Caleb doing their best to outdo theother. We found Chateau Canet after a 20 minute ride and, after circling thefacility, were invited to try some wine by Ms. Christine, the co-owner with herhusband of the nicely appointed winery, which, by the way, can accommodate40 people in a rather nice hotel on the grounds in case you go back there witha group. Christine told us many stories about how she, a New Zealander, hadended up with her Dutch husband purchasing and running a winery inMinervois. She also told us how in October of the year before, wholevineyards had been flooded in the worst rainy season to hit the region in 20years. Fortunately, most of the grapes had been harvested, but roads andbridges were washed out and the canal flooded its banks in severallocations. Seems it is a good thing Erin was not born one year earlier.

Don and Brad moored up in TrebesHistorical note: Actually, the photo above, taken in Trebes, near Carcassonne, southern France onOctober 16, 2018, shows boats swept away in the harbor on the Canal du Midi during the floods. (Photoby AFP)After sampling the fine whites, roses and reds at Chateau Canet, we could notleave without a purchase. We were going to get a few bottles, but whenChristine told us she could deliver, we upped the order to a case. Shouldhave got two!

4. Adventure and MisadventureAfter a few days on the canal, the formidable fleet was well en cours, skippersand crews getting used to each other, the navigation systems, the maritimelingo, and most of all, the instructions from the lockkeepers. Just as each lockwas distinctive and peculiar in its own way, each lockkeeper had his ownpersonality and preferred procedure for securing the vessels in hisjurisdiction. This was not always the same for each lock, at least within thepurview of our understanding of the langue d’Oc, but our adept captains andcapable crews soon became so proficient that each bateau developed acertain pride of achievement; however, under this haughty air ofaccomplishment lay a festering maladie of that arrogance which the gods ofour Roman, Greek and barbarian forefathers disdained. To make it worse,there were murmurings of “how cold this is!”, or “it should be warmer!”, or“Oooh, is that rain?” which really upset Aeolus who sent Boreas to put thehubris-filled humans to the test. And so it was that a near-hurricane forcebreeze wafted across the canal, plunging the bateaux into a great frenzy andpanic.